Author: Rabbi Milder

Posted on

Shavuos: Megillas Rus – No Excuses but to Trust

On Shavuos we read Megillas Rus. We see the total dedication Rus had for her mother-in-law, Naomi and Judaism. When they returned to Israel the Torah says:

And they both went on until they arrived to Bethlehem. And it came to pass when they arrived to Bethlehem, that the entire city was astir on their account, and they said, “Is this Naomi?” יטוַתֵּלַ֣כְנָה שְׁתֵּיהֶ֔ם עַד־בּוֹאָ֖נָה בֵּ֣ית לָ֑חֶם וַיְהִ֗י כְּבוֹאָ֨נָה֙ בֵּ֣ית לֶ֔חֶם וַתֵּהֹ֤ם כָּל־הָעִיר֙ עֲלֵיהֶ֔ן וַתֹּאמַ֖רְנָה הֲזֹ֥את נָֽעֳמִֽי:
Rashi on the pasuk points out: “that the entire city was astir: The entire city became astir. They had gathered to bury Boaz’s wife, who had died on that very day.”
 
The Sifsei Chachamim at the end of this Rashi references, “And in Masecehes Bava Basra Rashi explains that this pasuk is coming to teach us that Hashem creates the medication before the ailment, and a person should trust in Hashem.”		 וַתֵּהֹם כָּל הָעִיר: נַעֲשֵׂית הוֹמִיָּה כָל הָעִיר. כֻּלָּם נִתְקַבְּצוּ לִקְבֹּר אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל בֹּעַז שֶׁמֵּתָה בּוֹ בַיּוֹם:

The Gemara in Bava Basra 91a referenced says:
וְאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם שֶׁבָּאת רוּת הַמּוֹאֲבִיָּה לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל מֵתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל בֹּעַז וְהַיְינוּ דְּאָמְרִי אִינָשֵׁי עַד דְּלָא שָׁכֵיב שִׁיכְבָא קָיְימָא מְנוּ בַיְיתֵיהּ
And Rabbi Yitzḥak also says with regard to this passage: That very day when Rus the Moabite came to Eretz Yisrael, the wife of Boaz died, i.e., from the moment of their arrival the possibility was created for Ruth’s eventual marriage to Boaz. This explains the adage that people say: Before the deceased dies, the person who will next be in charge of his house arises, as in this case Boaz’s new wife, Ruth, arrived as his previous wife died. (Click here for Gemara text.)
Rus just happened to have come with Naomi into Bethlehem the same day as Boaz’s wife passed away and she was being buried. This was no coincidence. Rashi in Bava basra points out that we learn from this juncture that Hashem brings the medication  before the ailment, and one should always have trust in Hashem. For we see in this case that before Boaz’s wife passed away, the one who was appointed and ready to take over her household was arriving to take her place (for Rus eventually married Boaz later in the megillah).

The obvious question is why does Rashi seem to say that only because Hashem provides the means to heal before the problem arises should a person have trust in Hashem? Shouldn’t a person always have trust in the All Mighty, All Powerful, All Merciful G-D who can do anything at any time and any place without anyone or anything stopping Him? One should have trust in Hashem whether He creates the medication before the ailment or whether the source of healing comes about only after the problem arises. Either way, we should trust in Hashem that Hashem is only out for our good and will do the best for us?!

It would seem that if Hashem would not have set up this system in which He guarantees the solution comes before the problem, then a person might have a valid excuse to not have proper bitachon, faith in Hashem, because the predicament that he or she is facing might be too overwhelming, making it extremely difficult to trust that Hashem will work things out for the best. However, Hashem in His ultimate mercy and graciousness set up a system to give no excuse to not believe in Him. The fact that Hashem guarantees the solution is already out there even before the problem arises should be a comfort to one who is suffering, as long as they choose to trust in it.

Good Shabbos and yom tov,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

Posted on

Torah Riddles #228

 Question: Why can one forgive a loan on Shabbos if there is a rabbinic prohibition against doing business on Shabbos?

Background:

 A. The Mishna Berura (306:6:33) says that business is forbidden on shabbos whether it is just verbally or by actually handing over something, as a rabbinic ordinance lest one might come to write on Shabbos. It is also forbidden to give a gift to a friend because it is like business since there is a transfer of ownership. However the Rabbis permitted a gift to be given if it can be used on Shabbos or Yom Tov.

 B. Business usually involves an acquisition in which people write up documents as proof that an acquisition was made from one person to another.

Answer: The Dirshu footnote says in the name of Rav Elyashiv that forgiveness of a loan does not need any acquisition therefore it is absolutely permitted on Shabbos. The Responsa Torah Lishma adds that forgiving a loan is unlike business since it is only a removal of a debt. It is a passive act which does not need to lead to any active actions. But one should not do it in front of witnesses because that would be under the category of uvda di’chol, doing mundane things on Shabbos.

Posted on

Bamidbar – Kavod Shamayim

This dvar Torah is dedicated in memory of  Mr. Nathaniel Hoffman a”h, Avraham Nesanel Ben Yerachmiel, one of the first participants in CITE programming. Yehi zichro baruch!

This week we begin the 4th book of the Torah, Sefer Bamidbar. The parsha starts off saying, “Hashem spoke to Moshe in the Wilderness of Sinai, in the Tent of Meeting etc.” The Medrish Tanchuma (3) points out that before the Mishkan was erected Hashem spoke to Moshe by the burning bush, in Midian, Egypt, and at Sinai. After the Mishkan was assembled Hashem said “better is modesty,” as it says in Micha (6:8) “You shall walk with Hashem your G-D with modesty.” Hashem then started talking to Moshe from then on inside of the Tent of Meeting. A similar pasuk is quoted from King Dovid’s Tehillim (45:14), “All the honor of the daughter of a king is found inside, more than the studded gold she is wearing.” 
The medrish goes on to address the pristine quality of modesty and how this pasuk refers to the relationship Moshe and Aharon had with Hashem after the Mishkan was built. Hashem was saying that ‘My honor is enhanced when Moshe talks with Me in private.’ The medrish then goes on to discuss a statement Rebbe Yehoshua ben Levi made, which needs clarification, of what the connection was to what we have been saying. Why is it brought at this juncture?

“Rebbe Yehoshua ben Levi said, if the nations of the world would have known the value the Beis Hamikdash had for them, they would have built fortresses around it in order to protect it. For it was more valuable to them then it was for the Jews. For this is what Shlomo [the king and architect of the first Beis Hamikdash] declared in his prayers, ‘And also a gentile who is not of your people Israel, but will come from a distant land for Your namesake… they will come and pray toward this Temple, may You hear from Heaven, the foundation of Your abode, and act according to all that the gentile has called unto You’ (Melachim Alef 8:41-43.) But when he came to the Jews, what does it write? ‘And recompense every man according to his ways as You know his heart’ (Divrei Hayamim Beis 6:30). Shlomo said, Master Of The World, if he deserves it give it to him, and if he doesn’t then don’t give it to him.”

The Etz Yosef explains the difference between the gentiles and the Jews: “Since a Jew recognize Hashem and knows He has the ability, and if his prayers aren’t answered he blames it on himself and his sins. But a gentile will complain of injustice and say, ‘I traveled very hard on many roads to pray inside this world-renowned Temple and I didn’t find anything special about it just like idolatry is nothing special.’ Therefore [Shlomo asked Hashem] and You shall do all that the gentile asks from You.”

The medrish concludes that one shouldn’t say that only the Beis Hamikdash was better for the gentiles, but also if not for the Jews rain would not fall in the world, and the sun would not rise. For in their merit the rain falls, and Hashem causes the sun to shine in this world. In the future the nations will see how Hashem clings to the Jews, and they will come to cling to them, as it says in Zachariah (9:23): “We will walk with you for we heard G-D is with you.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
It appears that these gentiles are clearly drawn towards Hashem and inspired to beseech Him. They are willing to make long, treacherous journeys just to behold and make supplication at the Holy Temple, the center of the world. They seem to have a very high level and belief in the true and only G-D because why else take the risks and spend all that money and time on something so esoteric? But if that is indeed the case, why should they be treated any differently than us Jews who also have a strong belief in Hashem but at times might question why does it feel our prayers are never answered?

However, if you analyze the medrish carefully, the lesson that we learn, which is the connection between the first half and second half of the medrish, is that what’s most important in the existence of the world is for the sake of Hashem’s honor. The more honor given to Him the greater Kiddush Hashem, sanctification of Hashem’s Holy name there is. So, just as when done modestly and privately, Moshe speaking with Hashem inside the Mishkan was a great honor to Him, so too, in order to enhance Hashem’s honor, it was worth it for Hashem to answer all of the gentiles’ prayers that come to pray to Him at the Beis Hamikdash. This was done so that they will realize that Hashem is the only true G-D who is all-powerful and can do anything, even if they don’t deserve it. Yet it would seem in regard to the Jews it would be a greater honor to Hashem for Him to answer their prayers only when each individual has earned the right and deserves it. This is because there are more expectations on Hashem’s children who are His servants and were given a handbook, the Torah. They are expected to live by it, so by listening to Hashem and earning the right for their prayers to be answered they are creating a greater Kiddush Hashem, kavod Shamayim, which is the ultimate purpose of creation.

The Jewish people are on such a lofty level that living up to those expectations are in and of themselves a greater honor to Hashem. And because we understand that we have a responsibility to live up to these standards and responsibilities it makes sense that our prayers will not be answered every time and it’s upon us to improve and better ourselves for the sake of the Honor of Heaven.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

Posted on

Torah Riddles #227

Question: Why can and should a doctor accept payment for treating on Shabbos but a chazzan cannot be paid for davening on Shabbos, it must be part of an annual or monthly salary?

Background:

A.      The Mishna Berura (306:5:24) Say it is forbidden to hire a chazzan to pray on Shabbos, but some allow it, but if his salary is for the year or for the month everyone agrees it is permissible. Those that said you can’t are because you can’t take wages on Shabbos. Those that say you can are because for a mitzvah you can, the rabbis didn’t make any decrees against it but you won’t see any blessing coming from the money earned on Shabbos… But a doula definitely is permitted to take wages for Shabbos.

B.      In Dirshu footnote 21 the Steipler says that even if a doctor does not want to take money for his work on Shabbos it should still be given to him, at least as a gift.

C.      The Pri Megadim says the reason one can take wages for healing is because he is being paid for saving one’s life. But it is still for a mitzvah so why is it different than a Chazzan davening. They are both permitted to do what they do on Shabbos, but one should take payment for what he did on Shabbos and the other shouldn’t technically?

Answer: Healing isn’t just permitted on Shabbos to save a life, it pushes off Shabbos, so once Shabbos is pushed off then it’s permitted to charge, especially since if he does not accept payment this time he might not heal or be lazy to do his job next time on Shabbos and for life and death we’ll do pretty much anything to save a potential life in danger. But a chazzan, though what he is doing is a mitzva by leading the minyan in davening but he is not pushing off Shabbos, so the rabbinic prohibition of accepting wages for Shabbos is still prohibited according to this opinion and certainly will not see any blessing.

Posted on

Behar & Bechukosai – Emulating Hashem by Learning the Depth of Torah


The second parsha of this week’s Torah portions of Behar and Bechukosai, which are the conclusion of Sefer Vayikra begins, “If you will follow My decrees and observe My mitzvos and perform them” (Vayikra 26:3).
The Sforno commenting on “observe My mitzvos”: “Behold the keeping of mitzvos is watching over them in a way that they perform them and understand their intent. This can only be done with in-depth clarity, as Chazal say [in a Sifri (Re’eh 77)] keeping it is learning it. If you say that this is the case then if you act in the ways of Hashem which includes the part of the actions of His Torah, and you go into depths of the profundity of the mitzvos, to know how to perform them and what is here their purpose, in this way you will perfect His intent of them being created in the image of Hashem and His likeness.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
It sounds from this Sforno that the only way to perfect ourselves as tzelem Elokim, people who were created in the image of Hashem, is by learning Torah b’iyun, in great depth and then applying what we learn. Why is great depth needed to be considered walking in His ways, emulating Hashem, and perfecting the purpose of one’s existence?

There are two parts of Torah learning, iyun and bekius, depth and breadth. The expanse or breadth of Torah is so vast, and of course Hashem perfectly knows it; so why isn’t that emphasized as or at least part of perfecting one’s image of Hashem, to help one emulate His Creator? Just as Hashem knows the breadth of Torah in its entirety, because He is the All Knowing and author of the Torah; so too, we should know every aspect of it in its entirety so what is the stress the Sforno has on the depth of Torah, the iyun aspect, the profundity?

It must be that delving into the depths if of Torah is the main way of emulating Hashem and completing our perfection as a tzelem Elokim, our quality over animals that we were made in Hashem’s likeness, in terms of Torah learning. A proof that iyun is the main learning that emulates Hashem is a famous statement quoted from the Zohar in parshas Teruma הסתכל באורייתא וברא עלמא “Hashem gazed in the Torah and created the world.” The word for ‘gaze’ in Hebrew is ‘histakel,’ which connotes staring, focusing. He didn’t just look into the Torah and create the world; there was a focus, a concentration into the inner working of the Torah, in order to create the world. This is similarly expressed in the Medrish Rabba in Breishis (1:1, 3:5 and 64:8) multiple times where it says Hashem was engrossed in the Torah in order to create the world. The word engrossed in Hebrew is ‘osek,’ the same term that we use every day in the blessing for learning Torah. This word connotes a focus and concentration into the study of Torah, which is only done through in-depth learning. Therefore, it must be that in order to create the world Hashem didn’t just peruse through the Torah at a glance of its breadth but delved deep into the depths of Torah in order to draw out the perfect world from these manuscripts.

What we learn from here is that in-depth learning isn’t important just because it will give more clarity towards serving Hashem using His handbook for mankind. But it’s also the means of perfecting ourselves and using the gift, our soul, the tzelem Elokim in the best manner possible and is the best way to be able to emulate Hashem, since He did the same thing when using the blueprints of creation to create the world.

It is also important to learn bekius, the breadth or expanse of Torah too in order to gain a well-rounded education of Torah knowledge becuase that will help with understanding the profubdity and depth of the Torah, but we see here a clear message of the significance and magnitude of learning b’iyun, the depth of Torah knowledge.

Posted on

Sefer Chofetz Chaim appendix halachos 9-11 & conclusion of Sefer Chofetz Chaim

 We have concluded Sefer Chofetz Chaim with all of his Be’er Mayim Chaim footnotes. Yasher Koach, it’s been glorious learning the whole entire time! Next week we are starting the mussar sefer, Maalos Hamidos, considered a classic but not as well known.

Halacha 9: Up until this point The Chofetz Chaim was talking about shidduchim in the stage of dating or pre-dating, while still researching. Now, once a couple is already engaged is a whole different story. In terms of a person realizing thatvthe perspective father in law of the guy is not planning on following through with the conditions of support that he agreed with the chosson if you find out about this then you can tell the chosson only if you know that chosson won’t automatically break up the engagement but rather will only be concerned with what you say and seek advice and research about what to do or will go to a Jewish Court for assistance. However, if he will act on his own you can’t tell him anything even if you meet all the conditions because you can’t allow him to do something that would not be done in court. The court would not break up the shidduch, ruin the girl, on account of her father. They would enforce the tannaim, conditions of support that was officially agreed upon or at least settle with some compromise. You also have to be sure the guy isn’t hiding anything on his end either. Furthermore, there are many times when you might hear something but it’s a threat or an exaggeration. For example, there is a gemara in Shavuos daf 46a about, for example, Reuvain told Shimon I am going to cut down Levi’s tree. Shimon can only tell Levi that in order so that he can protect his tree, his property but if Levi will go and hurt Reuvain then Shimon cannot say anything because people get angry or what not and say things they don’t mean and then regret what they said and do Teshuva immediately. This doesn’t only apply to a sin between man and Hashem, that one should assume he repents and you cannot speak lashon hara about him, but even in this case where he does not owe any money yet, he didn’t steal anything or the like, the future father in law just threatened to not live up to what he promised, it’s very possible it’s just a threat and nothing more so you can’t say anything if the guy will break off the marriage without seeking advice.

Halacha 10:  However in a case where you know the girl has a medical condition that can’t be seen from the outside and the guy doesn’t know about it then even after the engagement you can tell him, and you don’t need to be two witnesses, because a Jewish court would break up an engagement even if one person testified of health issues in this case. But of course you have to meet all the conditions spoken in chapter 9 halacha 2 of hilchos rechilus. If you only heard second hand of the medical conditions, then you shouldn’t say anything unless you know for sure the guy won’t break off the engagement before researching. Because many times once there is a stigma, even if it’s just rumors it messes up the relationship. Either way you should say “I heard ” she has a certain medical issue, and the guy can look into it. Himself.

Halacha 11: However, if you know about the girl that she comes from an immodest home, pritzus, or the guy has views antithetical of basic Torah belief, apikorsus, then even after the engagement you can relay this information to either side without any conditions and if they break up they break up. If you only hear second hand you have to say you only heard second hand and they should do their own research, same as before, no difference.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes that he could give more examples in business, hiring workers, etc. But he has said enough and there is not much more time available to elaborate. But in conclusion: “The rule is, a person must focus his eyes and his heart on his ways, specifically on what comes out of his mouth, so that one won’t get.

involved in other people’s matters unless you truthfully know the issue clearly from the start. And one also must intend only to help the cause and not to speak out of hatred. Also, to see the ramifications of what you are about to say to be sure you don’t G-d forbid speak to much, outside the fence of halacha. Only then will one be at the point where he has escaped the trap of the yetzer hara. May The Rock Of Israel save us from mistakes and show us insights from His incredible Torah. Blessed is Hashem forever amen and amen!” We have concluded the second part of Sefer Chofetz Chaim.

Posted on

Torah Riddles #226

Question: According to Rashi (Brachos 48b) why should a man with only a rabbinic obligation to say Birkas hamazon because he only ate a kazayis of bread, is allowed to lead a zimun but a child who also has a rabbinic obligation to say Birkas hamazon (even if he eats to satiation) cannot lead a zimun?

Background:

A. The Torah obligation for Birkas hamazon is eating to the point of satiation as the Torah in Devarim 8:10 says, “And you shall eat and you shall be satisfied and you shall bless Hashem.”

B. The father has an obligation of chinuch to teach his children how to do mitzvos like bentching after eating bread.

 Answer: The rabbinic mitzvah for a child to say Birkas hamazon is an obligation through the father, not his own mitzvah, therefore he cannot really lead a zimun. But the rabbinic mitzvah of one who ate a kazayis of bread is his own mitzvah therefore he is able to lead others who even have a Torah level obligation of Birkas hamazon, in a zimun.

Posted on

Emor – The Thrill of Counting Up

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.

We are living in the times of the Omer, counting up to Shavuos, Kabalas HaTorah. The day we as a nation, a people, received Hashem’s precious gift of the Torah.
This week’s Torah portion of Emor discusses all the Yom Tovim throughout the year. In regard to the Omer and Shavuos the Torah says, “And you shall count for yourselves, from the morrow of the rest day from the day you bring the omer as a wave  offering seven weeks; they shall be complete” (Vayikra 23:15).
The Bechor Shor comments on this pasuk, “’You shall count 50 days’ for the honor of the Torah, Hashem commanded to count. It similar to a parable about a person who was locked up in jail. One of the king’s servants sent him a message that on such and such a day the king will release him and give him his daughter, the princess in marriage. The guy was skeptical. After the king released him, the guy said to himself, ‘If he fulfilled his word to release me, the king will for sure fulfill giving me his daughter.’ He started counting each day until day 50 and the king gave him his daughter. So to when Hashem spoke to Moshe saying ‘go and take My nation, the Children of Israel out of Egypt, and He said when you will take the nation from Egypt you will serve me on this mountain, and give them the Torah.’ And Moshe told the Jews what he was told and they did not listen to Moshe because of the hard work they had. They said, ‘We don’t believe we will be taken out of the servitude of Egypt even if He gives us the Torah.’ Then when the Jews were taken out, they started to count when He will give them the Torah. And He then gives it to Bnei Yisroel at the end of 50 days from leaving [Egypt]. Hashem then commanded that they should count every year to make dear and increase the love of the Torah upon them, that He gave them a precious tool which He created the world with. This is what [the B’chor Shor says] I heard from my father zt”l.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

Why does Hashem command us to count the omer to increase our love for the Torah; how does that help? The omer is a mitzvah for everyone. If a person is learning Torah in yeshiva and is getting into his learning and enjoying his learning every day, or even if he is not in yeshiva but he sets aside time to learn and looks forward to that learning every day, what does counting the omer add? Furthermore, if we know it is a gift from Hashem and it is super powerful because it’s what Hashem Himself used to create the world, isn’t that knowledge enough to excite us and make us feel a tremendous love for the Torah?

 It would seem that an annual “count down,” or really count up, is a way to further enhance one’s love and endearment. Every added ounce of love for the Torah gets one closer to Hashem, the amount of potential love is infinite. Therefore, if one understands and has the proper mindset then the Omer can be a thrilling time that will enhance one’s love for Torah more than what one has presently.

Posted on

Sefer Chofetz Chaim appendix halachos 6-8

There are 2 types of major problems that if someone knows about a shidduch he should tell the other side before they start going out, even if they are not confronted about it. 1. If the guy has a physical ailment, disease etc. a serious medical issue. Not just that he is physically a weak person because many yeshiva bachurim are physically weaker, for example. Chazal say Torah learning weakens a person physically. But a serious illness which the other side does not know about which can’t be seen from the outside should be told to the girl or boy’s side if you know they will listen and not go through with the shidduch. Or at least ask a question of advice to someone before taking the next step. Of course one has to meet all the prerequisites:

A. First see if the ailment is really a problem, not that he or she is just frail.

B. Don’t exaggerate the problem more than it is.

C. Give over information to the other party for the sake of helping and only assuming they will heed your advice not because you hate the guy or girl you are talking about. The terms of trying to find another solution before speaking up don’t really apply because they have to be told not to go through with the shidduch if it’s a major concern.

Another major concern that can be shared is whether there are signs of apikorsus. That, even on a very minuscule level there is something wrong with his fundamental belief in Torah Judaism. In that case if you know it’s true then you have an obligation to tell the other side and all rules are off because he is not considered part of “your nation” anymore. If you only hear about this secondhand, then you have to say you heard about this but not sure myself if it’s true so you should be concerned and look into the matter. Just as he himself is only allowed to be concerned and not actually believe it if it’s secondhand knowledge. However, one must be very careful because there is a difference between a lack of belief in the fundamental beliefs of Tofah Judaism and not being fully Torah observant or lacks in some areas of halacha where he is still considered part if “your nation” and speaking out about a lack of Torah observance will most likely result in lashon hara and certainly would need all the prerequisites if somehow it is permitted to be told. The same holds true about the girl’s side, if she or her household seem to be or act grossly immodest then there is no issue of telling the boy about it as long as you know he will not go out or at least ask a question if he should. If he’s going to date her anyways then it lashon hara to tell the boy.

In terms of Torah knowledge, one cannot go over to the girl’s side and tell them the boy isn’t as knowledgeable as you think or is a slow learner etc. However, if they inquire and they have every right to inquire, and back in the day people would have someone test the boy before going out with their daughter. That is fine and the tester has to be honest with the girl’s parents when he reports back. Of course, this would all be within reason. Meaning the standards that a Rabbi or Rosh Yeshiva is expecting for his daughter will probably be higher than a regular layman, so if the layman asks for the a smart guy in the yeshiva, even if he isn’t the top guy then you can still say he is very knowledgeable, but if a Rosh yeshiva asks for the top guy of some other yeshiva and the tester doesn’t say he is not the top guy then there is an issue of dishonesty because there are higher expectations. Also, if the girl’s father is going to be supporting, he wants to support someone of the caliber he is asking for, for his daughter.

One other major issue what if one knows the girl’s father cannot or will not give the support, he claims he will give. Let say for example you know her family is in fact poor, or the father is a miser, or the father even told you he is not going to be giving as much as he promised. Then before telling this to the guy there are 3 conditions that must be met:

 1. Make sure the girl’s father really is trying to trick the boy because there are many times where a person who is not so rich and promises a lot of support is prepared to work very hard to fulfill his promise and this father-in-law can be better than a rich father-in-law.

2. You have to know that the boy would really be uninterested in the shidduch if he finds out he is not getting the support he was expecting. Because if he doesn’t care so much and would marry her anyways, he’ll just get any help he can get from his in-laws then you can’t say anything.

3. You have to make sure the boy isn’t hiding something and tricking the other side also. Of course, you can’t exaggerate the trickery and can’t say it out of hatred just to help. At the end of the day, one has to be very careful and not rush into revealing information, rather thoroughly think through all the facts and information, meat all the conditions and then decide to speak up or not.

Posted on

Acharei Mos/Kedoshim – Tattoos in Jewish Law (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 180)


The Torah in this week’s double portion of Acharei Mos/ Kedoshim mentions in Kedoshim, “You shall not make a cut in your flesh for the dead, and a tattoo shall you not place upon yourselves, I am Hashem” (19:28). The B’chor Shor remarks about tattoos, “that it is one who tears open his flesh and places within the tear dye which he wants to be seen permanently. This is also a statute of idolatry, for they write the name of their idol on their flesh.” Therefore, the pasuk concludes, “‘I am Hashem’ too Great of a King, to do before Me these types of meaningless acts.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The B’chor Shor holds that tattooing is forbidden because it’s the way of the gentiles to tattoo their god onto their bodies, which was supposedly a sign of honor and respect for the god. However, Hashem says that that is belittling to Him, to etch onto one’s body, even if it’s permanently, which shows commitment. If a tattoo would show dedication, commitment and pride towards Hashem, why did Hashem say it’s forbidden?

 If one thinks deeply into what it means and the ramifications of Hashem being the King Of All Kings, Master Of The Universe who created each and every one of us with perfect precision (besides the bris milah which he tactfully left for man to do with reason), and we are the stewards of The King, who represent His Majesty, then it would be demeaning and belittling to deface our bodies, that Hashem has perfectly molded and constructed for us, even if it was with in mind to honor Him.

Imagine someone painted graffiti all over the White House which said, “long live the president!” That wouldn’t be an act of patriotism, it would be defamation. So too, tattooing one’s body even for the sake of Hashem’s honor is belittling the Great King that created us and endowed us with a pure soul to serve Him and represent His Majesty.

In fact, what the Bechor Shor is saying the message of “I am Hashem” in the pasuk is that I am a great king and doing these things in front of me is frivolous. He also said earlier that tattooing is a statute of idol worship for no particular reason, meaning they really weren’t showing pride and commitment by inscribing the name of their god into their flesh it was just a rule they had to follow and we shouldn’t copy the rules of the heathens, but furthermore it’s belittling to the Great King to have people who act in this manner, tattooing themselves with any type of tattoo. There is no basis for it in the Torah, The Great King’s handbook for life and the fad is taken from the outside world, so it’s a frivolous act therefore one shouldn’t copy it. Sticking within the boundaries of halacha, of the way Hashem the Great King wants the world to be run, having His nation serve Him and live life according to His guidance and advice is most productive. Anything else is inconsequential and not the Almighty’s ways, thus forbidden.