Category: Food for Thought

זכרון ציפה תרצה – The Food for Thought Archives in blessed memory of Celia Rosenberg a”h

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Bihaaloscha – Formula for Peaceful Relationships

This Dvar Torah is dedicated in memory of Eliezer Yehoshua ben Yaakov Lieberman a”h. May his memory be a chizuk and comfort to his family, and may they see no more sorrow.

At the end of this week’s Torah portion of Bihaaloscha, Miriam speaks lashon hara, slandered Moshe on some level, to Aharon, and Miriam was punished with tzaraas, spiritual leprosy. During this entire ordeal not only was Moshe silent, but he even prayed for Miriam to be healed.

There are many lessons the Ralbag learns from this occurrence. One is that it is beneficial for a person to act with the character trait of humility and lowliness as much as possible. For we see that Moshe, with all his perfection, and being the king and prophet, still in all the Torah testifies that he was the humblest of all people.

Another lesson the Ralbag learns from here is that a person shouldn’t take to heart things which are said against him, even if you might be the master over the person who spoke out against you. Moshe was totally unperturbed by the fact that Miriam and Aharon spoke out against him, and he was quiet. For this reason, the Torah writes at this juncture, “And the man, Moshe, was very humble.” It is further understood that Moshe knew what was said about him, for Aharon said to him, “Do not cast a sin upon us for we have been foolish and we have sinned” (Bamidbar 12:11).

The Ralbag learns another lesson, that a perfect person wouldn’t take revenge or bear a grudge from one who insulted him. Not only this, but he should even help the one who spoke out against him. For we see that Moshe Rabbeinu of blessed memory not only was not unnerved at the words Miriam, his sister, threw out against him, but he helped her as much as he could through prayer.  (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 The Ralbag learns from the fact that Moshe Rabbeinu was unphased by the lashon hara Miriam spoke against him, that any person should be unphased by insults or words said against him or her. It would seem that even though someone said some harsh words against the other, which was most likely uncalled for, and a sin to be spoken, the one spoken about has the ability to, and should try to, stay quiet, and be totally unaffected about what was said about him or her. Yet only one who has perfected his or her qualities can not only be unphased and stay quiet but can proactively help the one who insulted them, in their time of need. We see how severe of an impact an insult has on a person, that even if unphased and quiet about the situation, a normal person still cannot come to help the one who insulted him or her, even in their time of need.

But what if a person can’t forgive and move on; what if inside of them they still feel insulted; does that mean they should suppress their feelings? 
The answer is no, suppressing one’s feelings is very unhealthy and is prohibited under the prohibition of “Don’t hate your brother in your heart, you shall surely rebuke him, and not carry upon him a sin” (Vayikra 19:17). The Ralbag in his commentary on this pasuk says that if a person does something against you (or Hashem), you should rebuke him, in order to direct him back onto the right back path. The point of the rebuke is that if he did anything against you, maybe he will fix the wrong he did or be afraid to do anything bad to you again. One just has to make sure that the rebuke is done in a way that it serves its purpose, (this is the hard part). Giving rebuke in a private fashion with words that will stir him to change his ways, not harshly and in front of others. As the Torah concludes, rebuking should not be done in a way that it will be a sin on the rebuker for embarrassing your fellow.  (Click here for Hebrew text.) The Ohr Hachaim shares a beautiful lesson on this pasuk along the same vein. He says “You shall not hate your brother etc.” This means that if your fellow Jew does something to you that will cause you to hate him, don’t hate him in your heart, rather you should speak to him about what he did… and what it means, “you shall not carry upon him a sin,” that is, you should not conclude in your mind that what occurred from your brother was done wickedly, and he unlamentally stands by his sin, without any remorse. Rather, you should judge him favorably and rebuke him, and through the rebuke one of two things will happen. Either he will give a valid excuse for what he did and did not really sin, or he will regret what he did and repent, never wanting to do it again, and then he will be like a friend or brother to you. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
  We see from here that if a person can’t honestly let go of what someone else did to them then the right thing to do is to go over to them and speak it out. In this way, if done correctly you can fix the situation or see that the situation isn’t as dire as it looked at first glance, but one certainly shouldn’t suppress his or her feelings which will just build hatred in one’s heart.

Lastly, one might think you can never say no, and are always required to help others. That is what kindness is all about! However, the Ralbag on the next pasuk (Vayikra 19:18) says “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This means you shall love him like your own body. For this reason, one should choose for him whatever good is possible to give him, and keep distance damages from your friend, just as you would for yourself. Indeed, this mitzvah is fashioned in such a way that it should not damage (or hurt) the lover, for because of this love one isn’t required to take off from his own job in order to get his friends job done for him, because love for yourself comes before love of your friend…

Every person in the world is different, some are naturally “forgive and forget” individuals, some work hard, learning mussar, and perfecting their character traits so that an insult will genuinely not make a tangible impact on him or her, yet others do feel the pain and are expected to not hold it in and suppress it but rather do something about it to constructively resolve the issues. Whichever category one falls into we see that Hashem understands we are frail human beings, who for the most part are not perfect, but can still do a lot of good and should have the patience and humility to deal with these rough situations.

Hashem expects each and every one of us to know ourselves, know what our strengths and weaknesses are, what we can and cannot do, but act accordingly to not hurt ourselves as well as not to ensue conflict with others.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

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Naso – Authenticity the Key to Blessings

Right smack in the middle of this week’s Torah portion of Naso are the birkas kohanim, the priestly blessings. These blessings were given by Hashem to the kohanim in order for them to bless the Jewish people. The first one, “May the Lord bless you and watch over you” (Bamidbar 6:23), Rabbeinu Bachye in his midrashic interpretations says it means that one should be blessed with wealth and still be able to perform all the mitzvos of Hashem. The second blessing in pasuk 24 states, “May the Lord cause His countenance to shine to you and favor you.”Rabbeinu Bachye says in one of his midrashic interpretations that this means that one should be blessed with the ability to raise children who will be bnei Torah, as it says, ‘for a candle is the mitzvah and Torah is it’s light’ (Mishley 6:25). The last blessing in pasuk 25 reads, “May the Lord raise His countenance toward you and grant you peace.” One of the interpretations for this blessing given by the Rabbeinu Bachye is that wherever one turns, Hashem shall raise His countenance upon you, to place upon you peace, and you will be saved from all peril and all happenstance. This refers to hashgacha pratis plus, meaning that Hashem should constantly shower one with extra-individualized, Divine intervention to take specific care of him or her in all circumstances.

The Mishna Berura (siman 128:34:) poskins [establishes the law] that according to halacha a child may duchen [give over the priestly blessings to the congregation] with other adult kohanim who are 13 and above, in order to train him how to do it. However, if kohanim at the minyan are only children, they should not do it by themselves because it is a lack of honor to the congregation to be blessed by a child. But as soon as a kohen reaches the age of maturity then he is able to give over the blessings by himself, whether he is married or not. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

However, Rabbeinu Bachye quotes a view of Rabbeinu Yitzchak HaZaken the Baal Tosfos who says that a kohen should not duchen unless he is married. Rabbeinu Bachye goes on to say, “In truth there is a basis for this because a person isn’t complete without his soulmate, and he is not fit to bless or to receive blessing. For this reason Nadav and Avihu deserved to be punished, for they did not want to get married and the daughters of Israel were waiting for them and were sitting unmarried their entire lives. I I have had already written discussed that this is one of the six reasons given by Chaza”l in their midrashim for their sin. For this the pasuk writes, ‘Fire consumed His youths and His virgins were not married’ (Tehillim 78:63). Why did ‘Fire consumed His youths’ because His virgins were not married, from here we see they were punished according to one of the opinions, for they were not fit for the Jews to be blessed through them. Therefore, the kohen needs to be complete, with his soulmate, as an example of the traits that come through the blessings given by them.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The famous Baal Tosfos, the R”I, holds that only married kohanim can give the priestly blessings to the congregation because he has to be considered a complete person in order to properly give over the Divine blessings. These blessings, with all of their meanings to the congregation, include that one’s children should be brought up to be children of Torah, that they be Torah observant and appreciate the Torah lifestyle and learning it, which means one has to be married to have the children.

However, what would be wrong, according to Rabbeinu Yitzchak Hazaken, with an unmarried kohen who hopes to one day get married, or even a child learning, if they strive to one day be in this position to accept and give over the blessing of children who will one day be bnei Torah? One could understand why Nadav and Avihu were punished on their level for being very picky when trying to find a shidduch, and therefore putting themselves into a position where they seem never to get married and were not deserving to give these blessings, which is why Hashem killed them. But anyone else who is single, who would like to one day get married, why would they not be able to duchen even when they are not yet married?

It would seem from Rabbeinu Bachye that because he says in his last line, “Therefore, the kohen needs to be complete, with his soulmate, as an example of the traits that come through the blessings given by them,” that in terms of giving the Divine blessing one has to be completely authentic. Therefore until he truly understands and experiences the meaning of the blessing, which is when he is married and in position to have children, then he can’t fully relate to the blessing, and therefore cannot give it over properly to the congregation.

Authenticity is so important to Hashem, that at least in regards to such an important service as giving over the blessings that Hashem granted the kohanim to give the congregation, the R”I HaZaken is of the view that only married people, those that are complete and true to the blessings are fit to give them. This is even at the expense that there might be times no one would be able to give the blessings, for example in a yeshiva where there are no married kohanim, but complete authenticity is more important in his view.

Though we poskin that an unmarried kohen can indeed duchen for the congregation, assumedly because Chaza”l in their vast wisdom understood that this ideal high level is not required (possibly, as long as one day a kohen hopes to be married he can relate enough to this blessing therefore they are allowed to duchen), there is still a lesson in authenticity to be learned and much appreciated from Rabbeinu Yitzchak Hakohen, Baal HaTosfos.  

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Shavuos: Megillas Rus – No Excuses but to Trust

On Shavuos we read Megillas Rus. We see the total dedication Rus had for her mother-in-law, Naomi and Judaism. When they returned to Israel the Torah says:

And they both went on until they arrived to Bethlehem. And it came to pass when they arrived to Bethlehem, that the entire city was astir on their account, and they said, “Is this Naomi?” יטוַתֵּלַ֣כְנָה שְׁתֵּיהֶ֔ם עַד־בּוֹאָ֖נָה בֵּ֣ית לָ֑חֶם וַיְהִ֗י כְּבוֹאָ֨נָה֙ בֵּ֣ית לֶ֔חֶם וַתֵּהֹ֤ם כָּל־הָעִיר֙ עֲלֵיהֶ֔ן וַתֹּאמַ֖רְנָה הֲזֹ֥את נָֽעֳמִֽי:
Rashi on the pasuk points out: “that the entire city was astir: The entire city became astir. They had gathered to bury Boaz’s wife, who had died on that very day.”
 
The Sifsei Chachamim at the end of this Rashi references, “And in Masecehes Bava Basra Rashi explains that this pasuk is coming to teach us that Hashem creates the medication before the ailment, and a person should trust in Hashem.”		 וַתֵּהֹם כָּל הָעִיר: נַעֲשֵׂית הוֹמִיָּה כָל הָעִיר. כֻּלָּם נִתְקַבְּצוּ לִקְבֹּר אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל בֹּעַז שֶׁמֵּתָה בּוֹ בַיּוֹם:

The Gemara in Bava Basra 91a referenced says:
וְאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם שֶׁבָּאת רוּת הַמּוֹאֲבִיָּה לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל מֵתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל בֹּעַז וְהַיְינוּ דְּאָמְרִי אִינָשֵׁי עַד דְּלָא שָׁכֵיב שִׁיכְבָא קָיְימָא מְנוּ בַיְיתֵיהּ
And Rabbi Yitzḥak also says with regard to this passage: That very day when Rus the Moabite came to Eretz Yisrael, the wife of Boaz died, i.e., from the moment of their arrival the possibility was created for Ruth’s eventual marriage to Boaz. This explains the adage that people say: Before the deceased dies, the person who will next be in charge of his house arises, as in this case Boaz’s new wife, Ruth, arrived as his previous wife died. (Click here for Gemara text.)
Rus just happened to have come with Naomi into Bethlehem the same day as Boaz’s wife passed away and she was being buried. This was no coincidence. Rashi in Bava basra points out that we learn from this juncture that Hashem brings the medication  before the ailment, and one should always have trust in Hashem. For we see in this case that before Boaz’s wife passed away, the one who was appointed and ready to take over her household was arriving to take her place (for Rus eventually married Boaz later in the megillah).

The obvious question is why does Rashi seem to say that only because Hashem provides the means to heal before the problem arises should a person have trust in Hashem? Shouldn’t a person always have trust in the All Mighty, All Powerful, All Merciful G-D who can do anything at any time and any place without anyone or anything stopping Him? One should have trust in Hashem whether He creates the medication before the ailment or whether the source of healing comes about only after the problem arises. Either way, we should trust in Hashem that Hashem is only out for our good and will do the best for us?!

It would seem that if Hashem would not have set up this system in which He guarantees the solution comes before the problem, then a person might have a valid excuse to not have proper bitachon, faith in Hashem, because the predicament that he or she is facing might be too overwhelming, making it extremely difficult to trust that Hashem will work things out for the best. However, Hashem in His ultimate mercy and graciousness set up a system to give no excuse to not believe in Him. The fact that Hashem guarantees the solution is already out there even before the problem arises should be a comfort to one who is suffering, as long as they choose to trust in it.

Good Shabbos and yom tov,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

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Bamidbar – Kavod Shamayim

This dvar Torah is dedicated in memory of  Mr. Nathaniel Hoffman a”h, Avraham Nesanel Ben Yerachmiel, one of the first participants in CITE programming. Yehi zichro baruch!

This week we begin the 4th book of the Torah, Sefer Bamidbar. The parsha starts off saying, “Hashem spoke to Moshe in the Wilderness of Sinai, in the Tent of Meeting etc.” The Medrish Tanchuma (3) points out that before the Mishkan was erected Hashem spoke to Moshe by the burning bush, in Midian, Egypt, and at Sinai. After the Mishkan was assembled Hashem said “better is modesty,” as it says in Micha (6:8) “You shall walk with Hashem your G-D with modesty.” Hashem then started talking to Moshe from then on inside of the Tent of Meeting. A similar pasuk is quoted from King Dovid’s Tehillim (45:14), “All the honor of the daughter of a king is found inside, more than the studded gold she is wearing.” 
The medrish goes on to address the pristine quality of modesty and how this pasuk refers to the relationship Moshe and Aharon had with Hashem after the Mishkan was built. Hashem was saying that ‘My honor is enhanced when Moshe talks with Me in private.’ The medrish then goes on to discuss a statement Rebbe Yehoshua ben Levi made, which needs clarification, of what the connection was to what we have been saying. Why is it brought at this juncture?

“Rebbe Yehoshua ben Levi said, if the nations of the world would have known the value the Beis Hamikdash had for them, they would have built fortresses around it in order to protect it. For it was more valuable to them then it was for the Jews. For this is what Shlomo [the king and architect of the first Beis Hamikdash] declared in his prayers, ‘And also a gentile who is not of your people Israel, but will come from a distant land for Your namesake… they will come and pray toward this Temple, may You hear from Heaven, the foundation of Your abode, and act according to all that the gentile has called unto You’ (Melachim Alef 8:41-43.) But when he came to the Jews, what does it write? ‘And recompense every man according to his ways as You know his heart’ (Divrei Hayamim Beis 6:30). Shlomo said, Master Of The World, if he deserves it give it to him, and if he doesn’t then don’t give it to him.”

The Etz Yosef explains the difference between the gentiles and the Jews: “Since a Jew recognize Hashem and knows He has the ability, and if his prayers aren’t answered he blames it on himself and his sins. But a gentile will complain of injustice and say, ‘I traveled very hard on many roads to pray inside this world-renowned Temple and I didn’t find anything special about it just like idolatry is nothing special.’ Therefore [Shlomo asked Hashem] and You shall do all that the gentile asks from You.”

The medrish concludes that one shouldn’t say that only the Beis Hamikdash was better for the gentiles, but also if not for the Jews rain would not fall in the world, and the sun would not rise. For in their merit the rain falls, and Hashem causes the sun to shine in this world. In the future the nations will see how Hashem clings to the Jews, and they will come to cling to them, as it says in Zachariah (9:23): “We will walk with you for we heard G-D is with you.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
It appears that these gentiles are clearly drawn towards Hashem and inspired to beseech Him. They are willing to make long, treacherous journeys just to behold and make supplication at the Holy Temple, the center of the world. They seem to have a very high level and belief in the true and only G-D because why else take the risks and spend all that money and time on something so esoteric? But if that is indeed the case, why should they be treated any differently than us Jews who also have a strong belief in Hashem but at times might question why does it feel our prayers are never answered?

However, if you analyze the medrish carefully, the lesson that we learn, which is the connection between the first half and second half of the medrish, is that what’s most important in the existence of the world is for the sake of Hashem’s honor. The more honor given to Him the greater Kiddush Hashem, sanctification of Hashem’s Holy name there is. So, just as when done modestly and privately, Moshe speaking with Hashem inside the Mishkan was a great honor to Him, so too, in order to enhance Hashem’s honor, it was worth it for Hashem to answer all of the gentiles’ prayers that come to pray to Him at the Beis Hamikdash. This was done so that they will realize that Hashem is the only true G-D who is all-powerful and can do anything, even if they don’t deserve it. Yet it would seem in regard to the Jews it would be a greater honor to Hashem for Him to answer their prayers only when each individual has earned the right and deserves it. This is because there are more expectations on Hashem’s children who are His servants and were given a handbook, the Torah. They are expected to live by it, so by listening to Hashem and earning the right for their prayers to be answered they are creating a greater Kiddush Hashem, kavod Shamayim, which is the ultimate purpose of creation.

The Jewish people are on such a lofty level that living up to those expectations are in and of themselves a greater honor to Hashem. And because we understand that we have a responsibility to live up to these standards and responsibilities it makes sense that our prayers will not be answered every time and it’s upon us to improve and better ourselves for the sake of the Honor of Heaven.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

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Behar & Bechukosai – Emulating Hashem by Learning the Depth of Torah


The second parsha of this week’s Torah portions of Behar and Bechukosai, which are the conclusion of Sefer Vayikra begins, “If you will follow My decrees and observe My mitzvos and perform them” (Vayikra 26:3).
The Sforno commenting on “observe My mitzvos”: “Behold the keeping of mitzvos is watching over them in a way that they perform them and understand their intent. This can only be done with in-depth clarity, as Chazal say [in a Sifri (Re’eh 77)] keeping it is learning it. If you say that this is the case then if you act in the ways of Hashem which includes the part of the actions of His Torah, and you go into depths of the profundity of the mitzvos, to know how to perform them and what is here their purpose, in this way you will perfect His intent of them being created in the image of Hashem and His likeness.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
It sounds from this Sforno that the only way to perfect ourselves as tzelem Elokim, people who were created in the image of Hashem, is by learning Torah b’iyun, in great depth and then applying what we learn. Why is great depth needed to be considered walking in His ways, emulating Hashem, and perfecting the purpose of one’s existence?

There are two parts of Torah learning, iyun and bekius, depth and breadth. The expanse or breadth of Torah is so vast, and of course Hashem perfectly knows it; so why isn’t that emphasized as or at least part of perfecting one’s image of Hashem, to help one emulate His Creator? Just as Hashem knows the breadth of Torah in its entirety, because He is the All Knowing and author of the Torah; so too, we should know every aspect of it in its entirety so what is the stress the Sforno has on the depth of Torah, the iyun aspect, the profundity?

It must be that delving into the depths if of Torah is the main way of emulating Hashem and completing our perfection as a tzelem Elokim, our quality over animals that we were made in Hashem’s likeness, in terms of Torah learning. A proof that iyun is the main learning that emulates Hashem is a famous statement quoted from the Zohar in parshas Teruma הסתכל באורייתא וברא עלמא “Hashem gazed in the Torah and created the world.” The word for ‘gaze’ in Hebrew is ‘histakel,’ which connotes staring, focusing. He didn’t just look into the Torah and create the world; there was a focus, a concentration into the inner working of the Torah, in order to create the world. This is similarly expressed in the Medrish Rabba in Breishis (1:1, 3:5 and 64:8) multiple times where it says Hashem was engrossed in the Torah in order to create the world. The word engrossed in Hebrew is ‘osek,’ the same term that we use every day in the blessing for learning Torah. This word connotes a focus and concentration into the study of Torah, which is only done through in-depth learning. Therefore, it must be that in order to create the world Hashem didn’t just peruse through the Torah at a glance of its breadth but delved deep into the depths of Torah in order to draw out the perfect world from these manuscripts.

What we learn from here is that in-depth learning isn’t important just because it will give more clarity towards serving Hashem using His handbook for mankind. But it’s also the means of perfecting ourselves and using the gift, our soul, the tzelem Elokim in the best manner possible and is the best way to be able to emulate Hashem, since He did the same thing when using the blueprints of creation to create the world.

It is also important to learn bekius, the breadth or expanse of Torah too in order to gain a well-rounded education of Torah knowledge becuase that will help with understanding the profubdity and depth of the Torah, but we see here a clear message of the significance and magnitude of learning b’iyun, the depth of Torah knowledge.

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Emor – The Thrill of Counting Up

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We are living in the times of the Omer, counting up to Shavuos, Kabalas HaTorah. The day we as a nation, a people, received Hashem’s precious gift of the Torah.
This week’s Torah portion of Emor discusses all the Yom Tovim throughout the year. In regard to the Omer and Shavuos the Torah says, “And you shall count for yourselves, from the morrow of the rest day from the day you bring the omer as a wave  offering seven weeks; they shall be complete” (Vayikra 23:15).
The Bechor Shor comments on this pasuk, “’You shall count 50 days’ for the honor of the Torah, Hashem commanded to count. It similar to a parable about a person who was locked up in jail. One of the king’s servants sent him a message that on such and such a day the king will release him and give him his daughter, the princess in marriage. The guy was skeptical. After the king released him, the guy said to himself, ‘If he fulfilled his word to release me, the king will for sure fulfill giving me his daughter.’ He started counting each day until day 50 and the king gave him his daughter. So to when Hashem spoke to Moshe saying ‘go and take My nation, the Children of Israel out of Egypt, and He said when you will take the nation from Egypt you will serve me on this mountain, and give them the Torah.’ And Moshe told the Jews what he was told and they did not listen to Moshe because of the hard work they had. They said, ‘We don’t believe we will be taken out of the servitude of Egypt even if He gives us the Torah.’ Then when the Jews were taken out, they started to count when He will give them the Torah. And He then gives it to Bnei Yisroel at the end of 50 days from leaving [Egypt]. Hashem then commanded that they should count every year to make dear and increase the love of the Torah upon them, that He gave them a precious tool which He created the world with. This is what [the B’chor Shor says] I heard from my father zt”l.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

Why does Hashem command us to count the omer to increase our love for the Torah; how does that help? The omer is a mitzvah for everyone. If a person is learning Torah in yeshiva and is getting into his learning and enjoying his learning every day, or even if he is not in yeshiva but he sets aside time to learn and looks forward to that learning every day, what does counting the omer add? Furthermore, if we know it is a gift from Hashem and it is super powerful because it’s what Hashem Himself used to create the world, isn’t that knowledge enough to excite us and make us feel a tremendous love for the Torah?

 It would seem that an annual “count down,” or really count up, is a way to further enhance one’s love and endearment. Every added ounce of love for the Torah gets one closer to Hashem, the amount of potential love is infinite. Therefore, if one understands and has the proper mindset then the Omer can be a thrilling time that will enhance one’s love for Torah more than what one has presently.

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Acharei Mos/Kedoshim – Tattoos in Jewish Law (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 180)


The Torah in this week’s double portion of Acharei Mos/ Kedoshim mentions in Kedoshim, “You shall not make a cut in your flesh for the dead, and a tattoo shall you not place upon yourselves, I am Hashem” (19:28). The B’chor Shor remarks about tattoos, “that it is one who tears open his flesh and places within the tear dye which he wants to be seen permanently. This is also a statute of idolatry, for they write the name of their idol on their flesh.” Therefore, the pasuk concludes, “‘I am Hashem’ too Great of a King, to do before Me these types of meaningless acts.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The B’chor Shor holds that tattooing is forbidden because it’s the way of the gentiles to tattoo their god onto their bodies, which was supposedly a sign of honor and respect for the god. However, Hashem says that that is belittling to Him, to etch onto one’s body, even if it’s permanently, which shows commitment. If a tattoo would show dedication, commitment and pride towards Hashem, why did Hashem say it’s forbidden?

 If one thinks deeply into what it means and the ramifications of Hashem being the King Of All Kings, Master Of The Universe who created each and every one of us with perfect precision (besides the bris milah which he tactfully left for man to do with reason), and we are the stewards of The King, who represent His Majesty, then it would be demeaning and belittling to deface our bodies, that Hashem has perfectly molded and constructed for us, even if it was with in mind to honor Him.

Imagine someone painted graffiti all over the White House which said, “long live the president!” That wouldn’t be an act of patriotism, it would be defamation. So too, tattooing one’s body even for the sake of Hashem’s honor is belittling the Great King that created us and endowed us with a pure soul to serve Him and represent His Majesty.

In fact, what the Bechor Shor is saying the message of “I am Hashem” in the pasuk is that I am a great king and doing these things in front of me is frivolous. He also said earlier that tattooing is a statute of idol worship for no particular reason, meaning they really weren’t showing pride and commitment by inscribing the name of their god into their flesh it was just a rule they had to follow and we shouldn’t copy the rules of the heathens, but furthermore it’s belittling to the Great King to have people who act in this manner, tattooing themselves with any type of tattoo. There is no basis for it in the Torah, The Great King’s handbook for life and the fad is taken from the outside world, so it’s a frivolous act therefore one shouldn’t copy it. Sticking within the boundaries of halacha, of the way Hashem the Great King wants the world to be run, having His nation serve Him and live life according to His guidance and advice is most productive. Anything else is inconsequential and not the Almighty’s ways, thus forbidden.

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Tazria/Metzora – Triggering the Center

The bulk of this week’s double portion of Tazria and Metzora discusses the concept of tzaraas, spiritual leprosy. The most famous reason one gets tzaraas is for speaking lashon hara, slander. And one of the main reasons one speaks slander is because of gaava, haughtiness, thinking he or she is better than someone else. 
The Chofetz Chaim in his Sefer Shmiras Halashon, chapter 16, remarks regarding one who discovers tzaraas on his body, “furthermore it writes in the Torah (Vayikra 13:45), ‘his clothes shall be ripped and his head unkempt (grown out)’. It’s possible the reason for this is because the main reason for the sin of the tongue stems from haughtiness, that he thinks himself as an important person among people, therefore he decides to degrade his friend. If one would recognize his own fallacies, he would not seek out the blemishes of his friend. The proof to this is that the Torah writes by the purification process of a Metzora, he shall take cedar wood, hyssop, and crimson thread (see Vayikra 14:4). Rashi explains there that if one is haughty like a cedar then he should belittle himself like a worm or a hyssop, and then he would be atoned for. Therefore, the pasuk says that his clothes shall be ripped and his hair on his head grown out in order for him to be disgusting, so that he will look degraded by all and then he won’t speak haughtily about others.”

 Later in the chapter the Chofetz Chaim writes, “’And he shall cloak himself up to his lips’ (Vayikra 13:45). This is because he definitely said to himself originally, ‘Because of our tongues we shall prevail, our lips are with us’ (Tehillim 12:5), therefore Hashem commanded us that at this point one should be cloaked up to his lips. [The end of the earlier pasuk in Tazria says,] ‘he (the afflicted metzora) is to call out, contaminated! contaminated!’ (Vayikra 13:45). He is to make sure that everyone hears he is contaminated and separate from him. For in place of originally revealing the embarrassment of his friend in front of people, now he has to reveal his own embarrassment in front of people.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 The Chofetz Chaim depicts to what extent, from one end of the spectrum to the other, a person who speaks lashon hara is punished and must go in order to repent and change his wrongful ways. However, if you look at the Rashi itself earlier quoted from parshas Metzora, he says “and cedar wood” because these afflictions come because of haughtiness. “And “crimson thread and hyssop,” what is the way to fix it and be healed? Belittle himself from his haughtiness, like a worm and hyssop. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 The Gur Aryeh, which is the Mahara”l’s commentary on Rashi, asks a blaring and really good question on this pasuk: “Why does two things have to be mentioned that he should humble himself like (1) hyssop and like (2) crimson thread, isn’t the most belittling one all that is needed? You can answer that definitely at first one should belittle himself like a worm who is very lowly, in order to distance himself from sin. For originally, he sinned in haughtiness and if he does not separate himself to the opposite extreme, to grab on to the attribute of lowliness very very low, then his sin will not leave his hands because he will go back to his haughtiness therefore one has to lower himself like a worm until he is distanced from the sin and his heart should not feel inflated. But afterwards he should be like a hyssop, and one does not have to belittle himself as low as a worm. This is why the pasuk first mentions crimson thread and then hyssop, because too much lowliness is not befitting because every good attribute has a middle ground, and the two extremes are not good. In this manner the Rambam explains in his introduction to Pirkei Avos, that one who sins with haughtiness, when he fixes his ways, he has to grab onto the most extreme way to lower himself until he removes the disgusting attribute he has [of haughtiness] and then he should stand by humility. This is also a form of lowliness but not as much.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 According to the Gur Aryeh, the reason for a person who has tzaraas has to bring both crimson thread (the thread represents the worm. In fact tolaas, the Hebrew word used in the pasuk means thread and worm) and hyssop, were in order to send a message that he should go to the opposite extreme from haughtiness, and then go back to the middle of regular humility once he gets rid of his haughtiness. What is interesting to note is that to go to the opposite extreme one goes through many actions, for example bringing the crimson thread as part of his sacrifice, clothing himself up to his lips, letting his hair grow out and become disheveled, calling to everyone ‘contaminated, contaminated’ so people will stay away from him, and separating himself from everyone for a week. However, in terms of going back to the middle ground, all there is, is a trigger or reminder, i.e., the hyssop, to indicate that that is the ultimate goal. Wouldn’t one think that logically finding the middle ground would be harder than going to the opposite extreme and therefore would take more action to figure out how to do that?

However, though it might be harder, all that is needed is an intellectual push, using one’s mind to figure out the equilibrium; not much extra actions must be taken to find that perfect balance, and then he automatically acts in that perfect balance. However, one could ask why is it right to go to the opposite extreme first, if the Gur Aryeh says it’s not good to do?
 The Orchos Tzadikim in a similar vein at the end of the Gate of Gaavah remarks: “He who desires to root out haughtiness from his heart completely cannot do this by thought alone but must at first depart from arrogance to its furthest extremity. How? A man who was accustomed to dressing himself in the finest garments such as the haughtiest people wear and wants to turn from this ostentation must overcorrect his defect. If he should wear ordinary clothes in an attempt to correct his fault, he will not eradicate his haughtiness from his heart. Or if his custom was to boast and to exalt himself to win honor by words or deeds. There is no means of correcting this unless he goes to the other extreme and conducts himself with the greatest humiliation, sitting below everyone or far to the rear, and wears worn and shabby clothes that disgrace their wearer, and does similar things until he roots out his haughtiness to heart. The same is true of a man with a hot temper who is angry often. At first, he should conduct himself so that even if they beat him and curse him, he should not feel it at all. He must continue in this manner for a long time until he roots out the very roots of anger from his heart. When he has achieved this, he can then take the middle road and follow it all his life. One should follow this procedure with all evil qualities. At first one should withdraw to the furthest extreme and act thusly for a long time. Afterwards he should take the middle road. And this method of procedure is a complete healing in connection with all evil qualities. And he whose intention continually is to serve the Creator Blessed be He, with every part of himself and in the best manner, will place this path before himself and before his companion. And concerning this it is said: ‘And to him that order his way aright will I show the salvation of God.’ (Tehillim 50:23).” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

Earlier in the chapter the Orchos Tzadikim describes the ideal median: “The proper way for man is to be clean in all matters, for cleanliness is the fence that guards good deeds. How shall he conduct himself? He should wear garments of moderate worth (elegantly conservative, as my Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Henoch Leibowitz zt”l used to say), and not expensive and splendid clothes that invite everyone’s attention. Nor shall he wear poor or shabby garments that shame the wearer, but garments of moderate worth, lovely and clean, according to his means. And it is forbidden that a spot or a stain be found on his garments. They should not be torn and they shall not be styled as the haughty sometimes do…”
Based on the Orchos Tzadikim, going to the opposite extreme isn’t ideal, but is a needed boost to get one on the right track, there are stages that must be taken to get to the right place. However, according to the Gur Aryeh, going to both extremes are not good; how then can it help to get one on the right track? It would seem that doing a not good thing can temporarily be useful and even more useful than trying to find the perfect median from the start. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 We learn from here an incredible lesson, that what is not good can still be resourceful. We can’t always go straight to what is good to fix a situation. One must first take steps in doing what is not good but with the intent to clean the wrong that was done before settling into what is the ideal, right thing to do.

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Passover – A Pesach Story

This dvar Torah I heard on the first day of shiur by Rabbi Avrohom Kanarek zt”l over 20 years ago in Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim Yerushayim. Even though these words of mussar were given at the beginning of Elul zman, there is seemingly a well-known story about Pesach which is still worth sharing for its lesson.

 We say everyday upon waking up modeh ani, after we say ראשית חכמה יראת ד’ .
 This statement means, ‘the beginning of wisdom is fear of Hashem.’ The first pasuk of the Torah portion of Shoftim begins, “Judges and policemen shall be appointed to you in all your cities.” Why say “to you”? It is redundant! The answer is that each person should have for oneself, in oneself, a judge and a policeman. The basic quality of a judge is that he does not take bribes. So, a person to have a judge within himself means not taking bribes. What bribes a person? His negative middos, negative character traits, like taavah, physical desires. These make him believe “this is the right thing to do” or make up excuses like “that’s not what the Shulchan Aruch meant, it was talking about another case.” There are people who even don’t bother to convince themselves that what they are doing is correct, they simply can’t control their animalistic instincts, and even though they know what they are doing is wrong they proceed to do it anyways. That is why we have a policeman. What is the policeman? Yiras Shamayim, fear of Heaven. Not many people have Yiras Haromemus, Fear of The Exalted Hashem Himself, but at least fear of punishment one should have. This is the policeman.

There is a story of Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, on erev Pesach he would go to the non-Jews and ask to buy something illegal from the black market, and they said sure! He went to simple Jews and asked them to sell him chometz and they would say, assur, it’s forbidden! We see even with all the police in Czarist Russia the non-Jews weren’t afraid but a Jew has fear of Heaven which is enough.

Chag kasher visameach,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

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Tzav – A Party for Hashem’s Superstars 


The Mishna Berura (429:2:7) says we don’t say tachanun the entire month of Nissan because on Rosh Chodesh Nissan began the dedication of the Mishkan where each of the 12 tribes brought their sacrifice each day, which was considered 12 days of yom tov. Then comes preparing and slaughtering the korban Pesach, Pesach itself, and most of the month is completed, so for the whole month we don’t say tachanun.
 It’s very apropos then that this week’s Torah portion of Tzav discusses the preparations for the dedication of the Mishkan, which took place for seven days prior to Rosh Chodesh Nissan. In fact Chassidim have a custom to not say tachanun for these 7 days as well. The end of the Torah portion discusses the process of installing Aharon and his sons as kohanim to serve in the mishkan. Anointing them, the process of dressing them in their priestly garments, and the offerings that were brought for their inauguration. The pasuk says “Then Moshe took them from on their palms and caused them to go up in smoke on the alter after the burnt-offering; they were inauguration offerings, for a satisfying aroma; it was a fire-offering to Hashem” (Vayikra 8:28).

The Moshav Zekeinim, who is one of the Baalei Tosfos, comments on this pasuk: “the inauguration offerings were called a satisfying aroma, meaning Hashem was joyful and made a yom tov (a holiday) with the inauguration because He acquired a loved one who He had chosen, as it says in Megilla 10b: ‘And it was on the 8th day’ that day was like no other for Hashem ever since He created His world. And [the gemara] learns it out from a gezeira shava it says there the word ‘vayehi’ and it says before in Breishis perek 1 ‘vayehi erev vayehi boker’ (it will be evening and it will be morning). Isn’t it a kal vachomer, fortiori, for just as a human king acquires a loved one and throws a party for him, all the more so The King of Kings, The Holy One Blessed Be He, who appointed a kohen and chose him to serve Him.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
One can relate to a king being happy over acquiring a loved one and throwing a party. It’s like an NFL franchise signing the best quarterback in the league. After the signing no doubt there would be champagne, and an elaborate party amongst the owners, staff, and the quarterback and his family. It is a time of joy because so much potential for success is being bet upon the signing. But why does it then make sense that Hashem’s appointing Aharon and his family as the kohanim who will be in charge of the service in the Mishkan and Beis Hamikdash is such an excitement for Him that it’s compared to when He created the world? When Hashem created the world, He set nature into motion in the most perfect way possible. All of nature did and does Hashem’s bidding, flawlessly. The sun rises and sets at the right time, the seasons happen exactly how Hashem wants them to happen, each species of animals and vegetation have a specific purpose in the grand scheme of things, and do their jobs as Hashem precisely programmed them to do. This incredible work of art, this world that Hashem created with all that is inside, is understandably a joyous masterpiece worth celebrating. How then are the kohanim, who are only human beings, granted, are charged with doing Hashem’s service, but it’s certainly not as thrilling and “earth shattering” of a feat as creation itself, to be equally as joyous and exciting the creation of the world?

However, the reality is that we underestimate the greatness of man and the potential they can reach. Hashem was so excited about appointing priests that would lead the way in serving Hashem the best possible way frail human beings can, and the potential for them to reach great heights and create such a bond with their Father in Heaven for themselves and on behalf of His children is so incredible and inexplicably exhilarating that Hashem justly equated it with when He created Heaven and Earth.

We must appreciate gadlus ha’adam, the greatness of mankind, and how much Hashem believes in us and the success He expects us to accomplish. With this attitude we can indeed have much success and reach the height of perfection that Hashem expects His loved ones to attain.