Continuing with what we have been discussing,
off the topic of lashon hara, this time talking about gazing at women
especially when they are immodest. The gemara in Bava Basra 57b says that one
gaze at women as they are laundering their clothes in the river. And the gemara
says if you could have taken a different route to where you want to go then you
are wicked and the Rashbam adds that even if you were closing your eyes as you
walked down the riverbank you are still wicked. The Chofetz Chaim asks why are
they called wicked, how is it any different than walking by a place of idol
worship where we poskined that if you aren’t planning on going there, just
passing by to get to where you want to go, even if you could go some other way
and you have no intent of benefiting from any sounds smells, or beautiful
sights coming outvif the idolatrous place of worship then it’s permissible to pass
by even if automatically you might get some pleasure which you are uninterested
in getting. Even according to the Chochmas Adam quoted last week who says one
should close his eyes, or at least squint, or close his ears, and or stuff is
nostrils a bit so he cannot smell, then if he does that and walk by he is not
considered wicked so why does the Rashbam consider him wicked in this case? The
Chofetz Chaim answers that when it comes to stairing at women especially when
dressed inappropriately one has to take extra precautions not to come to gaze
at them because the yetzer hara, evil inclination is extra sneaky and strong to
get you to sin. Tge lost for women is much stronger than any other lust, even
if you say to yourself that you aren’t affected by it but the yetzer hara has
his way of ensnaring any man and getting him to fall into a sinful trap.
Therefore, extra precautions must be taken and if not then you are considered
evil.
The
Chofetz Chaim lends support to this concept from a gemara in Brachos 61a that
says it’s better to walk behind a lion thatn in back of a woman and if you meet
one on the road then quickly walk past her and move to the side. (Granted
derech eretz kadma liTorah, and one must use proper manners to at least
acknowledge any person, even a lady on the street with a greeting but then
quickly walk past her and don’t linger, lest you might look upon her and begin
to have inappropriate thoughts.)
There
is a story about the Chofetz Chaim, in his late 90s a couple of years before he
passed away he was in an inn overnight on his travels and at breakfast the
waitress who was attending him and his accompaniment was wearing a shirt which
was a above her elbows. When she left, he turned to his secretary and asked him
if she thought he was an angel. He meant that even though he was at the ripe
old age of upper 90s and he was a very righteous person, besides the fact it
was only her elbows showing, still in all he was greatly concerned that maybe
his evil inclinations will over power him and he’ll sin at least in his
thoughts, so he wondered if she thought he was an angel who could not be
effected by physical desires.
Footnote
15: Back to the laws of lashon hara, if a person cannot walk away from someone
speaking lashon hara, neither can he rebuke him and it’s embarrassing to put
his fingers into his ears then besides not believing a word spoken, and having
no intent if enjoying what he is hearing, he should also sit there as a stone
or as the Rabbeinu Yona says even should a look of disgust and if you don’t
stay still as a stone then you are helping him commit the sin by somewhat
giving credence and considered flattering a sinner which us a grave sin which
makes one undeserving of having the Shechina, Hashem’s Holy Presence focus on
him.