Category: Food for Thought

זכרון ציפה תרצה – The Food for Thought Archives in blessed memory of Celia Rosenberg a”h

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Teruma – Relating to Loftiness 


We say every Friday at the end of Shachris, as well as 3 times on Shabbos, the paragraph in Tehillim (93:1), “Hashem will have reigned, Hashem will have donned grandeur; Hashem will have donned might and girded Himself.” These are words we can’t really relate to. What does it mean that Hashem clothes Himself in haughtiness and strength? Granted Hashem is the most powerful, infinite all-encompassing in existence who created all of this existence and is in control and runs everything in creation, but these are still concepts that are very hard to relate to. Chaza”l even say that the way we praise Hashem in the beginning of shemone esray should be the exact words used, and we shouldn’t add our own praises because we cannot relate to Hashem’s actual greatness and to add what we feel is more praise besides what the Great Rabbis of the Assembly, Anshe Knesses Hagadola, enacted with their Divine inspiration and deep intelligence, would in fact be underscoring and insulting Hashem. However, in this week’s Torah portion of Teruma, listed amongst the contributions to the building of the mishkan the Torah says, “oil for illumination, spices for the anointment oil and the aromatic incense ” (Shemos 25:6).

The Daas Zekeinim wonders why the entire Torah portion is talking about the material that will be used in the construction of the mishkan, but this pasuk is referring to the gifts offered to Hashem. Yet wheat for the Lechem Hapanim, sheep for the daily offerings, and wood for the burning on the alter were not mentioned? He answered that in fact all three were needed for the building.
1. The anointing oil was used to anoint and sanctify all the vessels in the mishkan.
2. The spices for the incense were used just as the way of kings to spice up their palaces before they entered them, and all the more so before the King Of All Kings The Holy One Blessed Be He. We also find that the Shechina, the Holy Presence, only appeared when offering the incense as it says, “the incense covered the cloud” (Vayikra16:13), and it also writes, “for from within the cloud I will be seen” (Vayikra 16:2).
3. The oil for light is also mentioned since it’s the way of kings to light a candle in front of them before they enter their house, and even though He does not need the light, but it is still honor for Him on High. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
We see that the spices for the incense and the oil for the lights is in fact part of the construction of the Mishkan, because they were needed as part of respect towards Hashem upon entering His palace just as any other king used, so they are integral parts of the palace itself. But how does incense or candlelight show respect and honor to Hashem, who has no need for physical items, and in fact detests physical desires and the finite world? If the spiritual soul detests such things, then certainly Hashem would! And if all the words of praise cannot properly do justice to the honor and respect that Hashem deserves, how can a light from a candle and good smelling aromas do anything for Hashem’s glory; if anything it should detract from the due respect that Hashem truly deserves?

However, we must say that this is done not for His own feeling of glory, but for human beings to relate to Hashem’s awesomeness and glory so that they can appreciate the majesty and kingship of the Master of Universe, King Of All Kings. Just as Chaza”l gave certain guidelines, the specific prayers and the specific wording of each prayer as a means for us to appreciate the greatness of Hashem, so to Hashem does earthly finite things for us to relate to His royalty in order to ensure we treat Him with proper respect and honor.

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Mishpatim- Witches and Sorcerers


There is a societal view nowadays that there can theoretically be both good and bad witches and sorcerers, as we find in Harry Potter or the Wizard of Oz. However this is far from the Torah’s perspective. Though the magic that magicians perform in today’s day and age are for the most part only slights of hand, in the past there was indeed such thing as real magic, where the “myths” of witches and sorcerers come from.
In fact, Rabbeinu Bachye defines what magic is, and brings an argument between the Rambam and Rabbeinu Chananel about how far its powers can effect existence. The Torah in this week’s Torah portion of Mishpatim states, “You shall not permit a sorceress to live” (Shemos 22:17). Rabbeinu Bachye defines “the concept of magic as connecting things that are supposed to be separated from each other and when connecting them together down here on earth, so to their powers in the celestial world mix and connect with each other and what results from amongst them are strange but incredible phenomenon! The prohibition of forbidden mixtures is an offshoot of this prohibition because it also mixes the celestial powers where they should be separated and distant from each other. Their connection does a lot of damage.
Behold the necromancers in Egypt their main knowledge was in magic and they did things which were absolutely wondrous according to natural means. Chaza”l taught, why are magicians called ‘kishufin’ in Hebrew because, they are ‘machishin pamalya,’ they disrupt the astrological spheres. The disruption of the astrological spheres is when a person on earth grafts two things which are opposites in simple powers that were decreed for the motions of the planets (and stars) and the decrees of gravity which is there their life force, this is what’s referred to as the astronomical spheres. A person who is placed in this world is supposed to act with in the customs of the world, and according to its basic nature. This is the will of his Blessed Creator that created it in this way. And if one is involved with magic that is a sort of disruption. This is also the view of the Ramban.
But the view of Rabbeinu Chananel z”l in his explanation in tractate Sanhedrin holds that magic does not disrupt the fabric of nature but rather it only appears to make a disruption. Magicians have no power in their actions rather it is only what Hashem decrees as Rebbe Chanina told a woman, ‘There is no one else beside Him.’… You might ask that since magic is useless unless where Hashem decrees it should work then why did the Torah prohibit it and why are magicians that practice it liable for the death penalty? The reason is because they transgressed the decree of Hashem by trying to do something He prevents them from doing. Just as if a person transgressed the decree of a human king and is liable for execution, all the more so for transgressing the decree of The Holy One Blessed Be He King Of All Kings. These are the words of Rabbeinu Chananel.
Now, because the Jews were habituated in this wisdom since they were coming from Egypt, it is something they were used to and easily drawn after, therefore the Torah had to prohibit them from being involved in this type of wisdom. To impress upon us the severity of the matter the pasuk does not say a sorceress shall surely die, but rather ‘shall not live,’ for the Torah wanted to stress the stringency of the matter with a prohibition of not allowing her to live just as it stressed a stringency by the seven Canaanite nations, ‘you shall not let live any soul’ (Devarim 20:16). It specifically mentions that a sorceress, or witch shall not live and not a sorcerer (even though this prohibition applies to men as well) because magic is found amongst women more often…” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 Chas vishalom, one should think according to the Ramban, a real magician could go around Hashem and do things beyond Hashem’s power and jurisdiction! Rather, the argument between Rabbeinu Chananel and the Ramban is to what extent Hashem allows magicians to control heavenly powers. The Ramban holds that they have the ability to disrupt and mix up the spiritual powers that bind and control nature on earth. Rabbeinu Chananel holds that Hashem would not give them the power to disrupt the celestial spheres in heaven but only to do things on earth, which looks like they are having an effect on heavenly powers. Either way, Rabbeinu Chananel’s question of why this deserves execution should still stand, because even if they are rebelling against the decrees of the King Of All Kings why is this any different than transgressing any of His other mitzvos? Indeed, Chaza”l say that even though every transgression deserves capital punishment, Hashem had mercy on many of the mitzvos and allowed for an offering to be brought, instead of death, if transgressed by accident. Many sins also only have the punishment of lashes, even if done on purpose; so why should this prohibition be more severe if it’s the same issue of going against Hashem’s decree? Especially since the prohibition of kilayim, forbidden mixtures, is only punishable with lashes. Why should magic be worse, if it has pretty much the same effect?

We must therefore say that there is a difference between magical practitioners and Farmers (or anyone else that mixes forbidden mixtures), or any other prohibitions that only deserve lashes. Those prohibitions are action of rebellion against Hashem and those actions should be eradicated, as we find that one should get rid of the kilayim, the forbidden mixture of plants that were mixed together, or take out the mixture of wool and linen in one’s garment, etc. Even if kilayim was formed with a neighbor’s plants, that’s considered a damage to the neighbor (see Ramban Dina Digarmi) and one is liable to pay for damages. Therefore, prohibitive actions of this type are punished with lashes, if there are witnesses and warning before doing them, in a Jewish court of law.

However, when it comes to magic, the whole essence of the person is a rebellion against Hashem’s rule and order. That is why it says a witch (or sorcerer) may not live, whereas it only discusses the actions of prohibitions by forbidden mixtures. Therefore, just as the results of the actions by forbidden mixtures must be eradicated, so too the essence of the issue itself by magic must not live; in this case the witch or sorcerer. They were executed if there were two witnesses and a warning. And if they still acted as magicians after the warning, then they were put to death by the Sanhedrin in the times of the Beis Hamikdash.

There is a major difference between actions that are against Hashem’s, to which Hashem has more mercy when handling such rebellion, versus when the whole essence of a person is undermining the way Hashem runs the world. Then He has to take action to get rid of that sort of rebellion.

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Yisro – The Glue of Society: Honoring Parents

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One of the mitzvos enumerated in the Ten Commandments, listed in this week’s Torah portion of Yisro is honoring one’s parents. The Torah states, “Honor your father and your mother, in order that your days be lengthened on the land that Hashem, your G-D, is giving you” (Shemos 20:12).
The Ralbag learns two lessons from this mitzva. The first lesson is that one should respect his or her parents, as it says, “Honor your father and your mother.” The lesson in this mitzva has to do with one’s character development; we are supposed to honor our parents because of the incredible assistance they have given us in our lives, and the fact that they guided us towards perfection when we accept mussar, practical lessons, from them.

The second lesson also has to do with character development, and it is to inform us that when there is a loss in the order of the communal household, there will then also be a loss in communal society. It will bring the destruction of society against the better nature of its citizens. For this reason, the Torah says that if people put effort into this matter, of fixing the home, that will lead to long days on the land that Hashem bequeaths to us. This follows, that if the communal home is not fixed in this manner, then there won’t be long days on the land, against the better interest set up by the citizens of the country. About this the prophet said to the Jews, “Father and mother are held light in you;” (Yechezkel 22:7) to teach them that they were deserving of the enemy coming and exiling them from the land. (Click Here for Hebrew text.)
We have seen the debacle of Socialism and the failed original methodology of the Kibbutz movement, involving trying to make everyone equal. They would separate the children from parents at a very early age in order that children would live alone amongst each other, separate from their parents, as equals, being raised and taken care of by the kibbutz. In order that everyone would have an equal share in everything.

Philosophies like those have destroyed societies and are even an integral part of the breakdown of society even today. But why is this so? Aren’t they doing it for the betterment of the world, for equality? What is wrong with that?
Let us say even if there was Jewish life that strictly kept the Torah, respected the Rabbis and elders, but did not show proper respect, or any respect to their parents; what would be wrong with that? They would still be observing the Torah and receiving guidance from Rabbis, teachers, and mentors whom they respect. What’s the big deal if they would not respect their parents?

However, it would seem that not properly respecting parents was a cause for the exile by the destruction of the first Beis Hamikdash. It must be that if one doesn’t show proper respect and gratitude towards the people who brought you into the world, having the most intimate and personal impact on your life, the ones that raised you, cared, nurtured and guided you into who you are today, then it will have a ripple effect across the entire society, and a breakdown of society will occur.

Even going against the system Hashem has put into place, of parents raising their children and children reciprocating by honoring their parents, if that system isn’t in place and different systems are developed for the “betterment” of society and the world, in the end they will fail. Because Hashem in His ultimate knowledge and foresight understands that everything starts in the home and if it does not start from there, from those who brought you into this world, then there will be a lack of respect, honor and gratitude for anyone, which will create chaos throughout society.

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Beshalach – The Comforts of Your Own Home



A large part of redeeming the Jews from Egypt was getting rid of their slave mentality as my Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Alter Chanoch Henoch Leibowitz zt”l explained in a shmuz on the 4 types of redemption used to free the Jewish people: והוצאתי ,והצלחתי ,גאלתי, ולקחתי. “There are four redemptions here: ‘I will bring you out,’ ‘I will save you,’ ‘I will redeem you,’ ‘and I will take you’”…'” (Shemos Rabba 6:4.) The Sforno explains that at first the slavery will end, then they will leave the borders of Egypt. Then comes the drowning of the Egyptians, because after the death of their masters they will not simply be runaway slaves, and, lastly, they will be anointed as Hashem’s nation at Mount Sinai. The Rosh Yeshiva zt”l asked: why did they have to see the Egyptian’s demise to feel absolutely free? Weren’t they in fact princes from a chashuv [prestigious] lineage of illustrious forefathers, Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov who were unjustly enslaved and incarcerated? Hashem, out of His love and care for His children, seemingly made it abundantly clear that they were not slaves anymore, by stifling and demoralizing the Egyptians masters with the ten plagues. They even officially stopped working for the Egyptians starting from the first plague; so when the Jewish people actually left Egypt, they should certainly have felt free. Why then was the drowning of the Egyptians a necessary part of their freedom? The Rosh Yeshiva zt”l answered that we see from here how hard it is to change our feelings and impressions of ourselves. The Jews felt like freed slaves but not free men upon leaving Egypt. Only after seeing their Egyptian taskmasters washed up on the shore Red Sea after all the miracles did they truly change their self-image. 
In a similar vein, but one step before that, the Ralbag relates in this week’s Torah portion of Beshalach that “if one is trying to get something done then he should do whatever is needed to guard from anything that might get in the way of what he is seeking and to do all within his power to reach his ultimate goal. Therefore, we see that when Hashem wanted to take the Jews as His nation, and keep His oath that He made with the Forefathers, He put a lot of thought and wisdom into ensuring that it happens.

This is why Hashem created incredible wonders; to show them that He is master over everything. And when Hashem took them out of Egypt, He didn’t want to take them to Eretz Canaan in the most direct way, even though it is pretty close to Egypt, because the Jews were not learned in war, and perhaps they would have become scared of war and return to Egypt. Therefore, Hashem took them in such a roundabout way in order to extend their journey. This is also why Hashem loaded them with provisions when they left Egypt, leaving with all their flock, and with many treasures they took with them out of Egypt. This was in order for them not to be too embarrassed to make them want to return to Egypt. For if some of their flock would have been left in Egypt, maybe it would have been a reason for them to be worried about the flock that was left and return to Egypt. The reason why they took all the silver and gold and clothing with them from Egypt was also in order to distance them from the possibility of returning to Egypt, in order so that they won’t need [to feel indebted to] return what they borrowed, with the fact that they were absolutely embarrassed about running away with what they borrowed, since they are only giving back bad for the good the Egyptians did for them by lending them their best clothing and utensils.
 The reason why Hashem took them on such a long and winding route up the Red Sea was in order that they could see the miracles and wonders of the splitting of the sea, and perfect for them the belief in Hashem and His servant Moshe. Granted, the redemption from Egyptians was complete and there was no reason to fear that the Egyptians would run after them. (In fact, later on the Ralbag says the only reason why the Egyptians pursued the Jews at all was because Hashem orchestrated by putting into Pharaoh’s head that Pharaoh should run after them in order to show the wonder that would take place at the splitting of the sea, in order to perfect their belief in Hashem). For this reason, too, Hashem set up constant great wonders in the desert, such as the Clouds of Glory in the day and the Pillar of Fire by night, in order for them to actualize the power of Hashem and His Supremacy; to do whatever He wishes to do. In this way, the Jews would feel subjugated to walk in the way of His Torah in a fashion that they will be for Him a nation and Him their G-D.” (Click here fr Hebrew text.)
 The Ralbag emphasized numerous times that Hashem did what He could to be sure the Jews would not want to return to Egypt. But why would they want to go back to Egypt? They were treated so nastily, persecuted, subjugated to inhumane torturous labor, and even if the Egyptians wouldn’t enslave them again, still just being haunted by the memories in the land should keep them away from going back there. In any event, Egypt was left a wasteland, desolate and charred by the plagues that wreaked havoc on the land. So why would they want to go back? Even if they went back to Goshen, where most of them lived, it was a ghetto. They have an opportunity to find a bigger and better place as the Holy One, Master of the Universe, Father in Heaven had promised them; so why should there be any doubt in anyone’s mind that they would want to go back to Egypt once they left?

We see from here how hard it is to just pick up and leave after being settled in a place for so long. Even if that place was abusive and a horror, it was home, and it’s hard to just leave and stay away. People might think to themselves, ‘Maybe it would be different if we went back, it will be better, like it used to be originally.’ Any excuse to be back to where they grew up and were settled. That is the normal psychology of a human being, to appreciate where they once lived and were settled.

This is why Hashem couldn’t just take them out of Egypt but had to ensure they would not want to go back, just as He had to dispel their slave mentality even after they were free from slavery of Egyptian bondage.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

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Bo – “I Don’t Know”


In this week’s Torah portion of Bo, Moshe warns about the plague of the firstborn which is set to strike at midnight. “Moshe said, ‘So said Hashem, at about midnight I shall go out in the midst of Egypt’” (Shemos 11:4).
The Gemara in Brachos 4a relates that Moshe knew exactly what time chatzos, midnight was so why did he say “about midnight”? “Rabbi Zeirasaid: Moshe certainly knew when it was midnight… since Moshe knew the precise moment of midnight, why did he say: About midnight, instead of: At midnight? Moshe did so because he maintained: Lest Pharaoh’s astrologers err and believe midnight to be earlier. Since no disaster would have occurred, they would say: Moshe is a liar. Moshe spoke in accordance with the principle articulated by the Master (Derech Eretz Zuta chapter 3): Accustom your tongue to say: I do not know, lest you become entangled in a web of deceit.” Rashi adds that one will be drawn by and stumble in his words. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
Moshe knew exactly when midnight was, but he didn’t want to say it with confidence, and rather just said at about midnight the last plague will strike Egypt in order to not be branded a liar by the Egyptian astrologers who didn’t know how to calculate when midnight was, exactly. Therefore, it is better to say something which is in essence an “I don’t know but…” in order to not get swept up in accusations of dishonesty or insincerity.

However, Tosfos (the 4th on daf 3b) in this gemara wonders, “Why couldn’t Moshe say ‘at midnight’ as they told him from Heaven, for it was the truth what they told him?” Tosfos answers something very profound, “One can answer, that he did not want to tell them something that he could not rule on and prove himself if they would ask him to.”
We should truly analyze and contemplate Tosfos’ question, so that we can really appreciate what he is asking. It says in the beginning of Orchos Tzadikim, Gate of Truth, “The soul is created from the place of the Holy Spirit, as it is said, “And breathed into his nostrils the breath of life” (Gen. 2:7). And it is hewn out from a place of purity, and it is created from the supernal radiance, from the Throne of Glory. And in the realm above, in the place of the Holy of Holies, there is no falsehood. There everything is truth, as it is said, ‘”But the Hashem G-d is the true G-d” (Jer. 10:10). I have found written, ‘I am that I am’ ** Hebrew: Eheyeh asher Eheyeh. (Ex. 3:14). And it is also written, ‘And the Hashem G-d is the true ‘ (Hebrew: emes.) G-d, He is the living G-d and everlasting King” (Jer. 10:10). And now it is important to make it known to you that the Holy One, Blessed be He, is the G-d of Truth. For you will find twenty-one times the word EHEYEH which is, by computation of letters, the numerical equivalent of Emes (Truth). And you will also note that EHEYEH (the Name of the Eternal) is by computation of letters, also twenty-one (the numerical value of Emes being 441 or 21 times21). G-d made man to be upright (see Eccl. 7:29), and the seal of the Holy One, Blessed be He, is Truth (Shabbath 55a and see Sanh. 1:5). And it is written, “He that speak falsehood shall not be established before my eyes” (Ps. 101:7). When a man occupies himself with falsehood, then the falsehood does not cleave to the truth. And where there is Truth is as though one were able to describe it as the place of His dwelling in the Heavens and directed towards mankind, for where there is Truth among mankind, then everyone concedes that He made heaven and earth and the sea and all they contain.” If the Truth is Divine, and if Moshe received the truth from Heaven, even by angels, then it is obviously correct; so who cares if the Egyptian astrologers might make a mistake and think it was a lie? Yet the truth is truth and is so special and godly it should not be denied and expressed differently other than in its pure form! (Click here for Hebrew text.)
However, based on Tofos’ answer, it must be that the standards of speaking the truth are different in this world, on earth, than in Heaven. We see from here that because we live in a finite, physical world, obstructed from the pure truth, then if we aren’t muchrach, which means that if we can’t prove and defend what we know to be the truth, then there is something lacking by us speaking about what we know, ourselves, to be the truth. Therefore it is better to say I don’t know, or the like. For if you can’t prove it then you will ultimately come to make up something and be snared in what will turn into a lie, since you don’t know with conviction what you hold as truth and what is in fact truth.

The lesson to be learned from this is that by saying “I don’t know” or in this case “about midnight” is in fact the truth since Moshe in this case knew he could not prove what he knew to be true.

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Vaera – Haunting Pharaoh


This week’s Torah portion of Vaera, we begin to go through most of the ten plagues. The first plague was one of blood. Upon warning Pharaoh about the first plague, the Medrish Rabba in this parsha (9:8) relates that Hashem told Moshe, “‘Go to Pharaoh in the morning, he will be coming out of the water.’ Pharaoh only went down to the water in the mornings because this wicked person declared and lauded himself as a deity who didn’t need to use the facilities; therefore he only went in the morning, when the need was too overwhelming. And the staff that turned into a snake [Hashem told Moshe] you should take with you in order to instill fear of you inside him.” The Maharz”u quoting a different version of the medrish found in the Yalkut Shimone says that Hashem told Moshe that because he declared himself a god, he should inform him that he is only human; so Moshe grabbed him. Pharaoh said, let me go so I can do what I need to do. Moshe said back, is there a god that needs to use the facilities? That is why Hashem told Moshe to get up early in the morning.  
Why did Hashem tell Moshe to take his staff in order to instill fear into Pharaoh? The Maharz”u says to look at the previous medrish, which said that what it means that Aharon’s staff swallowed their staffs, Rebbe Eliezer says, is that a miracle within a miracle happened. The staff turned back into the original staff [after it had turned into a snake] and then swallowed all the other ones. When Pharaoh saw this, he was bewildered and said ‘What if he tells the staff to swallow Pharaoh and his throne, it will now swallow him…’ We see from here that the staff was brought that morning in order to haunt Pharaoh and remind him of the threat that he could be swallowed up by the staff. 
The Eshed Hanachalim has an interesting twist on why the staff was brought to instill fear into Pharaoh. “Maybe he will have a change of heart for the better. Because Hashem doesn’t want to take revenge like human beings. Rather He is warning him and instilling fear into him perhaps he will repent.” The Eshel Hanachalim goes on to prove that that is what Hashem was trying to do. (Click here for Hebrew text.) 
But why did Pharaoh have to be haunted by this staff in order for him to possibly repent? Wasn’t it obvious that he was wrong? He was caught in an act of being mortal by his arch nemesis; there was nothing he could deny, intellectually! Besides the fact that emotionally, even in the back of his mind, he had the memory of the staff fresh in his mind! So why the need to bring it just to haunt him and make a greater impression upon him to change?

We see from here how hard it is for a person to change his character and way of life. Even though Pharaoh couldn’t deny to Moshe that he was only human, as well as the fact that the threat of being swallowed up by the staff was fresh on his mind, still, in all, it wasn’t enough for him to admit his flaws and repent. The Eshed Hanachalim also says that even after he was haunted by the staff, then perhaps, maybe he would repent. Instilling fresh fear while being caught in the act of not acting godly still wasn’t able to ensure his repentance; and in fact he didn’t. Things got much worse for his entire country with the ten plagues and the eventual annihilation of his entire army when they drowned in the Red Sea.
 However, the Yalkut Shimone in Yona (550), quoting a Pirkei diRebbe Eliezer (chapter 43), relates that Pharaoh was the only Egyptian who survived the drowning at the Red Sea because he was rewarded foe exclaiming before he would have drowned, “Who is like You among the heavenly powers, Hashem” (Shemos 15:11)!  At that point, broken and humiliated, he in fact repented and ran off to Nineveh. Hashem granted him the chance to live for hundreds of years longer, and he was the king of Nineveh in the book of Yonah the prophet. When Yonah finally came to Nineveh and told the people in the great metropolis to repent from their evil ways, the king, who was Pharaoh, told everyone to not take Yonah’s word lightly because his G-D means business and is being very serious. Millions of people went through a penitent process that lasted only 40 days, but we clearly see that Pharaoh finally got the point and acknowledged who is Boss. (Click here for Hebrew text)
 Ultimately it can only take oneself to choose to change his or her own life. No one can force them to do it. There can be pressure, a lot of pressure, but it’s still only up to one’s own self to change.

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Shemos – Moshe’s “Match Made In Heaven” Story


 Many couples have a special story how they met and it’s one of those touching stories with “Hashem’s guidance at the right time” written all throughout it. Moshe Rabbeinu has one of those stories as told over in the Medrish Tanchuma (10,11) of this week’s Torah portion of Shemos.

When Moshe ran away to Midian and found a well, he was taking the route of his forefathers. The Etz Yosef actually says it would have made more sense for Moshe to go to the local inn;, why did he wind up by a well? It must be he was looking to get married. The medrish continues, by saying that there were three people who found their match by a well:, Yitzchak, Yaakov, and Moshe…

The next paragraph relates how Yisro’s daughters wound up becoming shepherds, as. Yisro was a priest for idolatry. If that was‘s the case,why could Hashem orchestrate that such a tzadik, a righteous man, like Moshe, wind up amongst idolatry, if on the contrary Hashem is zealous against idolatry? However, since Yisro was a priest and idols were usually degraded by their worshipers and attendants, Yisro realized the fallacy behind idolatry and decided to repent before Moshe had even showed up. He called his whole city together and said,‘until now I was working for you, now I am elderly, go choose some other priest.’ He then got up and removed all the idols and  theparaphernalia used for upkeep and worship from out of the temple and gave it all to them. In response they excommunicated him; no one could have anything to do with him or work for him;, meaning they couldn’t even be his flock’s shepherd. Yisro asked the shepherds to take care of his flock, but they refused and banished him and his daughters like a woman divorced from her husband;, meaning they weren’t thrown out of town but were ignored by all. That is how the daughters became shepherds. Then one day the shepherds were harassing the daughters of Yisro, and it happened to be the day Moshe showed up looking for a shidduch, and he saved them. They then went back home and told their story to their father of how an Egyptian saved them, and water miraculously came up the well towards him and they were able to feed their entire flock. Yisro said back to them, “do you know who this is? It is a grandson of ‘those that stand by the well’ that the well recognizes it’s master.” (The Etz Yosef points out that Yisro knew the story of Yaakov and Rivka, how the well was blessed because of them, and its water would simply rise up when they needed water. They didn’t need to put in any effort to draw water, rather the water would rise up to meet them). So Yisro told them to invite him to eat, and perhaps he would marry one of them. Moshe wound up marrying Tziporah and the rest is history. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

Within this beautiful story the medrish asks why the daughters told their father that an Egyptian saved them;, did Moshe look like an Egyptian? The Etz Yosef points out that Egyptians (descendants of Cham) and Ivrim (descendants of Shem) looked very different, besides the fact that Moshe looked angelic, so how can they mistakenly think he was an Egyptian?! Rather the medrish answers that if not for the Egyptian that Moshe killed, he would never have wound up in Midian. This could be compared to a person who was bitten by a poisonous snake;, he runs to a river to put his bitten leg into water. As he goes into the water, he sees a small child drowning and saves him. The child says, ‘If not for you I would be dead!’ He says back, ‘I didn’t save you the snake did, who bit me, and I ran away from him and saved you.’ So to the daughters of Yisro told Moshe, ‘Thank you for saving us from those shepherds. Moshe told them, ‘The Egyptian I killed saved you.’ Therefore, they told their father it was an Egyptian, meaning who caused all this to happen to us it was the Egyptian who was killed.

The Etz Yosef quoting a Yifeh Toar says the reason why Moshe didn’t credit himself is because the whole thing happened through Hashem. The obvious question is that Moshe didn’t credit Hashem either, and he could’ve said Hashem sent me to save you, or this was all orchestrated by Hashem. Why did Moshe give the credit to the Egyptian he killed?

It is evident that Moshe made it clear that Hashem saved them, but he was teaching a lesson that the best way to realize Hashem’s interaction and “Hand” in the process is by going into detail about each step of how they got saved. Contemplating and expressing every detail and not just plainly crediting Hashem will make people better appreciate Hashem’s ever involvement in our lives.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

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Vayechi – Life Cycles

 In the concluding Torah portion for the Book of Breishis, parshas Vayechi, Yaakov passes away and the Torah relates that the brothers mourned for seven days (Breishis 50:10). The last Medrish Tanchuma in the book of Breishis concludes that from this pasuk we learn the laws of shiva, the day mourning period following the death of a close relative. …The medrish then asks why the mourning period is for exactly seven days?, and answers that it is contrary to the seven days of partying for a wedding, sheva brachos. The Etz Yosef, quoting the Yifeh Toar, asks what does one have to do with the other,  that the text of medrish (which the Etz Yosef says we don’t have) says “just as he comes he will go?” The Yefeh Toar explains that this hints to the fact that there is no point to life in this world, and its joys, because in the end a person will die;, just as he comes he will go. Therefore, just as the days of partying we have for a wedding, which is for the sake of having children (if Hashem grants the couple to have children), is for 7 days, so too the days of mourning are the same amount. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 We must put in context what it means that there is ‘no point to life and happiness in this world. For if that is really true, then why have days of feasting by a wedding, and what about what the Mesilas Yesharim says in the first chapter, “…but the path to the object of our desires is this world, as our sages of blessed memory have said, ‘This world is like a corridor to the World to Come (Avos 4:21).’ The means which lead a man to this goal are the mitzvos, in relation to which we are commanded by G-D, may His name be blessed. The place of the performance of the mitzvos is this world alone.” If that is the case than doesn’t this world have a very important role in our lives and the Torah even says in the curses of parshas Ki Savo “because you did not serve Hashem, your G-D amid joy…” (Devarim 28:47). So we see how important life is in this world, as well as living it up happily and serving Hashem with joy. s So how can the Yefeh Toar be saying there is no point to life and happiness in this world?

However,, the answer is, that vis a vis the World to Come, this world is nothing, as the Medrish Tanchuma concludes, “The Holy One Blessed Be He said that in this world you are pained over the righteous, mourning for 7 days. In the future to come I will switch their mourning to glee and comfort them and cheer them up from their depression (Yirmiyahu 31:12). And I will comfort Tzion and its destruction, as it says, ‘For Hashem will comfort Tzion, He will comfort all her ruins; He will make her wilderness like Eden and her wasteland like a garden of Hashem; joy and gladness will be found there, thanksgiving and the sound of music’ (Yeshayahu 51:3).
 The Medrish Rabba concludes Sefer Breishis the same way as the Tanchuma, and the Yefeh Toar there explains that “this pasuk is only a hint to the concept of seven days of shiva but it’s not a Torah level obligation. Mourning for seven days is only Rabbinic. Since that’s the case the medrish was wondering why the rabbis enacted mourning to be for that long, isn’t there a punishment for mourning over the dead too much (See Devarim 14:1)? That is why the medrish answers that 7 days is opposite the sheva brachos, 7 days of feasting by a wedding. (Sheva brachos is learned from Shimshon in Pirkei diRebbe Eliezer, parenthetically.) Since it’s better to go to a mourners house then to go to a party house, and the hearts of the wise are at a mourners house and the hearts of fools are in a party house, therefore the days [of celebrating and mourning] are equal… there is another reason [why they are equated] because the days of feasting by a wedding has a connection to the days of burial, for since a person is destined to die, therefore he feels compelled to try to have children, and ensure offspring… Therefore, the days of mourning were set up as 7 days just as the days of partying after a wedding.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
  If it is so bad to mourn too much over the dead, then why is it permissible to set up these seven days of mourning just to equate it to the seven days of partying at after a wedding? Isn’t it still going overboard;, why risk the punishment?

However, it would seem that the lesson learned from equating them two is such an important lesson that it’s worth it for the Rabbis to enact seven days of mourning. In fact, the reason for the punishment of overly mourning is the same as for Shiva, to realize that this world is temporary and we should not put too much focus on it, as mentioned in the Sforno Devarim 14:1, “there is no reason to mourn excessively for the person who has passed as he, at least, has not experienced any loss, on the contrary, he has been promoted to the region of eternal life, something of which our sages in Avos 4:6-7 have said that a single hour of the serenity experienced in that life is worth all the combined delights ever experienced during one’s transient life on earth.”

There is definitely a very important attitude to live life and enjoy it in this world;, it is the corridor to prepare yourself for the ultimate joy of basking in Hashem’s presence in the next world and part of the preparation is to be happy while serving Hashem. That is part of living life properly, but it must be with the perspective that it is just temporary, it’s not the beginning and end of life. There is much more to life than this world and the real joy is in the World to Come. This equation puts one’s mindset into the proper perspective, if focused on accurately, that as important this world is the main place to look forward to is the World to Come.

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Vayigash – Anger Management Solution

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 The Ramban opens his letter to his son saying, “Constantly act by talking all your words softly, to every person, at all times. In this way you will be saved from anger, which is a bad attribute that causes people to sin. As Chaza”l (Nedarim 22a) say, ‘All who are angry, all sorts of Gehenom control him as it says (Koheles11:10) ‘remove anger from your heart, and take off bad from your flesh,’ and bad only refers here to Gehenom as it says (Mishley 16:4) ‘and also the wicked for the day of bad.'” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The beginning of Orchos Tzadikim, in The Gate of Anger, states: “Anger is an evil trait. Just as scurvy is a disease of the body, so anger is a disease of the soul… Our sages have said further (Nedarim 22b): ‘If one gets angry, even the Shechina is of no account to him…And he also forgets his learning and grows in stupidity… and it is known that his sins are more than his merits…’ and his punishment is very great…” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

If this is how terrible the character flaw of anger is, then why does the Rabbeinu Bachye in his introduction to this week’s Torah portion of Vayigash say that “it is well known that Yosef should not have been the one showing anger over his stolen goblet, but rather Yehuda and his brothers, who were in fact innocent of the crime since the whole thing was a setup, were the ones that should have been angry. Nevertheless, Yehuda the great wise one, powerful physically and spiritually, was able to overcome his proclivity and did not become angry. Even though it was fitting for them to be angry, Yehuda saw that it wasn’t the time or place to get angry,  but rather to speak gently in order to calm down the wrath of the master, Yosef.” How can Rabbeinu Bachye say that the brothers were the ones that really should have been mad? No one deserves to be angry, because anger is such a bad character trait as we saw above! So what does Rabbeinu Bachye mean when he says the brothers were deserving of feeling angry?

 It must be that anger is a very different negative character trait than most character flaws, in that it comes spontaneously onto a person, whereas other characters flaws are developed. This is why there is no prohibition of becoming angry in the Torah but there are prohibitions against other emotions, such as jealousy, “Don’t covet” (Shemos 20:14), hatred, “Don’t hate your brother in your heart” (Vayikra19:17), and haughtiness. As the Orchos Tzadikim says in the beginning of The Gate of Pride, “Pride is the coin the Great, Blessed King has invalidated and which He has extorted us about in His Torah, as it is written: ‘Take heed lest you forget Hashem your G-D’ (Devarim8:11) for the proud man forgets his Creator…” The feelings of pride, hatred, and jealousy develop inside a person and get worse over time, so the Torah prohibits one to develop those negative attributes. But anger is a spontaneous emotion, which is why it makes sense that in their circumstances the Rabbeinu Bachye says Yehuda and his brothers were the ones who should have been experiencing it, not Yosef. This is also why the Torah didn’t place a prohibition against becoming angry. However, since if you let it fester, it is so unhealthy, Hashem created a system to manage anger which the Ramban says is to always speak softly. That will diffuse the feeling of anger that might be triggered when someone is being irritating, which might naturally spark anger.

However, talking softly isn’t just a system to calm oneself down; it can also be used as a weapon or mechanism against other people who are angry at you, to calm them down and diffuse the situation. Rabbeinu Bachye, as he always does in his introduction to the Torah portion quotes a pasuk from Mishley. “A gentle reply turns away wrath, but a galling word incites anger” (15:1). “Shlomo Hamelech (the author of Mishley) is warning a person in this pasuk to raise one’s soul and habituate one’s natural tendency and speech in replying gently to others, because replying gently quiets and puts to rest anger towards an angry person. Antagonizing words which are the opposite of replying gently cause a buildup of anger and wrath.” Rabbeinu Bachye goes on to describe the power of speech in general; how it is a great power that can influence good and bad, life and death, as we see speech being related to learning Torah but also to speaking lashon hara/slander. Then he says, “And because speech is a major component for saving one’s soul and body, or G-D forbid causing its destruction, King Shlomo comes and teaches knowledge to the nation that they should strengthen themselves in this attribute of replying softly because it calms wrath, even the wrath of the king as he says, ‘the king’s wrath is like angels of death’ (Mishley 16:14). Now Yehuda ben Yaakov excelled in this attribute for he spoke to Yosef softly and in this way calmed his wrath that he was showing them, for he was angry over the incident of the goblet [found in Binyamin’s sack.]” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

 We see from Rabbeinu Bachye that speaking softly doesn’t just calm oneself down but can calm others down, even an angry leader. The reason why soft speech even has an influence on others is as the Ramban writes later in his letter to his son, “Therefore I will explain to you how to act with the trait of humility, to walk in it constantly. All your words should be said gently… and if someone calls out for you don’t answer him loudly, rather gently, like one who stands before his master.” Speaking gently has a calming effect which makes others perceive that you are humbling yourself before them, and therefore they feel obliged to act in kind and treat you with some level of respect. That is why the anger resides on both sides, you are feeling ashamed or humbled by your actions of speaking gently and he feels respected.

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Miketz – Fooling Themselves


Yosef’s brothers confront him in this week’s Torah portion of Miketz. The obvious question is: why hadn’t they figured out who he was? Yosef unintentionally dropped so many hints that it seemed obvious he was Yosef; how were they able to turn a blind eye?

The Torah states, “Now Yosef was the ruler over the land; it was he who sold grain to the entire populace of the land, and Yosef’s brothers came and prostrated themselves to him, with their faces to the ground. And Yosef saw his brothers, and he recognized them, but he made himself a stranger to them, and he spoke to them harshly, and he said to them, ‘Where do you come from?’ And they said, ‘From the land of Canaan to purchase food.’ Now Yosef recognized his brothers, but they did not recognize him” (Breishis 42:6-8).

The Radak first quotes Rashi, that the reason why the brothers did not recognize Yosef but Yosef recognized the brothers was because he left them without a beard and now he had a beard; but they all had beards when he left so he recognized them but they did not recognize him. However, the Radak continues, “that it was really possible for them to recognize Yosef even though he now had a beard, except for the fact that they saw him in a high position of leadership and it was so farfetched in their eyes that this was Yosef who they sold as a slave and now he is master over all of Egypt. They said in their hearts that even though he looks like Yosef, there are many people that look a little bit similar to each other, therefore it left their hearts that this was Yosef.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The brothers were face to face with the viceroy of Egypt and he looked exactly like Yosef. Yet they literally could not believe their eyes; in reality they didn’t want to believe their eyes. Although they knew about Yosef’s dreams that they would bow down to him, and in fact they even came to Egypt looking for Yosef, they still were unable to put two and two together, whether consciously or unconsciously.

The Radak goes on to explain the end of pasuk 7, that Yosef purposefully estranged himself from his brothers by speaking to them harshly and calling them spies. This was in order to remove the possibility that he was Yosef from their hearts and minds. But they had many hints afterwards, which should have given away, the fact that the person in front of them was actually Yosef. Just to name a few, for example, when Yosef heard the brothers talking amongst themselves expressing their regrets for what they had done to him, Yosef, pasuk 24 based on the Radak says he started crying because he saw them admitting fault, and he had to run out of the room to compose himself. Afterwards, the pasuk says Yosef threw Shimon in jail right in front of the brothers; but the Radak quotes a medrish (Breishis Rabba 91:8) that says that after they left Yosef took Shimon out of jail, fed him, washed him up, and anointed him with oils to freshen up. Wouldn’t that tip off at least to Shimon that something strange was going on and allow him to consider that he might indeed be his brother Yosef? In fact, when Shimon was reunited with hos brothers, he could have told them this viceroy might actually be Yosef, but he never thought about that! (Click here for Hebrew text.)

When the brothers came back to Egypt with Binyamin, Yosef invited them to eat with him,  they still thought that he was up to no good, and that there was no way that he might actually be their brother, being nice to them. The Radak on perek 43, pasuk 18 says that the brothers were saying to each other that this viceroy of Egypt was trying to find excuses to take them as slaves by first contriving a plot to find them guilty on charges of stealing their own money that they paid with. He was being nasty to them from the start, so now by inviting them to eat with him he was setting up a trap to make them his slaves. They didn’t hear what Yosef had told his servants, to fill their bags with money as gifts to comfort them. He even told them in pasuk 23, “Peace shall be with you, you shall not be afraid, your G-D and the G-D of your fathers gave to you treasures in your bags. Your money came to me, and he brought out to them Shimon.” Even though Yosef attributed their good fortune of finding money in their bags to Hashem, still they didn’t get the hint. This wasn’t even the first time he had mentioned G-D. Before in perek 42 pasuk 18 Yosef said, “On the third day, Joseph said to them: “Do this and live I fear God.” The Radak there says Yosef is telling the brothers, I fear G-D and I would not keep all of you because there is a famine in your house, and it would be a travesty [to not allow you to feed your household], rather I would keep only one of you to interrogate. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

Then, in pasuk 33, Yosef sits them at the table by age, youngest to oldest, and the pasuk says that they were of course shocked; how did he know? The Radak says the brothers were shocked that this viceroy was able to know their age order, for how was he able to recognize who was older from amongst people that were all born within 7 years of each other? This was astonishing in their eyes, yet still it wasn’t fishy enough for them to connect the dots that he must be Yosef. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

We see from here how far the bias of denial can stretch. The brothers refused to acknowledge the possibility that Yosef became second in command in Egypt and his dreams came true. Therefore even though he looked like Yosef, and there were many hints that it might actually be Yosef, they still never put two and two together until he actually revealed himself as being Yosef, their brother.