The word חבר [chaver; friend] has the same root as the word חיבור [chibur; connection]. The word for learning partner, a חברותא [chavrusa] also, importantly, has the same root letters .ח.ב.ר. The simple explanation for this is that a friendship, such as two study partners, creates a special connection between two people.
The Sifri in this week’s Torah portion of Vayelech expounds on this concept of connection, and what true friendship really is all about.
The Torah states: “Hashem spoke to Moshe, ‘Behold your days are drawing near to die; summon Yehoshua and both of you shall stand in the Tent of Meeting, and I shall instruct him.’ So Moshe and Yehoshua went and stood in the Tent of Meeting” (Devarim 31:14).
The Sifri states, “‘You should take for you (קח לך) Yehoshua ben Nun, (Bamidbar27:18), his strength is like yours.” The Raavad points out that the continuation of this pasuk in Bamidbar is “’a man in whom there is spirit,’ meaning his spirit of wisdom is equal to all the Jews combined.” We see that Yehoshua, Moshe’s successor, had unparalleled wisdom just as Moshe had.
The Sifri goes on to say that “‘take for you’ (קח לך) refers to a purchase or acquisition, for a friend is only acquired in the most difficult manner. From here they say (Avos DiRebbe Nosson chapter 8) a person should acquire a friend for himself to be learning Torah and gemara with him, eat and drink with him and reveal to him your secrets. And so it says in Koheles (4:13), ‘a three-strand rope will not quickly unravel.'” The Raavad remarks that there is no proof from this pasuk in Koheles that one should acquire a friend, but rather says that it is saying that a person works better with a friend than by himself. The simple understanding of the pasuk is that it’s referring to our three forefathers, Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. When they became the official forefathers, their merits became everlasting. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
We have to put into perspective what the Raavad and the Sifri are saying. The accomplishment of each of the Avos were quite immense! Avraham discovered Hashem on his own and created a revolution, bringing thousands of people close to Hashem, while doing immense amounts of acts of kindness and passing ten trials, each harder than the next. Yitzchak reached a level of purity no man has ever experienced, a level of holiness equal to one who is a holy sacrifice to Hashem. That status stayed with him from the time of the Binding of Yitzchak until his death, which is why he could never leave the Land of Canaan. Yaakov was an accomplished scholar, in his youth sitting in the tents of his father and Yeshiva Shem viEver and learning all day, He became a completely honest businessman when dealing with Lavan’s flock, as well as conducting business on his own, making for himself a family who would become the progenitors of the Jewish nation. A life based offof honesty and integrity. All three of these tremendous individuals built up enough merits to have lasted for generations. Yet this medrish is telling us that Koheles attests that only because all of their merits were molded together, into “our forefathers,” did the zechus avos [their merits] last throughout the generations.
So to the Sifri calls the transition of leadership from Moshe to Aharon, as Moshe acquiring a friend. It would seem that even though Yehoshua by himself was as great in wisdom as the entire Jewish People put together, as the Raavad points out, still in all, his impact as the leader of Klal Yisrael would not have made as much of an impression if Moshe had not acquired him as a friend in order to give over the leadership to him. In fact, this medrish goes on to say that Moshe mustered up strength to actually pick up Yehoshua (like a kinyan [acquisition]) and displayed to the Jewish People their new leader. He then set him down on a bench, as per the Raavad, whereupon Yehoshua addressed the Jewish People in front of Moshe saying, “Blessed is Hashem who gave the Torah to the Jews through Moshe Rabbeinu.” This was done in order to show the overlap of leadership; as if to indicate to the Jews that Moshe was handing the leadership over to Yehoshua, instead of Yehoshua simply taking up the mantle after Moshe’s passing.
So too, the medrish is saying, as per the Raavad, that any friendship has the potential to make a great impact, not only amongst the friends, but can even affect others. Even possibly generations to come, because the quality of a friendship, qualitatively, is more impactful then even two great individuals, individually.
A true friend, one who learns with you, feasts with you, and is a true confidant, with whom you can share your secrets, might not be easy to find and bond with. It takes effort and an investment to acquire a true friend, but the fruits of the labor are not just two individuals who enjoy each other; it can be impactful on a much larger scale!
Ksiva vichasima tova, happy healthy and prosperous New Year & Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder