Tag: sefer chofetz chaim

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 4 first half of Halacha 2

One is forbidden to tell anyone else about sins that other people do or the fact they don’t perform mitzvos, whether referring to sins or mitzvos that everyone knows about or those which people don’t take seriously and don’t understand the severity of the law. He gives two examples of mitzvos not taking seriously, Torah learning and lying. The reason why one cannot tell other that another is lax in these matters even if those listening might not take them seriously is because they will now look at the person being talked about in a different light for now on. The Chofetz Chaim makes a very important differentiation. A person who transgresses a mitzvah out of spite, purposefully not having fear of Hashem is considered “not part of your nation” meaning even if he is biologically Jewish or converted to be Jewish but if he is purposefully rebelling then it is permissible to speak lashon hara about him, but most times than not people just make up excuses of why they do things wrong and a person who just sins or doesn’t do a mitzvah because of some excuse, no matter how lame it is you cannot tell anyone what he did, that would constitute lashon hara in most cases.

There is one Gemara in Bava Basra 111b where it seems that Rebbe Yannai spoke lashon hara about Rebbe Yehuda HaNasi to Rebbe Samlai in front of Rebbe Yehuda HaNasi’s face which might be worse because of embarrassment. Rebbe Yehuda asked Rebbe Yannai a question and Rebbe Yanna told Rebbe Samlai let’s go he really doesn’t want to learn he’s just giving me a hard time. But the Chavas Yair says that a rebbe is allowed to speak harshly to a student in order to motivate him to learn deeper and more diligently which was Rebbe Yannai’s intent in this case therefore it was permissible what he did. Obviously Rebbe Yannai was able to deduce that Rebbe Yehuda Hanasi was able to handle and learn from such rebuke.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 4, halacha 1, footnotes 3, 4

Footnote 3: In Brachos 19a it says that if a Tzadik does a sin we assume he immediately did teshuva unless in a case of where he did not return the item he owes the person he took it from. This would seem to preclude that even if a person seems to have changed his ways for the good he is not considered a baal teshuva if he has not returned what he owes. If why does it seem that we are saying here that once we see a person has changed for the good then you can never speak slanderously against him because we can assume he repented, if he didn’t return what he owes he didn’t repent?

The answer is that the Gemara in Brachos and also in Bava Metzi’a 62a which also says, if he relented why does he still have the money, is talking about case where he is able to pay back and he doesn’t then we can technically speak out negatively against him as long as we meet all the prerequisite which will be taught in chapter 10. But here we are talking about a person who didn’t out right steal but rather he was a sleezy, dishonest businessman wheeling and dealing, forcing people to buy or sell things against their will. He became disliked and known by all to be very tough guy to deal with. One day he realized his mistake and changed for the good, becoming an honest businessman man known to all. In this case and in similar cases where it is virtually impossible to return everything he dishonestly took from so many people or he doesn’t have the means to return everything then once he has proven to have completely changed and is now an honest fellow one cannot bring up what he used to do and slander him.

Footnote 4: If one saw someone do a sin he must go over to the guy in private and politely, and gently rebuke him. Only after he repeated his sin in a manner that shows he doesn’t care about the rebuke and about mending his ways than one can publicly embarrass him into repenting.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim perek 4 halacha 1 part 2 of footnote 1 and footnote 2

Two very important lessons we learn today:

        1. People talk, even if they are rabbis and there are far and in between people who are modest and private who you can trust to tell them something and they won’t spread it.

        2. It is illogical to say that if a person did something wrong in his youth even if very severe he still has that problem now, after so many years even if you did not see him repent. If he seems to be acting in a kosher way there is no reason to suspect him of his previous deeds.

Bottom line: People grow up (most of the time)! Therefore there is no excuse to speak lashon hara about them.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 4, Halacha 1, footnote 1 part 1

Today we started the 4th chapter of Sefer Chofetz Chaim which discusses speaking lashon hara about deeds a person or his family did of prohibition between man and Hashem, for example breaking Shabbos or not eating kosher. This means one cannot speak out someone or about that person's family that they use to not keep kosher or the like even if they have totally changed there ways and everyone knows that, and even if it is behind his back because if he would be there it is very likely he would be embarrassed if it was brought up. 
It would seem though, that if he was there and he himself brought up the subject about his past, talking about old times and the mistakes he made or just recollecting about good times with his friend at the movies or parties for instance, then it would be permissible for others to continue the conversation and reminisce assuming it won’t damage his reputation or him physically or monetarily and that the person continuing the conversation doesn’t have intent to denigrate him. 
The Chofetz Chaim brought an illustration about how just the fact a person would be embarrassed is reason not to mention his past misdeeds even if it won’t harm him in any way, from a Gemara in Bava Metzia 59a where King David said that anyone who mentions his sin that he did with Batsheva (which was not as severe as it looked, he did complete repentance, and everyone accepted him as king at that time) would still be worse than the sin itself because if anyone would cut him no blood would be spilled, I.e. he is so embarrassed over what happened. All the more so if it will monetarily, or physically harm someone, for example he won’t be able to find a job because of what you said, or even just to scare him is not permissible.  
If done with malicious intent the Rabbeinu Yona says in Shaarei Teshuva 214 that these type of people the Shechina, Divine Presence, does not rest among them. 
The Chofetz Chaim also illustrates how by just not watching what you say one can create severe ramifications. There is a Gemara in Shabbos 33b which relates that Yehuda Ben Geirim  was privy to a conversation the judges in the Sanhedrin about Rome. Rebbe Yehuda was praising Rome for all the useful roads, bridges, bathhouses etc. that were made which could be used by the Jews to serve Hashem better. Rebbe Shimon ben Yochai said they did it all for there own pleasure and sinful ways. Yehuda Ben Geirim went back home and in innocent conversation discussed what he heard in the Sanhedrin that day. Somehow word got out to the Roman government of what Rebbe Shimon Ben Yochai said which had grave results. 
However the Chofetz Chaim did say that one can confide in a righteous person who is known to be modest and private that you can trust won’t say anything else to anyone and know he will not come to judgement about that person being talked about and he is not trying to insult the guy, then you can tell that rabbi about someone, for example who is not eating kosher, or keeping Shabbos appropriately, for maybe he will be able to help him fix his ways. Another application of one you can trust would be a psychologist or the like who is paid to listen to problems and to keep his mouth shut.
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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 3 footnote 10

We concluded the unit on judging your fellow Jew favorably. The Chofetz Chaim said that even though it is very proper and good character to judge one favorably in cases when it would seem more unfavorable, however technically according to halacha one does not have to judge favorably in this circumstance. But if one does judge others favorably even in these circumstances, at least treating it as a doubt them Hashem will reciprocate and judge you favorably.

Two cases in the Gemara where they did not judge favorably but the reason being is because halachically you don’t need to and these were extenuating circumstances which was not worth going beyond the letter of the law:

1. Bava Metzia 75b: There is a halacha that one should not lend money without witnesses lest the would be borrower would deny he borrowed money and people will curse the lender for giving a bad name to the would be borrower for no reason. This was a real issue to the point that Ravina would not lend money to Rav Ashi without witnesses, lest he forgot he borrowed money, even though they were partners together in writing down the Gemara and they were the leading rabbis of their generation. Why didn’t people judge the lender favorably and not curse him if he claimed the borrower owes him money, maybe he is correct? It must be that halachically one can judge others unfavorably in situations like this where there should have been witnesses at the time of the loan.

2. Sanhedrin 26a: Rebbe Chiya bar Zarnuki and Rebbe Shimon ben Yehotzadak were on there way to the Sanhedrin to testify that there should be a leap year that year. That year happened to be a shmita (sabbatical) year and they saw people in the field plowing and assumed they were hired to plow in a non-Jewish owned field. They then saw people tending to a vineyard and assumed they were fixing fences not working on the actual crop. Reish Lakish saw these two rabbis did not reprimand either of these people and thought they should not be allowed to testify because they don’t care about the laws of shmita so they did not reprimand those people in the fields. He even told Rebbe Yochanan not to accept them as witnesses. Why didn’t Reish Lakish judge them favorably, especially since they were such great sages, Amoraim! It must be that he had no obligation to, and because these farmers looked like they were doing something wrong, and transgressing shmita is so severe than Reish Lakish felt he should not go beyond the letter of the law but rather according to strict judgment and assume there was a problem.

3. On the other hand we see the opposite illustration in Shabbos 127b where a worker judged his employer favorably when the worker asked for his salary right before Yom Kippur and the employer said he had no money, land, possessions or even food that he can send back home with him. The employer then came to him after Sukkos, paid him plus gave him a bonus and asked his employee what he was thinking. When the employee gave excuses, judging his employer favorably with some far fetched excuses, the employer said all that is pretty much true and just as you judged me favorably so should Hashem judge you favorably.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 3 Halacha 7, 8

This week we discussed a very important concept about what triggers a person to speak lashon hara most times. That is not judging your fellow Jew favorably. There is a mitzvah to judge everyone favorably based on the verse, ״בצדק תשפוט עמיתך״ “you shall judge your nation with righteousness” (Vayikra 19:15).

The Chofetz Chaim discussed two levels of people: (1) one who is known to be a G-d fearing Jew, even if you heard or saw something which more likely looks inappropriate or against Halacha you still have a mitzvah to judge him favorably. (Parenthetically rebuking someone where there was an obvious wrong doing is clarifying with that person, not considered judging unfavorably.) In fact the main issue of why Miriam was punished with tzaraas for speaking ill against Moshe to Aharon, even though she was trying just to get to the heart of the truth and certainly not trying to denigrate Moshe in any way, she was only concerned with the fact that because Moshe divorced his wife there won’t be any chance of anymore little Moshe Rabbeinus populating the world, as the Sifri in B’haaloscha says, still in all, with all her positive intent, for her level she was punished because she should have judged Moshe favorably that separating from his wife was the appropriate thing to do under the circumstances of his level of closeness and interaction with Hashem as the leader of the Jews.

(2) People who are in the middle, meaning they are normally Torah observant but they some times slip up. These type of people, if you see them do something or say something which there is a 50/50 chance could be good or bad it is a mitzvah to judge them favorably. Certainly if it is most likely that he didn’t do or say anything wrong you must just him favorably. But even if it most likely looks like something wrong was said or done it is very much the correct thing to do to try to at least leave it in doubt and not speedily conclude he did something wrong. Even if it is pretty evident in your eyes that he is guilty of any wrongdoing that does not give a person the right to tell others about it. This is where the transgression of lashon hara comes in. Exceptions to the rule of keeping quiet are discussed in chapters 4,5, and 10 with all there parameters.

Bottom line one shouldn’t be quick to judgement when you hear or see something which seems to be a problem whether a sin between man and G-d and even a sin between man and his fellow man lest it will lead to lashon hara (unless all the parameters are met and you are supposed to talk.)

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Last Footnote in Introduction

Today we concluded the introduction to Sefer Chofetz Chaim with the last footnote there. After Sukkos we’ll continue from where we previously left off in chapter 3.

Today the Chofetz Chaim touched on a few issues like how everything he writes is based in halacha even if he quotes the mussar sefer, Shaarei Teshuva by Rabbeinu Yona, But Rabbeinu Yona was very precise to speak in terms of laws of lashon hara. The Chofetz Chaim said he anyways brought multiple proofs for all he taught when he quotes sources like Rabbeinu Yona when they rule stringently, though when Rabbeinu Yona rules leniently he will quote him on his own.

The Chofetz Chaim then said that he left no Halacha unturned and even if he wrote a leniency that those who habituate in lashon hara might take advantage of, it is still worth mentioning because Chazal in Bava Basra elaborate on the pasuk that “all of Hashem’s ways are straight and the righteous should walk in them though the wicked my stumble in them.” Meaning it is worthwhile to reveal something which sounds questionable or a leniency on face value but all of G-d’s Torah is truth and those that want to delve into it and observe it properly should have the opportunity to do so even if the wicked might choose to take advantage of it and warp it for their own evil ways.

The Chofetz Chaim then went into much detail proving that the Chaz”al which says “It’s better to do things by accident (unknowingly) then (to be taught the Halacha) and do it purposefully (anyways). The Chofetz Chaim debunked applying this rule to the laws of lashon hara because the rule doesn’t apply to mitzvos that are explicitly stated in the Torah. Would you say don’t teach people the laws of stealing since most people have issues with it anyway? Or don’t teach the laws of Shabbos because they are too difficult to keep? Of course not! On the contrary the Gemara in Erechin purposefully discusses various Halachos of lashon hara and the Torah explicitly tells us we should constantly remember what happened to Miriam in the desert when she spoke lashon hara against Moshe so of course to truly realize the severity we also must learn all the laws that pertain to it.

By learning the laws of lashon hara in detail then even if we sometimes transgress at least we won’t habitually speak it, we might even feel bad in those times when we do slip and apologize to the person you spoke about if you know you made him feel bad and at the very least make sure to try not to speak lashon hara again.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 3 halacha 6

Quite simply today’s halacha plainly states that it is forbidden to speak lashon hara even if no harm was done, and even if you somehow knew no harm would be done.

Unlike other sins between man and his fellow which are only a sin if it actually happened liked stealing, overcharging or interest, lashon hara is a sin even if no harm what so ever is done. The proof is the fact that the gemara in Erechin 16a says the coat the Kohen Gadol wears in the Beis HaMikdash with the bells and pomegranates  is an atonement for the sin of lashon harm if no harm was done. If harm was done then the person received tzaraas, (spiritual leprosy.) There would be no need for an atonement if harmless lashon hara wasn’t a sin. It must be that the very fact a person just speaks negatively about his fellow Jew to his own benefit is enough to be a sin even if no harm is done, which Rabbeinu Yonah in his Shaarei Teshuva also points out.

Furthermore we saw why Miriam was punished with tzaraas even though Moshe didn’t take what she said to heart and it didn’t cause any skirmish or hard feelings whatsoever when Miriram told Aharon lashon hara that Moshe separated from his wife and the Torah said Aharon responded to her words. Rechilus is deserving of tzaraas if it effectuated some kind of skirmish to start, ill-feelings between two people. But lashon hara is deserving of tzaraas even if the speaker caused the listener to start talking about the situation, even if he doesm’t say something negative or tries to defend the person spoken against but point is it made an impression. So because Aharon started talking as the Torah say, after Miriam told him about Moshe, she was therefore derving of tzaraas. Nothing else was said after that and that is why Aharon never got tzaraas. Whatever he said had zero impact on anything.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 3, halacha 5, note 5, with the footnote

Today we discussed that even in a casual manner if you say something which at first glance might not seem negative but your in trickery intent is to throw in a negative fact bout someone, even if hinted to and said straight out, it is still forbidden. 

I gave an example of two neighbors schmoozing about a new family that moved into town and they were discussing how it is a big family with 7 children and they seem to be a very nice and polite family, simple, moving into a 3 bedroom house. One neighbor just wonders how they can fit any guests but then  says he is excited to meet them and get to know them!  

That line thrown in about guests was a casual remark not meaning to be out right malicious but it might imply that this family is not as hospitable then they outwardly seem. That is lashon hara.

Even to possibly just say they are a simple family of 9 living in a 3 bedroom house would be at least avak lashon hara (rabbinic, dust of lashon hara) because that will imply they aren’t hospitable. Of course as we learned before the permissibility or forbiddance of avak lashon hara depends on one’s tone and intent was it meant to be positive or negative, and how did it come out.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim Chapter 3, Halachos 3 &4

Chapter 3, Halacha 3 spoke about the issue of joking around and making fun of others which is also a Torah level sin of lashon hara even if one’s intent is not malicious and one had no hatred in his heart towards the person he was talking about. 
The Chofetz Chaim in footnote 2 says, and this happens to be mentioned in next week’s parsha of Ki Seitzei, that what Miriam said about Moshe to Aharon that he had divorced his wife in order to be in a constant state of purity in order to be ready to talk to Hashem at all times which implied he sacrificed the mitzvah of having children, was lashon hara which she was punished for though she had no intent in maligning her beloved brother. This is THE example to prove his point that lashon hara even occurs if one does not hate his fellow or mean to cause him any harm. By constantly reminding ourselves of this calamity by reviewing the verse in next week’s Torah portion in Ki Seitzei 24:9, “Remember what the Lord, your God, did to Miriam on the way, when you went out of Egypt,” then one will be on his way to being more attuned to controlling himself from speaking lashon hara.

Chapter 3, Halacha 4:  The Chofetz Chaim next mentioned that even if one doesn’t mention the name he is talking about but it can be figured out by the listeners in context it is still forbidden to speak it. Even a hint of sorts, if one intent in his heart is to cause the listener to figure out what he’s talking about which in this way might cause monetary, physical or emotional damage or distress to the person he had in mind it s forbidden. 
The Chofetz Chaim in footnote 3 gives a story pertaining to this halacha  found in the gemara Yerushalmi in Peah 1:1. Where there were a group of Jews designated to work in the pits at a labor camp and on one of the work days a Jew by the name of Bar Chovetz ran away. The group started shmuzing in the work place and asked each other what should we have for lunch? One sly fellow, with malicious intent said aloud ‘Why don’t we have Chovtza?” Which was a type of a lentil. The taskmaster or boss over heard the conversation and something triggered in his mind and he asked, ‘Where is Bar Chovetz?” In which case, this Bar Chovetz got into trouble and Rebbe Yochanan called this lashon hara because the sly guy intentionally suggested eating a food which had a similar name to Bar Chovetz that triggered in the boss’s mind his name and got the guy in trouble. This is how far we apply lashon hara!