Author: Rabbi Milder

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim chapter 8 halachos 10, 11

Halacha 10: You may not speak lashon hara to anyone whether it’s a non-relative or relative unless it’s for a positive reason. For example, you can tell your wife that it might not be a good idea to lend anything to a certain person but he or she is known not to give or pay it back. The same is true with two business partners or the like, one can tell the other that it might not be wise to do business with this certain person because he’s not going to pay you. Even if you don’t know firsthand of this problem but you have heard rumors you can still tell them to be careful because they aren’t allowed to believe what you say, just be concerned and take proper precautions. That being said you should tell them in a way that will make it sound possible and therefore be cautious but not decisive so that they will feel they can actually believe you. An example in Chazal of this type of warning is in Kiddushin 52b where the students of Rebbe Meir was warned not to enter a certain area because people might start up with them. The Chofetz Chaim bemoans that many people confuse this halacha and talks about his day with his wife including about people that started up with him in yeshiva or work. Besides the lashon hara being said your wife will most likely take it to heart and will start to not treat this person and his family nicely and she might not only belittle the person who started up with you but she might look down upon you and start making fun of you after a while. This is based on an Avos diRebbe Nosson 7:3 which says that you shouldn’t talk too much with your wife which refers to not telling her all that happened to you during your day because it will just cause fights and she will look down upon the person who started up with you and will look down upon you as well. Even if she will find out eventually what happened you shouldn’t say anything because the victim tends to exaggerate.

Halacha 11: No difference who you speak in front of whether it’s a non-relative or even a relative, a brother should not even talk about another brother in front of his parents unless he rebuked him first and the brother didn’t listen, or he knows the brother won’t listen to him but might listen to his parent to change his bad ways. We know this from the case of Yosef and his brothers. Yosef was punished measure for measure for speaking lashon hara about his brothers to his father, even though he did it so that their father will rebuke them. And although he got it wrong and really, they were doing nothing wrong so he was punished for not looking more into the matter. However, the Chofetz Chaim says it’s true that even for bad things your siblings really did you shouldn’t run to your parents to tattletale if you can fix the issue yourself.

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Torah Riddles #195

 2. Question: For allowing a woman to get remarried why is a person reliable even if he only saw the dead guy by the light of a candle or the moon at night but if a non-Jew or Jew would say that they saw a dead guy at night by the light of the candle or moon and he was just speaking masiach lifi tumo he is not believed?

Background:

A. The Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer 17:22) says that when you look at the body to recognize it in order to testify about it, one can even check and see it at night by the light if a candle or the light if the moon.

B. The Pischei Teshuva (91) is in fact in doubt whether a person who while just telling over a story happens to have mentioned (unintentionally), mesiach lifi tumo, happens to say he saw a man killed or dead when he was walking at night, by the light of a candle or the light if the moon.

  Answer: If a person is testifying he is trusted to be sure to get a good look at the body. But if he is just telling a story, even though masiach lifi tumo is normally believed but because of the circumstances it was dark maybe he didn’t pay close enough attention and he saw wrong.

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Torah Riddles Test #194

1. Question: For allowing a woman to get remarried why can you testify that a man died if he fell into a pit of snakes and scorpions but if he fell into a lion’s den you can’t testify he died unless you saw him die?

Background:

 A. The Beis Shmuel (Even HaEzer 17:29:91) says a pit of snakes and scorpions is narrow but a lion’s den is wide.

 B. The Beis Shmuel also says that you should not rely on a miracle like what happened to Daniel in the lion’s den.

  Answer: Maybe the lions weren’t hungry so they didn’t eat him. But by the snakes and scorpions because of the squishy area and the man is on top of the snakes and scorpions they will bite.  


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Sefer Chofetz Chaim chapter 8 halacha 9

There is a very ancient decree and excommunication on those who speak lashon hara about the dead. Whether the person was a simpleton and all the more so if he was a sage. Insulting and degrading a sage himself is bad all the more so if talking badly about the Torah thoughts he has spoken or written about.

There are many times in Shas and the poskim that they insult each other, and the Chavas Yair explains many if the examples in Shas of why it’s not lashon hara or insulting each other. For example, Rav Sheshes told Rav it sounds like you were just dozing off and sleeping. He wasn’t saying this as an insult, on the contrary it was a praise because normally Rav was very sharp and it must have been that if he missed something he must have fallen asleep. Another example is when Rebbe said to Levi that it seems you have no brains in your skull. Now, Levi was a student of Rebbe and Rebbe was rebuking his student to work and think harder. The Rambam and Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 246:11) learn from here that a Rebbe should speak harshly to his students if he is feeling it will encourage and inspire them to work harder, not out of anger or haughtiness, but rather a drive to make sure they toughen up if it looks like they are being lazy.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim chapter 8 halacha 8

Based on a Yerushalmi in Peah 1:1 which the Smag brings down in his mitzvos and the Hghos Maimoni mentions but the Rif, Rosh, and Rambam leave out so the Chofetz Chaim just says this is according to one opinion, that it is permissible to speak lashon hara about an argument ensuing but only if the purpose of speaking lashon hara is to diffuse the argument by applying pressure to one side or both sides to break up the fight.

The source of this is by King David when he appointed Shlomo to take over the kingship and Adoniyahu started a fight vying for the kingship. Someone told King David about it and he immediately diffused the argument. Also, Moshe sent a messenger to Dasan and Aviram who started a rebellion and the messenger reported back to Moshe in order to squelch the argument. But it might be there that because there was already a rebellion ensuing then obviously the messenger could tell Moshe. But we see from here that the messenger of the court can report back even lashon hara to the court in order to enforce order.

But there are 3 conditions before speaking lashon hara:

1. You have to have seen the argument ensuing first hand or if you just heard of it second hand you have to have clarified the truth to be sure there is really and argument ensuing.

2. Your purpose for speaking out, and maybe even taking sides must be only good intentions, to break up the fight, but you can’t say anything if it’s said out of hatred.

3. If there is a way to break up the fight without speaking lashon hara, for example approaching them and rebuking them that is better unless it will stoke the coals and worsen the fight.

 However, one has to be very very very careful to thoroughly and clearly go through the matter to make sure you are clear what is happening before taking sides and speaking out in order to order to pressure the argument to stop because even if one step was overlooked it could change everything and backfire. 

Especially if the one talking out is a rabbi of clout, it can cause a big chillul Hashem, besides the lashon hara, and making the matter worse so in that case it’s better to just be passive, stay quiet and don’t act.
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Naso – A Recharge of Torah Fundamentals


At the end of this week’s Torah portion of Naso the head of each tribe brought the same package of offerings for the dedication of the Mishkan. This wasn’t just a sacrifice of animals and incense, there was a much deeper meaning behind the specific way each part was given.
The Medrish Rabba (Bamidbar 14:22) goes into great detail about what each part of the sacrifice symbolized. For example, “One spoon (handful) [weighing] ten [shekels] of gold filled with incense” (Bamdibar 7:14). “One spoonful” or really a handful symbolized that out of everyone Hashem only chose the Jewish People as it says, “My dove, my perfect one, is but one; she is one to her mother, she is the pure one of she who bore her” (Shir Hashirim 6:9). For this reason, they are most praiseworthy than all the other nations as it writes there, “Daughters saw her and praised her, queens and concubines, and they lauded her” (Shir Hashirim 6:9), this refers to the other nations of the world [praising the Jews]. Why did Hashem choose them from all the other nations? Because all the other nations invalidated the Torah and did not want to accept it and did not choose in Hashem and His Torah which is five books that are represented by the five fingers of a hand. And [The Jews] accepted the Ten Commandments at Sinai that is what “One spoon (handful) [weighing] ten [shekels] of gold” symbolizes.
Another part of the offering was, “And for the peace offering: two oxen” (Bamidbar 7:17). This symbolizes that Hashem gave the Jewish people two Torahs, one written and one oral. He gave the Written Torah which has in it 613 mitzvos in order to fill them with mitzvos and merits as it says, “He Hashem desires [this] for His righteousness’ sake; He magnifies the Torah and strengthens it” (Yeshayahu 42:21). He gave them the Oral Torah to be more adept in it than all the other nations, and for this reason He did not give it to them written down; so that the rest of the world would not forge it, just as they did with the written Torah.”

The Anaf Yosef gives an incredible insight into why Hashem gave us so many mitzvos in the written Torah in order to fill us with mitzvos and merits. As Chaza”l say in a number of places, “Hashem wanted to bring merit to the Jews etc. as it says ‘He Hashem desires [this] for His righteousness’ sake’. The intent in this is because not everyone thinks alike rather each person might have more of an inkling for a specific mitzva over all the other mitzvos, and if there were only a few mitzvos then not every person would merit those mitzvos. Therefore, [Hashem gave us 613 mitzvos] out of the kindness of Hashem, in order to give merit and bring much righteousness to the Jews by fulfilling Torah and mitzvos in order so that there won’t be a Jew who won’t have a drive for even one mitzva of the 613 mitzvos, to try to fulfill it properly in order to merit a life in the World to Come. For even the empty ones of the Jewish people are full of mitzvos like a pomegranate. This is what the Rambam meant in his commentary on the Mishna that one of our main beliefs in Torah is that when a person fulfills a specific mitzva of the 613 mitzvos in order and properly, and he does not include in it any intent at all from the outside world, rather he does for Hashem’s sake out of love he merits a life in the World to Come.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

G-D forbid to say that we don’t have to keep all the mitzvos! The Torah is the blueprint of creation and the handbook for mankind. It was given to us for our own sake and for the sake of the upkeep of the entire world. However, Hashem created each person in his and her own unique way, with unique tendencies, interests, and motivations. Some people like music, others athletics, some like dissecting, others are more into deep-thinking etc. Every single person has their own unique drives and talents. Hashem specifically made each person in this fashion in order to have the ability to excel and become experts at what they are inclined towards.

With that in mind, of course Hashem expects us to fulfill the entire Torah to the best of our ability; however, He gives us the opportunity to become an expert and excel in the mitzva one is most naturally inclined to do. For example, if a person likes dissecting, he might want to become  a shochet.

Hashem specifically made so many varieties of mitzvos, some that are easier than others, some that come more naturally than others, that even one who is not Torah observant might still be filled with mitzvos. For example, many people love doing acts of kindness, and chesed is a positive mitzva. Or most people don’t like eating bugs and rodents, so by staying away from eating them then you are not transgressing negative mitzvos. How easy is that!

But to easily ensure a share in the World to Come one just has to put his mind into what he knows how to do best, his favorite mitzva; become an expert at it and do it with all the right intentions, for the sake of Hashem out of pure love and you are guaranteed a share in Heaven.

It’s as easy as that! You just have to put your mind and heart into it.

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Bamidbar – Why Moshe Rabbeinu Was So Special

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The Book of Bamidbar begins: “And Hashem spoke to Moshe in the Sinai Desert, in the Tent of Meeting on the first day of the second month, in the second year after the exodus from the land of Egypt, saying” (Bamidbar 1:1). There is a very concise but telling Medrish in the beginning of this week’s Torah portion of Bamidbar. “Another interpretation, ‘And Hashem spoke to Moshe,’ It’s a praise for Moshe that 600,000 [Men] were standing [at Mount Sinai] and the Kohanim, and Leviim, and Elders were standing there, and from all of them He didn’t speak to besides Moshe” (Bamidbar Rabba 1:6).

The Etz Yosef explains why the Medrish points out that Moshe is praised here for it is because the pasuk writes ‘in the Desert of Sinai’ where all the Jews were standing nevertheless [Hashem] spoke only with him, and this is his praiseworthiness and his praise, that he was chosen from everyone else because of the level he was on. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The Maharz”u  points out that by the 600,000 men it just states “standing,” meaning from a distance but by the Kohanim, Leviim, and Elders the medrish says “standing there,” indicating that they were standing close to Moshe and around the Mishkan, and yet Moshe was the only one spoken to by Hashem.
The Maharz”u also references the first Medrish Rabba in the beginning of the Book of Vayikra, which goes into more detail of why the fact that Hashem only spoke directly with Moshe Rabbeinu was such great praise: “Rebbe Tanchum the son of Chanilai said that it is the nature in this world that a package which is hard for one to carry, is easier for two to carry. If two can’t carry it than four probably can. Does it make sense then that a package which is hard for 600,000 is easy for one? All the Jews were standing by Har Sinai and saying, ‘if we continue to hear [the voice of the Lord, our God, anymore, we will die] (Devarim 5:22). Moshe heard the voice of speech Itself and lived. Proof that this is so, for from everyone [Hashem] only called on Moshe, that is why it says, ‘And He called unto Moshe’” (Vayikra Rabba 1:1).

The Etz Yosef explains the greatness of Moshe Rabbeinu, that the intent of the medrish is to logically deduce that the coming together of those of perfection should add to the strength of their perfection, amounting to more than what they originally had. Therefore since there were 600,000 together at Har Sinai there should have been a greater amount of perfection to prepare themselves to accept the G-Dly influence there. But because they said, “‘if we continue to hear etc.” it seems the power of all of them together wasn’t enough to be able to hear the “voice” of Hashem, yet Moshe Rabbeinu had the strength by himself, more than all of them put together. (Click Here for Hebrew text.)
Granted this was a unique feat, but why did the medrish feel it was worthwhile to emphasize and praise? If you want to praise Moshe isn’t it better to praise him for being the humblest person ever, or the most G-D fearing, as we see that he told the Jewish people at the end of his life that Hashem only asks of them to fear Him. What does only ask of them mean? Fearing Hashem isn’t so easy! But Chaza”l say that for Moshe Rabbeinu it was. Or maybe the care and love Moshe had for each individual should have been worthwhile to emphasize and praise, so what is the praise here?

However, it would seem that the Medrish is alluding to something that is mentioned in the beginning of the first chapter of Mesillas Yesharim, “The foundation of piety and the root of perfect service [of G-d] is for a man to clarify and come to realize as truth what is his obligation in his world and to what he needs to direct his gaze and his aspiration in all that he toils all the days of his life. Behold, what our sages, of blessed memory, have taught us is that man was created solely to delight in G-d and to derive pleasure in the radiance of the Shechina (Divine Presence). For this is the true delight and the greatest pleasure that can possibly exist. The place of this pleasure is, in truth, in Olam Haba (the World to Come). For it was created expressly for this purpose.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

It is true that Olam Haba is ultimately the place where one will get the full delight in G-D and derive the most complete radiance from His Shechina. However Moshe Rabbeinu got closer than anyone else in this world before he went to Olam Haba and for that reason, that he was able to fulfill the ultimate purpose and goal in existence better than anyone else, he deserved specifically that praise the medrish is emphasizing.

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Torah Riddles Test #193

 2.      Question: Why can’t the view that holds we eat milk products on Shavuos because the Jews didn’t have checked sharp knives right after the Torah was given to properly slaughter animals, hold that Hashem gave us the Torah on Shabbos?

Background:

A.     The medrish Pirkei diRebbe Eliezer (46) holds the Torah was given on Shabbos the gemara in Shabbos 86b holds it was given on erev Shabbos.

B.      A knife has to be checked for no nicks to be sure there is a smoothe cut by the shechita. As soon as Hashem gave the Torah and obligated us in all the mitzvos at matan Torah which is Shavuos they didn’t have any kosher knives to use that day to slaughter animals, so in commemoration we have a custom to eat milchig on Shavuos.

 Answer: If Hashem gave us the Torah on shabbos we couldn’t anyways slaughter because of shabbos so there would be nothing special to commemorate. (See Dirshu Mishna Berura 494 footnote 18)

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Torah Riddles #192

1.      Question: Why is one allowed to accept Yom Tov early on Shavuos, before sunset?

 Background:

A. On Shavuos we make it a point to daven maariv and say Kiddush once it is completely dark in order so that 49 complete days have passed in the omer as the Torah says should happen before the onset of Shavuos.

B. Rav Nissim Karelitz said that if you take on yom tov early only regarding stopping doing melacha that does not take away from the 49 complete days needed.

  Answer: Since that time is still considered the 49th day of the omer, it’s just that it’s forbidden to do melacha because of Tosefes yom tov, therefore it’s not really recognizable that you are impeding on the day rather you are just passively not working (See Dirshu Mishna Berura 494 footnote 2).  


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Sefer Chofetz Chaim chapter 8 halacha 7

If a person Is known to be a “bad guy” then you are allowed to speak lashon hara against him in order keep others away from him and not learn from his ways and hopefully he might repent as well if he sees so many people speaking out against him. Just be sure to say this lashon hara only for the sake of spreading the truth not to benefit, be it fame or fortune, when spreading this lashon hara, neither out if hatred for the guy.

What is considered a rasha status, a “bad guy” status? It is a person that habitually or many times committed a sin that everyone knows is wrong, like murder, adultery, or robbery, and even if it’s a minor sin, like a rabbinic prohibition, for example the gemara in Shabbos 40a discusses a case where the rabbis enacted that people cannot go into a sauna on Shabbos because people used to take hot baths on Shabbos from water heated up from before Shabbos and then it was discovered that bath house attendants use that the water on Shabbos so the rabbis forbade it then people use to make believe they went to saunas on Shabbos really going to the bathhouse so that became forbidden too. Rava said that whoever disobeys this enactment is a rasha and people could spread lashon hara about him. Because everyone knew about this enactment and people still disobeyed then lashon hara can be said against them to be sure no one else follows suit but a person who is in a habit of committing non-famous sins then know can say lashon hara about him because maybe he just doesn’t know any better. This person must be known throughout the city as a “bad guy” not just rumors and you can’t exaggerate more then what you know he does. Bottom line honesty and for the sake of truth is the key.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes that even though this halacha might create an excuse for those who constantly speak lashon hara to brand others wicked and have an excuse to spread more lashon hara but he still felt he must write down this halacha for the sake of the truth and he quoted a verse in Hoshea14:10 “For the ways of Hashem are straight and the righteous walk within them and the sinners stumble within them.”