There are two reason why you can’t speak lashon hara about someone who has bad character traits, whether it is anger, haughtiness, etc. (1) Either because he might have felt bad and repented after he expressed his bad character like acting out of anger or (2) even if he clearly doesn’t regret the way he act and you see him act in the negative way all the time it’s possible he doesn’t realize the severity of the problem. There are so many complex variables who, when what, where of how to deal with ones feelings that they are very hard to control, also people who are even Torah observant don’t realize how important it is to constantly be working on our character therefore there is no excuse to speak Lisbon hara about a person who you see with character flaws. Even when the Gemara in Tania 7a says one is allowed to call a person who is brazen and chutzpadik, a bad person, that is only for that bad trait but even then you can’t be so quick to judge who has chutzpah and can be called bad because you have to first fully understand the problem of having chutzpah and delineate whether that person has enough chutzpah if any to be called a bad person. There is one other gray area, a trait which really isn’t bad but other people might take it negatively or might start to talk badly of the guy based on what you said. For example being strict is not a bad attribute, we find that Beis Shammai was stricter for the sake of the honor of Torah than Beis Hillel was. That does not mean they were wrong they just had a different outlook in life of how to act. See also Rav Yisrael Salanter’s letter 28 in Ohr Yisrael about this concept. So to call a person strict is not lashon hara unless stated in a negative context. However one should be careful who they speak to when they say someone is strict because it might be placing a stumbling block before the blind for someone might say, ‘you know him now but I remember him when he had terrible anger management problems’ so depending on who you talk to what you say might lead to lashon hara so you have to be careful, just like you have to be careful in front of whine you praise others because the listeners might start talking lashon hara about who you praise. It’s never good to overly praise someone because it will prompt others to find faults on that person.
Torah Riddles Test #96
- Question: What does Rebbe Akiva Aiger hold is the difference between stoking the coals under a pot of meat stew that belongs to a non-Jew (during the week) and dragging a chair or light piece of furniture across a dirt yard on Shabbos in terms of psik reisha?
Background:
A. Psik reisha is when something is guaranteed to happen even if it is not your intention.
B. The Rema in Yoreh Deah 87:6 says one shouldn’t stoke coals under a fire cooking a non-Jews meat stew because maybe there is milk and meat mixed into the walls of the pot and inevitably you will be cooking meat and milk together even though you have no intention of cooking them together.
C. When one is dragging a light piece of furniture across the yard he certainly doesn’t intend to plow his dirt, there is that possibility but it won’t necessarily inevitably happen.
D. Why can’t you make the same argument that there is not necessarily any milk in the walls of the pot so you wouldn’t be cooking meat and milk together?
Answer: A doubt which is in the PRESENT like in the case of the dragging the chair is not considered inevitably going to happen but a doubt of what happened in the PAST is considered inevitable that you will transgress the sin even if it is not guaranteed that it is there therefore it is forbidden to take the risk. When there is a possible guarantee of a problem then you can’t take a chance but if there isn’t even a possible guarantee then you can take the chance even if something wrong might happen but since you have no intention of doing it, it is permissible.
Torah Riddles Test #95
- Question: Why can a drunk or blind man take challah from dough but cannot take Teruma from fruit?
Background:
A. One is not allowed to take teruma from bad quality fruit for good quality fruit.
B. One takes challah from a whole bowl of dough made from five pounds of flour.
Answer: There is no such thing as taking from the bad for the good by challah it is all the same dough so you can be drunk or blind when performing that mitzvah but by teruma you have to be cognizant enough to differentiate so they can’t do it. See Shach Yoreh Deah 328:2:4.
Beshalach – Chesed: Natural Kindness
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This dvar Torah is taken from the notes I took about 18 years ago of Rav Moshe Chait zt”l’s Shmuz in Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim Yerushalayim
We find in this week’s Torah portion of Beshalach The Song the Jew’s sang at the sea. One of the stanzas says: “You stretched forth Your right hand and the earth swallowed them up” (Shemos 12:15).
The Yalkut Shimone says that Hashem required the land to swallow up the Egyptians as a burial. What was their merit to be buried? It was because they said “Hashem is the righteous”. They declared it almost by force, but still it is a tremendous merit that outweighed all the evil they did. Despite all their evil, they admitted they were wrong, so Hashem gave them a burial. This is hinted to in the words: “You stretched forth your right hand;” the right stands for chesed, kindness.
The pasuk “You stretched out Your right hand“ also hints that they were thrown out of the sea onto dry land, and then the dry land threw them back into the sea because it didn’t want to bury these evil people. What was the claim of the sea and dry land to not bury the Egyptians? Their claim was that just as the earth had to receive the blood of Hevel, after Kayin killed him, which looked like a cover up, which is why the Torah says the land shall be cursed, then all the more so, they claimed, if we bury all the Egyptians who died, the land will be cursed! They wouldn’t bury the Egyptians until Hashem “stretched out His Right hand,” which is a sign of an oath that he wouldn’t curse them.
Hashem said to the sea: ”You now have an obligation to perform your duty which is the kindness to bury the Egyptians.” But why did the dry land not want to do its normal duty which is a moral Chesed? Because it had its justifications and Hashem had to assure the land under the sea that they weren’t doing wrong by serving the wicked.
By Yaakov it says he ‘took a bunch of stones to rest his head on,’ and then it says he ‘took one stone.’ Chaza”l says all the stones wanted to be a pillow for Yaakov, so they became one.
The Mesilas Yesharim in the first chapter says there is a reason for all aspects of creation and the ultimate purpose of creation is to serve man, who is the purpose of creation.
The magnetism of rocks is to serve mankind. Can you imagine what a merit it is to have Yaakov Avinu lay on the rock? Not one rock had any more merit than the other rock, so they had, one might say, a magnetic spirituality to serve Yaakov!
This is a new definition of Chesed, because people think kindness is usually for people that deserve it. However Chaza”l say “The world with kindness was built.” That does not mean Hashem created the world with acts of kindness, but rather the whole identity of creatures were implanted with kindness. Not just man was created with one of his attributes to do kindness, but the whole essence of man is kindness. It is part an parcel of his nature, as well as the nature of all creation. That is why the evil Egyptians had a right to be buried, because of the remark they made, that Hashem is the Righteous. This triggered kindness to bury them.
An example of kindness to the highest degree is Avraham Avinu. Immediately after circumcising himself, he welcomed and served 3 “Arab idol worshippers.”
Doing a chesed for a close relative isn’t a big deal; it is expected. But still Chaz”al say Hashem said to Avraham you can wear My Garments of Chesed only after he buried his wife because at that instant he showed he did kindness out of love more than any other time which generated even more kindness.
Every one of us has an obligation to emulate Hashem, which is why we should do chesed. A person should have feelings that you need to help another, this kindness comes immediately when you see an opportunity coming your way. One should not have the attitude that the other needs to be helped which comes when you see a friend giving you signs that he wants something done for him.
Acts of chesed are everywhere don’t miss out on the opportunity!
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder
CITE Sefer Chofetz Chaim chapter 4 halacha 8
If a person refuses to listen to a Jewish court verdict to do a mitzvah or to stop doing a sin the court has a right to publicize the matter and record it in official records for future future generations to see as long as the court assess he is just making up excuses of why he refuses to follow the verdict. But if the court is unsure whether he has a plausible excuse or. It then they shouldn’t publicize his refusal to listen to them.
Similarly we find in the Gemara Yoma 38a in the Mishna there, “And these are mentioned for censure: Those of the House of Garmu did not want to teach others the proper production of the Showbread. Those of the House of Avtinas did not want to teach others the proper means of production for the incense. Hugras , a Levite, knew a special musical method but did not want to teach it. Ben Kamtzar did not want to teach his special method of writing. Concerning the first ones mentioned in the previous Mishna on 37a it is said “The mention of a righteous one is for blessing,” and concerning these it is said, at the end of the verse, “And the name of the wicked will rot” (Mishlei 10:7). The sages in that generation had warned them that they should share their secret talents with others to be sure they would not be lost but they refused to listen without any good excuse therefore the Mishna writes they are cursed, all the more people who refuse to listen to the courts to actually fulfill mitzvos or to not listen can be publicized for their wrong doing and written in the records.
However when the Rishonim say we are not allowed to speak lashon hara about people who don’t fulfill mitzvos or who sin even if it is true that is in two possible scenarios:
A. Either he didn’t realize how severe of a problem it is to do the sin he did or to not fulfill the mitzvah he ignored, or
B. Even if they understand the consequences sometimes the evil inclination gets the better of them and convinces people to transgress the word of G-D but afterwards most likely they regret what they have done and repent, therefore one may not speak any lashon hara about them. But people who have been warned to not repeat a transgression especially if warned by the court has no excuse that they don’t understand what they are doing wrong and if they refuse to change then it’s obviously not just the evil inclination overcoming his will to do good in the moment therefore it is permissible to speak out against him to be sure people stay away from him and not learn from his wrongdoings.
Bo – Yearning For The Protection
Seder night on Pesach there are many who have the custom to leave their doors unlocked. This is based on a halacha brought in the Rema: “All the laws that apply to the first night should also be followed on the second night. And there is a custom to only read the first paragraph of Shema on one’s bed before going to sleep, but not the other paragraphs which one is accustomed to do on all other nights, for protection, since this night is a night of protection from dangers” (Mishna Berura 481:2). This halacha is based on a pasuk in this week’s Torah portion of Bo: “It is a night of anticipation for Hashem, to take them out of the land of Egypt; this night is Hashem’s, guarding all the children of Israel throughout their generations” (Shemos 12:42).
The Rashbam, who is known to explain the pesukim in its simplicity, says: “’It is a night of anticipation for Hashem’ from the days of their forefathers The Holy One Blessed Be He was yearning for this night to take the Children of Israel out of Egypt just as he promised them. And for the Jews it is a night of anticipation for all generations, for they yearn for this night to celebrate the holiday of Pesach with all its laws. The word שִׁמֻּרִ֛ים means waiting (or anticipating) just as it says by [Yaakov about Yosef’s dream] ‘but his father awaited the matter’ (Breishis 37:11).”(Click here for Hebrew text.)
According to the Rashbam, both times when the pasuk uses the term שִׁמֻּרִ֛ים are referring to anticipation (or yearning), by Hashem; anticipating the Jewish people’s redemption and the Jewish people anticipating or yearning for the Holiday of Pesach every year throughout the generations. But there seems to be a stark difference, which challenges what seems to be expected of us each year, between our yearning and anticipation of Hashem’s yearning, of redeeming us from Egypt, or even to Yaakov’s yearning and anticipation to see what would be of Yosef’s dreams. For Hashem was yearning for the day to come when, in natural time, His children would be redeemed and saved from the nasty exile and slavery destined for them in order to receive Hashem’s gift of the Torah, transforming them into a nation, the Light unto all the other nations. This is something obviously worth anticipating, and it is in anticipation of what will happen in the future, which has not yet happened. Certainly by Yaakov Avinu, who did not know the future and what would become of Yosef’s dreams; it definitely warrants yearning and anticipation, an excitement which he probably could not wait to see play out! But us Jews go through the same each Pesach, with the same laws every year, year in and year out. We were already redeemed, the excitement already happened, it is a thing of the past. How can we be expected to yearn and anticipate each and every year, it is the same thing that has happened every year;doesn’t it lose its pizazz and excitement after a while?
It would seem that it is built into every Jew to be excited about celebrating our freedom on Pesach, with all the laws that pertain to it. However there is a logical step to assume that in order to keep that excitement alive each year it is incumbent upon us to find something new to do, to get us excited for the coming Pesach, be it a new insight into the Story of Pesach or a new recipe for the meal, or even new guests to share Pesach with, something within the parameters of Jewish Law to keep the holiday exciting in order to look forward to it as it gets close and when it comes.
Sefer Chofetz Chaim chapter 4, halacha 7, footnotes 31 & 32
Footnote 31: When the Chofetz Chaim says you are allowed to speaking badly about someone who is purposely sinning and refuses to listen to rebuke that is only if someone influential who is worth listening to and can be trusted rebuked him or if you showed him in an authoritative halachic Sefer that what he is doing is wrong. But if you aren’t influential enough, even if your rebuke is true that doesn’t give you license to speak lashon hara because maybe he just didn’t believe you and thought you were wrong. Rather you should just tell a figure of authority let him deal with it and if the sinner still doesn’t listen then you can spread the word about how terrible this person.
Footnote 32: However there is five condition that must be met before talking slanderously about a person who you know always purposely does a sin which people know is wrong, however if this person is one who threw off the yoke of Heaven and just doesn’t care then you don’t have to meet these five conditions:
1. You have to have seen the sin your self or everyone in town knows about this guy’s bad deeds.
2. The sin you saw him do either had to be black and white wrong or one must thoughrally check into the matter to be sure he did something wrong before spreading slander about him.
3. Don’t exaggerate.
4. Your intentions should be altruistic for the good of society to keep them away from evil, no ulterior motives like just hating the guy, making yourself famous, rather just spread the word for the sake of truth.
5. You can’t slander him behind his back but flatter him to his face unless you are afraid he will hurt you then you can spread the word in private individually as long as your intentions are for the sake of Heaven, sanctifying Hashem’s Name.
Torah Riddles Test #94
Question: Why can a non-Jewish maid sew her own clothes in a Jew’s house on Shabbos but she cannot write her own personal letter?
Background:
A. A maid cannot do melacha, forbidden work for her Jewish boss on Shabbos and the Mishna Berura 244:5:30 says that even for her to do work for herself is forbidden in his home so that people who see her shouldn’t say she is doing work for a Jew, I.e a maaris ayin issue.
Answer: When fixing her clothes everyone would agree it is obvious she is doing it for herself but when writing a letter it is not so obvious it is for herself.
Torah Riddles Test #93
Question: Why is there an issue of mar’is ayin by a certain case in the laws of Shabbos but not in a certain case by the laws of Kashrus?
Background:
A. Mar’is ayin is causing others to think you are doing something wrong when you really aren’t. You can’t put yourself into that situation, for example walking into a McDonald’s to ask for a coke and people might think you are buying non-kosher food.
B. The Rema in the Mishna Berura (244:1) says one cannot hire a non-Jew as a contractor to build a wall around your house if he is going to be also working on Shabbos because people with think he is being paid a daily wage which is certainly forbidden to do on Shabbos rabbinicly. And even if one lives in the middle of nowhere only among non-Jews there is concern that a guest who comes or one of your household members will suspect you of hiring him as a daily wager on Shabbos.
C. A contractor can technically get something done for you on Shabbos because you are not paying him by the hour or day, rather to just get the job done so working on Shabbos is for his own convenience not for your benefit it is just forbidden because of mar’is ayin since people will say he was hired by the hour to work for you even on Shabbos and the rabbis forbade non-Jews to work for or give benefit to a Jew if it will be doing something a Jew cannot do on Shabbos.
D. The Nachalas Tzvi in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah (87:3) said that we are allowed to cook chicken in almond milk because milk and chicken is only rabbinically forbidden and though the Shach and Maharshal argue on the Rema and says there is an issue of maaris ayin even for rabbinic matters so it should apply in this case too however the Rema holds that surely maaris ayin applies in rabbinic cases but only in cases which is for sure maaris ayin but here in this case where chicken is being cooked in almond milk inside the house there is no concern of a prohibition accept for what the rabbis enacted that whenever there is an issue of maaris ayin that’s even privately in the house but that’s only for Torah level mitzvos but here even if he is making it in front of his household it is considered private because they for sure know what he is doing.
Answer: By the Chicken in almond milk they can see what he is doing so there is no room to be mistaken but by the shabbos case not everyone knows the business of the head of the household so there might be what to be suspect.
Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 4 halacha 7 with foot note 30
The Chofetz Chaim says that until now we were talking about a person who will regret the wrong he did, because his evil inclination just over cane him, maybe it will take a little force like the court, relatives, or his rabbi, to get him to realize his wrong doing and repent but if he is one who has knowingly and decisively decided to throw away the yoke of Heaven and purposefully does not keep Torah and mitzvos or is someone who on purpose without any remorse, repeatedly doing a sin knowing it is wrong and maybe if he was told to stop he totally ignores it. This type of person even if he is not known to others as being evil but you know his character, the Chofetz Chaim says you are allowed to tell other about the sin you saw him do even if that isn’t the sin he normally transgresses. Even if others don’t know yet that he is evil it might even be a mitzvah to publicize his evil and disposable ways and you shouldn’t worry that others will suspect you of slandering someone, in order to be sure no one will follow in his path, because if you are speaking for the sake of Heaven with sincerity then the truth comes out and people will believe you. This also avoids a chilul Hashem for two fold, one people won’t learn from this bad person’s actions and two of something bad happens to the sinner people won’t question Hashem why such a terrible thing happened to him since they’ll know he is evil. However people who listen to this report cannot decisively believe what he is saying unless it is known that this guy is evil, but they should be suspicious until they verify the matter.