Author: Rabbi Milder

Posted on

Vayishlach -The Proper Perspective of Why to do the Right Thing

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.

The Sefer HaChinuch is known for giving reasons for the 613 mitvos, which is called טעמי המצוות. Seemingly, the reason to give reasons behind the mitzvos is as a הכרח, a motivation to ensure performance of the mitzvos.

There is one mitzva in this week’s Torah portion of Vayishlach, the third mitzva of the Torah, which is to not eat the גיד הנשה, the tendon of an animal’s thigh. As the Torah states, “Therefore Children of Israel are not to eat the displaced sinew on the hip-socket to this day, because he struck Yaakov’s hip-socket on the displaced sinew” (Breishis 32:33). The Sefer HaChinuch states, “When the Torah says “they shouldn’t eat it” this wasn’t said as a story, meaning parenthetically because this happened to the father then the children shouldn’t eat from that sinew, rather it is a warning from The Blessed Hashem that they shouldn’t eat it. The roots of this mitzvah are in order for there to be a hint to the Jews, that even though they have to deal with great sufferings at the hands of the gentiles in all the exiles, and specifically by the hands of the descendants of Eisav, but still they should have trust that they will never be wiped out. Rather their children and name will always rise up, and there will be their redemption from the hands of the enemy. And through constantly remembering this matter through this mitzvah being used as a reminder, then their faith and righteousness will be everlasting. This hint is based on the fact that this angel that fought with Yaakov Avinu, which tradition says was the ministering angel of Eisav, wanted to uproot Yaakov and his children from this world but he wasn’t able to. However, he hurt him with a blow to the thigh. So, to the descendants of Eisav have pained the descendants of Yaakov, and in the end you will have salvation from them. Just as we find by the father [Yaakov] when the sun rose he was healed and saved from the suffering, so to the sun of Moshiach shall rise for us and heal us from our suffering and our exile, amen, speedily in our days.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Sefer HaChinuch first tells us to fulfill this mitzvah of not eating the gid hanasheh because Hashem commanded us not to, and not because we have a mesora, tradition, from our forefather, Yaakov to not eat it. But then the Sefer HaChinuch gives a reason why we should observe this mitzva, as a hint to strengthen our belief and trust in Hashem, that He will eventually end our suffering and redeem us from exile, as He promised never to wipe us out.

Why isn’t just the fact that Yaakov, one of our forefathers, refrained from eating the gid hanashe because of a specific incident that happened to him, enough of a reason for his descendants to  follow suit and keep this mitzvah? A tradition is a tradition. Chaza”l speak very highly of the concept of mesora, keeping and abiding by the link chain of our tradition from generation to generation. It is what binds the Torah together and ensures it’s continuity. If such a righteous and holy man as one of our forefathers, a progenitor of the Jewish People, had a tradition to not eat something, wouldn’t that be a noble enough reason to fulfill that mitzvah? Yet the Sefer HaChinuch says we should fulfill the mitzvah because Hashem said to, and not because of what our forefather did. What then is the point of giving a reason for observing this mitzva in the next paragraph that talks about the roots of the mitzva?

It must be that even the Sefer HaChinuch holds that ultimately the main intent when observing mitzvos must be because Hashem commanded and warned us to do so. Yet the Sefer HaChinuch felt he had to provide reasons behind the mitzvah, as a means to strengthen our emunah and bitachon in adhering to that mitzvah, for the sake of doing Hashem’s will. Therefore, any reasons given for why to fulfill the mitzva must be only to reenforce the belief that Hashem commanded us to keep this mitzva; and for no other reason should any mitzva be observed.

Posted on

Vayeitzei – Pesach Seder Dvar Torah in Parshas Vayeitzei

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.

We read in the Haggada of Pesach each year at the seder about an allusion to the covenant made by Hashem with Avraham at the Bris Bein Habesarim: “It is this that has stood by our fathers and us. For not only one has risen against us to annihilate us, but in every generation they rise up against us to annihilate us. But the Holy One, Blessed is He, rescues us from their hands.” The next paragraph in the Haggadah is an example of how in each generation someone tries to annihilate us but haven’t   succeeded: “Go and learn what Lavan the Aramean attempted to do to our father Yaakov! For Pharaoh decreed only against the males, but Lavan attempted to uproot everything as it says (Devarim 26:5) ‘An Aramean attempted to destroy my father. Then he descended to Egypt and sojourned there, with few people; and there he became a nation, great, mighty and numerous.'” This episode originates from the end of this week’s Torah portion of Vayeitzei, where Lavan ran after Yaakov and his family after they escaped Lavan’s house.
The Abarbanel on the Hagadda remarks on these two paragraphs, about the promise that was made to Avraham by Hashem at the bris bein habesarim that he would be exiled and persecuted, but ultimately go out as a mighty and wealthy nation. This occurred not only in Egypt but can happen again,  in each generation; and the proof is that it happened by Lavan. Yaakov worked very hard for his father-in-law Lavan and after twenty years he ran away with his family back to Eretz Canaan, with great wealth and a large amount of flock.
Lavan didn’t proactively do anything wrong to him but go out and learn from his words what Lavan’s intent was against Yaakov. Lavan admitted and said, “It is in my power to do you all harm” (Breishis 31:29). Lavan wanted to wipe them out, to smite each mother with her children and he said to Yaakov, “The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children and the flock is my flock, and all that you see is mine” (Breishis 31:43). Meaning, everything I deserve to have and to do whatever I want with them; but Hashem stopped me as the end of pasuk 29, quoted earlier states, “But the G-D of your father addressed me last night (in a dream) saying, ‘Beware of speaking with Yaakov either good or bad.'” Abarbanel goes on to say that the author of the Haggada is saying that the promise made to Avraham at the bris bein habesarim was fulfilled through Yaakov with Lavan, for Hashem judged Lavan, as it says, “But G-D had come to Lavan in a dream by night and said to him, ‘Beware lest…'” (Breishis 31:24). Yaakov left with great wealth as it had said earlier, “The man (referring to Yaakov) became exceedingly prosperous and he attained flocks, maidservants and servants, camels and donkeys” (Breishis 30:43). Abarbanel concludes: “And just as the promise of the bris bein habesarim was fulfilled for them so shall it be fulfilled for all our troubles in each generation!”

The Avudraham on the paragraph about Lavan in the Haggada says we know that Lavan wanted to wipe out Yaakov and his family because the Aramaic translation of the pasuk ארמי אבד אבי (Devarim 26:5), written by Onkelus, stated, “An Aramean wanted to decimate your father.” This is based on the fact that when Lavan the Aramean ran after Yaakov and reached him, he said to him, “It is in my power to do you all harm.” And because he thought about doing bad, Hashem considered it as if it was done. This is because Hashem considers the bad thoughts of gentiles as if they happened; and the only reason why they aren’t fulfilled is because Hashem annuls their evil ideas and doesn’t allow them to happen. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Avudraham is teaching us a very interesting psychological concept. Every human has free choice, including gentiles; yet the Avudraham claims that the sinister ideas of gentiles they will undoubtedly fulfill, and never change their mind out of remorse,  Hashem will at times stop them from bringing them to fruition. Why is it assumed that all gentiles won’t have remorse for their evil ideas and decide on their own not to do them? Even though Lavan said he could harm them, he didn’t because Hashem told him not to. But wasn’t that still his choice to listen to Hashem!? We see that Bilaam did not listen to Hashem and continued cursing the Jews; so Hashem put into his mouth blessings. But Lavan seemed to have chosen of his own free will to listen to Hashem; so why does the Avudraham and the haggada not give him the credit for making the right decision?

However it must be that in fact Lavan really wanted to kill Yaakov and his family, and that desire never changed; and only because Hashem restrained him and convinced him in his mind to not do it was it not fulfilled. That is why Hashem considered Lavan’s idea as if it came to fruition, ashet would have done if not for Hashem’s intervention. So too, all evil and sinister ideas of the gentiles we can assume are plots that they never plan to change and the only reason why they aren’t successful is because Hashem stops them.

That’s the psychology of wicked gentiles; once they come up with an evil plan they stick to it and don’t want to change. But ultimately Hashem runs the world and their sinister plots are thwarted.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder
Posted on

Toldos – The Embarrassment of Being Yelled At

This Dvar Torah is dedicated in memory of Binah Kasirer a”h, Binah bas Shlomo, may her neshama have an aliyah and may her family be comforted amongst the mourners of Zion.

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.

The Ramban in this week’s Torah portion of Toldos (27:4) relates that Rivka knew through prophecy (See Breishis 25:23) when Hashem told her, “The elder shall serve the younger” that part of it meant that the younger, Yaakov, would be receiving the blessings over the older, Eisav. She didn’t tell this prophesy to Yitzchak, her husband, for three possible reasons, enumerated in the Ramban there. (Click here and here for Hebrew texts.)

When Rivka called Yaakov over to tell him the plan of how he would be disguised as Eisav to receive the blessings, the Torah records, “Now Rivka was listening as Yitzchak spoke to Eisav his son; and Eisav went to the field to hunt game to bring. But Rivka had said to Yaakov her son, saying, ‘Behold I heard your father speaking to you brother Eisav saying, bring me some game and make delicacies to eat and I will bless you in the presence of Hashem before my death'” (Breishis 27:5-7). The Ramban points out there that Yitzchak in fact did not tell Eisav that when he would give the blessings it would be ‘in the presence of Hashem.’ But the Ramban says that Rivka told Yaakov that she knew the blessings would be given by Yitzchak with Divine Inspiration, Ruach Hakodesh. Yaakov followed all the instructions his mother gave him and he successfully received the blessings as was Divinely intended.

 Yet at the end of the parsha it states, “When Rivka was told of the words of her older son, Esav, she sent and summoned Yaakov her younger son and said to him, ‘Behold, your brother Esav is consoling himself regarding you to kill you.'” (Breishis 27:42). The Ramban explains the reason why Rivka had to, “‘send word and summon Yaakov’ is that Yaakov was in a different place, not in the tent of his father and mother because he was hiding from Eisav his brother who was screaming at him. And Yaakov was either embarrassed from him or afraid.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

It makes sense that Yaakov might have been afraid and gone into hiding because, although undoubtedly he was a tremendous baal bitachon, whole heartedly trusted in Hashem; but one can’t rely on miracles and make oneself a target in the open. However, why would he go into hiding out of embarrassment? He did the right thing and the pasuk in Mishley (1:8) says, “Hear my child the discipline of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother.” The Ibn Ezra there says that the wise mother teaches her son how to go on the straight path. The Metzudas Dovid says you should listen to the teachings of your mother. And the Peirush HaRid says that your mother or father would only teach you good, to learn and strengthen yourself in fear of Hashem and fulfilling his mitzvos. If this is the case, then Yaakov, one of the patriarchs, surely was fulfilling a mitzvah of kibud eim, respecting his mother, Rivka, one of the matriarchs, by listening to her instructions so he should not have been embarrassed for the deeds he partook in! So why would he hide out of embarrassment?

However, the Ramban says that Yaakov hid because he was screamed at by Eisav, who was complaining bitterly about him. We see from here that it is totally natural for a person, even Yaakov Avinu, at whatever level of embarrassment it was, to feel embarrassed after being yelled at. It’s only human nature, and being screamed at affected him to such a degree that he felt he had to go into hiding out of embarrassment.

We have to be very careful and sensitive to this fact, that when we get angry or frustrated and want to scream at the person who has angered or frustrated us, realize it will most likely embarrass that person. Is that worth it, or do we want to have on our head the fact that we made this person feel so bad? This might even be a trick to calming one’s anger and frustrations.

Posted on

Chayei Sarah – Making a Scene

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.

When a person feels successful and accomplished,  their reactions vary from person to person. On one end of the spectrum we see people who ‘pump fists and beat chests with a jig,’ priding themselves on how good they are. On the other end we find people humbly thanking Hashem inwardly for the success He granted them. In this week’s Torah portion of Chaye Sarah we find the proper response in these types of situations.

Avraham sent Eliezer, his trusted servant, off to Aram Naharaim, Avraham’s homeland, to find a wife for Yitzchak. When Eliezer found Rivka at the well and sensed that she was the one, the Torah records his reaction: “So the man bowed low and prostrated himself to Hashem. He said, Blessed is Hashem, G-D of my master Avraham, Who has not withheld His kindness and truth from my master. As for me, Hashem has guided me on the way to the house of my master’s brothers” (Breishis 24:26, 27).

The lesson the Ralbag learns from here is, “It’s proper for a person whose thoughts are properly intended and has success in his matters to acknowledge and give thanks to Hashem, for everything is from Him. For this can be utilized to align one’s love for Hashem and to come close to Him as much as possible. Meaning, when it’s publicized that Hashem takes care of mankind, in this way people will put in effort to serve Hashem and come close to Him as much as possible so that they can receive good from Him through His personal care and involvement with them. This is why Eliezer gave praise and gratitude to Hashem for the good that was granted to Avraham in this matter.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
When one lands a good business deal or even aces a test or scores the winning point in a ballgame, it’s basic emuna and bitachon, belief and trust in Hashem that one shouldn’t take the credit themselves for the success they had. Yet, one might think, why make a scene? Just thank Hashem quietly, privately, even in one’s heart. There is no need to flaunt Hashem’s Divine intervention in their life. The humble thing to do would be to keep it to oneself and not have a public reaction that might draw attention. But we see from this Ralbag that Eliezer acted appropriately. He did a kida, which is full-fledged prostration with his whole body, spread on the floor, and bowed again towards Hashem, all in public, for the help he acknowledged Hashem provided in finding Yitzchak’s bashert, his proper soul mate. He made a scene, and the Ralbag says this was proper to do, because it can create an incredible kiddush Hashem.

The times when things are going your way and you feel successful, those are the easiest times to get close to Hashem. It’s easier to love and draw near to Hashem when you can feel He is personally helping, than in the hard times or even the mundane hidden times. Therefore take advantage and show it off to others (of course there are limits, you shouldn’t overdo it).  The litmus test is when you can honestly say that your response is lishem Shamayim, reacting so excitedly purely for the sake of Heaven; then you know you aren’t going overboard.

The Ralbag is teaching us that by showing your excitement and not keeping it inside, one can make a very positive impact on others and will drive them to seek out their own relationship with Hashem and see how He’s positively involved in their lives. This is a tremendous kiddush Hashem, because it’s drawing others closer to Hashem and causing them to love Him more and more. It also creates an opportunity to enhance ones own love and closeness towards Hashem because when you bring people closer to Hashem, Hashem will come even closer to you. The enhancement of love is mutual.

Posted on

Vayera –

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.
Zrizus: A Push to Stay on Target and Focused

Zrizus, zeal and speed but with alacrity, is usually identified as a prerequisite for performing mitzvos. As the famous Chaza”l says: זריזין מקדימין למצוות. However, we find in this week’s Torah portion of Vayeira that Avraham Avinu uses this attribute in an additional way, to ensure that the mitzva even gets done. The Torah states, “Avraham circumcised his son Yitzchak at the age of eight days as G-D had commanded him. And Avraham was a hundred years old when his son Yitzchak was born to him… So, Avraham awoke early in the morning, took bread and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He placed them on her shoulder along with the boy and sent her off” (Breishis 21: 4, 5, & 14).

The Ralbag learns from these pesukim that “it’s proper for a person to have alacrity to perform the mitzvos of Hashem, and not have anything stop him. Also do not forget mitzvos of Hashem because of one’s joy from being graced with good, but one should place the mitzvos of Hashem opposite his eyes constantly. For we see that Avraham Avinu acted with alacrity to fulfill the mitzvos of Hashem and thereby circumcised Yitzchak his son at the age of 8 days just as he was commanded. Even though he was a son of his old age he didn’t find any threat of loss for doing thing. He also didn’t forget the mitzvos of Hashem through so much joy he felt because of the grace bestowed upon him by Hashem for having a son from Sarah at such an old age for him and her. He even stop caring for his son Yishmael and threw him out of his house as Hashem commanded him.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
Avraham used the attribute of zrizus, alacrity, to ensure he performed mitzvos and the will of Hashem quickly and with zeal. As we see from the fact that he got up early to listen to his wife Sarah’s advice, which Hashem commanded him to do, and banished from his home Hagar and Yishmael, who were harassing Yitzchak. He also used this attribute to ensure he circumcised his son Yitzchak at the proper time of eight days old, as Hashem had commanded him,  this zeal helped motivate him to fulfill the mitzva completely and in its entirety.

What is mindboggling is that the Ralbag notes that Avraham needed this attribute of zrizus as a motivation to perform Hashem’s mitzvos, against the joy he received from the fact that Hashem graced him with a child at such an old age. Wouldn’t that feeling of joy, which definitely enlisted feeling of hakaras hatov [gratitude] be a motivating factor to perform the mitzvos of Hashem? Rather than to do the opposite, of hindering the performance of fulfilling the will of Hashem?

We must say that the emotions of joy and excitement can overpower a person to the extent that it disrupts his focus in doing the will of Hashem. Albeit for Avraham Avinu, one who was so close to Hashem, especially at that point in his life, at one hundred years old, we can safely assume that he would have done Hashem’s will of giving a bris. But he may not have done so b’shleimus, with all the complete and proper intent, if not for the fact of the reinforcement of zrizus. What we see is that emotions can disrupt a person’s focus, even if the emotions are directed to Hashem. And using the attribute of zrizus, alacrity, one can refocus his mind on ensuring he fulfills the mitzvos and the will of Hashem properly in all its entirety, in the best way he possibly can.

Posted on

Lech Lecha -Shemiras Eiynayim: A Trick On How To Guard One’s Eyes

In this week’s Torah portion of Lech Lecha, the Torah relates that Avraham had to go down to Egypt because there was a famine in the land of Canaan: “And it occurred, as he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, ‘See now, I have known that you are a woman of beautiful appearance…'” (Breishis 12:11).

Rabbeinu Bachye explains this pasuk “according to the medrish, when it says ‘See now, I have known that you are a woman of beautiful appearance,’ Avraham said to her that normally the travails of traveling depreciates beauty and removes the shine from the face, but you still stand in your beauty, behold I now know you are a woman of beautiful complexion. Chaza”l understood that he had never gazed at her until now. This is because Avraham, out of his great humility, made a covenant with his eyes, just as Iyov said, ‘I had made a pact with my eyes’ (Iyov 31:1). This is because righteous people make covenants with their limbs that they will not damage them just like a person making a peace treaty with his enemies, to not hurt them. Similarly, it writes, ‘You shall not seal a covenant with them and their gods’ (Shemos 23:32). For there is no worse enemy that harms a person then one’s own mis actions….'” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
Avraham Avinu was known to have complete control over his senses. Normally one sees whatever is in front of him. A person would have to turn his head or turn away to not look at something, but Avraham was on a level that he had the sense to not look at things he shouldn’t be looking at. The  Rabbeinu Bachye says that is because Avraham didn’t want to harm his body in any way by doing anything which might be inappropriate. This held true for all of his senses; he was able to control his sense of smell and hearing just like he was able to turn on and off his sense of sight. Even though this goes against human nature, as senses are automatically flooded with things around them. But Avraham worked on himself and made a pact with his body to ensure that he safeguarded himself from anything that might harm him spiritually or physically, just like a nation might make a peace treaty with their enemy to stop hurting each other. His guarding of his eyes from mundane, physical things was so complete and he was on such an unusually high level that he  had never even gazed at his own wife until that point. But when he saw that her face beautifully shinning, even after a long journey, he knew that she was always a very beautiful lady.

 What is interesting to note is that the motivation for his drive to safeguard his eyes from inappropriate gazing was based on his great humility. But wouldn’t it have made more sense for it to have been based on watchfulness (זהירות), which is the middah of not giving in one’s physical desires? Or perhaps even the middah of strength of willpower, as the first mishna in the fourth perek of Pirkei Avos says, “Who is mighty? He who subdues his personal inclination, as it says ‘He who is slow to anger is better than the strong man, and a master of his passions is better than a conqueror of a city” (Mishley 16:32). If that is truly the case, then what does this have to do with humility?

It would seem that Avraham Avinu was indeed using his character trait of immense humility as a motivator to take care of his senses and body. Just like a person who has been in battle with his enemies in a seemingly endless war, one still has to humble and restrain himself from hurting that enemy once he signs a peace agreement or treaty. So too Avraham used his trait of humility to encourage and motivate himself to be extra careful to care for his eyesight and other parts of his body, to not hurt them spiritually or physically in any way. Even though he, as a person, was in charge of himself and could choose to do whatever he wanted with his body, out of humility he realized it would not be right to harm his body. Therefore he made a pact or covenant with his senses and limbs to not harm them. He worked so hard to uphold that covenant to the point that he reached great heights of self-discipline, to the point that he was able to control and turn on and off his senses at appropriate times.

We see how the trait of humility can be used as a motivational force to do the right thing.

Posted on

Noach – The Ultimate Test: Proper Precision


There are many Jews who, even if they aren’t so adhering to Torah observance, still have some level standard of kashrus; at the very least they will not eat pig or shellfish. They understand that Hashem made these foods off-limits and can accept that. For whatever reason they are off-limits and considered spiritually defiling and abhorrent. In fact, they are only spiritually abhorrent, as Chaza”l say that it’s perfectly acceptable for a person to say ‘I would love to have bacon cheeseburger or shrimp cocktail, but what can I do, Hashem says it’s forbidden, and I must listen to Hashem.’ This attitude, that I must abstain from these foods because this is Hashem’s will, is a very positive attitude.

 However, there are some things which one would think can be much more deteriorating to one’s character and abhorrent to one’s spiritual demeanor but is still permissible and sometimes even a mitzva to partake in. Why would Hashem allow it? In this week’s Torah portion of Noach (Breishis 9:20-28) we find the absolutely humiliating and debilitating episode of Noach getting drunk after he left the Ark. He did this initially with very positive intent, giving wine libations to Hashem, but which ended with Cham and Canaan and their progeny cursed for all of history.

The Ralbag learns from this episode that it is appropriate to distance oneself from drinking wine more than the letter of the law, because the results can be degradation, and the loss can be unimaginable. For we see that Noach, who had a much-perfected demeanor, stumbled in this. This also holds true for anything that gets you intoxicated, for example milk and the like. (Click here for Hebrew text.)


 It would seem that even milk has properties that could lead a person to some sort of drunken state, if consumed in excess. I know my rebbe, Rav Avrahom Kanarek ztk”l, use to drink warm milk before he gave shiur and he told me it was because it calmed him. In any event, all the more so hard liquor; one has to be extremely careful about and distance oneself according to this.

Yet we find that the Orchos Tzadikim (Gate of Joy) goes to great lengths describing not only the cons but also the pros of drinking alcohol. “There is another kind of confusing joy which beclouds all of the mitzvos and causes fear of Hashem to depart from the hearts of men – that of the drinkers and revelers at houses of drink. The end of this joy is sorrow, for many ills result from the frivolity of drinking… For wine causes one to be a scoffer and to shout and to be contentious, and all who go astray through it will not grow in wisdom…” On the other hand, “Drinking wine, however, is very good when it is done properly in the manner of the wise… All of this teaches us the benefits of wine when it is drunk in moderation in the manner of the wise, in which case the mind rules over the wine and not the wine over the mind, who drink at set times with friend and acquaintances and with the saintly and the righteous, and not with brutes, and empty-headed people. For wine will increase the wisdom of the deep… The folly of the fool it multiplies… It stirs the hatred of the foe. It makes the giver impart more and closes the miser’s heart more. This is how wine should be used: one should use it as a cure for his sorrow, in order to strengthen himself in Torah by learning with joy, for when one is steeped in sorrow he cannot learn… It is to these ends, then, that the wise man should drink wine, taking care not to drink so much as to be compelled to cancel his work, and his affairs, and above all, not to drink so much as to be incapacitated for Torah study, or for prayers, or to be brought to excessive laughter and lightheadedness. And he should not drink to the point of losing his possessions or quarreling with his friends or breaking vessels or revealing his secrets or those of others… the implication being that we have been commanded to attain only that joy which is conducive to the service of the Creator Of All, and it is impossible to serve the Blessed One out of lightheadedness, laughter, or drunkenness.” (See there in its entirety.)
We see from here that wine can in fact be very positive, as we know it is also used for very holy occasions, like kiddush and havdala. But it can also be very destructive as well; and therefore the Ralbag advises to stay far away from it. Noach, with all his great and positive intent and his perfection in character for the Torah testifies about him, “Noah was a righteous man, perfect in his generation; Noah walked with G-D” (Breishis 6:9), still in all he stumbled and crashed in drunkenness. So why does Hashem permit it?

 It must be that though Hashem did make some things absolutely forbidden, like pig, shellfish, etc. But other things, that might be very devastating, He kept permissible as a test, to see that we use it precisely in the right manner, which is very hard and risky. But this is one example of our job in life, to meet the perfect median in doing things which are in service of Hashem. Though that is also why the Ralbag advises staying far away from it, since the risks are extremely high.
The Torah in general gives similar advice: “I call Heaven and Earth today to bear witness against you: I have placed life and death before you, blessing and curse; and you shall choose life, so that you will live, you and your offspring. To love Hashem, your G-D, to listen to His voice and to cleave to Him…” (Devarim 30:19′ 20). Hashem created man with free will, the ability to choose between good and evil; but he advises us to choose good. This is our purpose in life, to make proper decisions. The general rule of thumb is to err on the side of caution, but the proper approach ultimately is to find a fitting middle ground, which is the success of serving Hashem.

Chodesh tov and good Shabbos,

Posted on

Breishis – Favoritism: First and Last


There is a famous saying: “Save the best for last.” This probably comes from the well-known expression in Hebrew “אחרון אחרון חביב,” literally, “last, last is beloved.” This is quoted in Rashi (Breishis 33:2) from a Breishis Rabba (78:8) which discusses the reason for the order in which Yaakov presented his family to Esav. He first had Bilhah, Zilpah, and their children in a line. Then came Leah and her children, and last was Rochel and Yosef. Rochel was known, as mentioned in the Torah, to be Yaakov’s most beloved wife, and Yosef the closest of his sons, who Yaakov cherished, got close with, nurtured, and gave over all his wisdom to, more than to any of his other sons. (Whatever that truly means, because the differences in giving attention were subtle, though noticeable).
On the other hand, the Torah begins with The Creation in the parsha of Breishis.

In fact, we find in the Pirkey DiRebbe Eliezer (perek 3) that seven things were created before the world was created: (1) Torah, (2) Gehinnom, (3) Gan Eden, (4) Kisei Hakavod (The Holy Throne of Hashem), (5) Beis Hamikdash, (6) Teshuva (repentance), (7) and the name of moshiach. The Beur Maspik (also know as Toras Habayis) proclaims that the fact that these were created before the creation of the world shows that they are more beloved before Hashem, above everything else. This seems to be a contradiction to the famous axiom quoted above. However, we must say, at least taking it at face value, that things in the beginning or at the end are most beloved. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

In any event, we have to realize and appreciate these seven things that are so beloved by Hashem, for if they are beloved by Him, then they should be beloved and cherished by us, Hashem’s children and servants, as well. What is showing love? It is showing an interest, curiosity, and care for what you love. It is cherished, on your mind constantly, you are attentive to it, dedicated, and yearning for what you love. These feelings make sense and should be felt for the Torah, the Beis Hamikdash, repentance, the Holy Throne of Hashem, Gan Eden, and even the name of Moshiach. All of these things represent the greatness of Hashem and the relationship that man can achieve with Hashem, which is the whole purpose of creation. Even Gehinnom is most beloved by Hashem, but not because He is cruel; maybe because Gehinnom is the means to purify the blemished soul so that it is deserving to be close to Hashem in Gan Eden, in addition to being a deterrent. By going through sefarim like Medrish Kitapuach BiAtzei HaYa’ar, which gives a glimpse of the tortures of Gehennom, or the 20th perek of Tanna Dvei Eliyahu Zuta which discusses Gehennom as well, or the mussar sefer Reishis Chochma for example, this can be seen as a major deterrent from sin. The bottom line is that all these things have the ability to create a very powerful and close relationship between Hashem and His creations; therefore it’s beloved by Him and should be beloved by us.

Posted on

Vezos Habracha – Mitzva: Commandment or Way of Life.

One  must admit that being shomer Torah and Mitzvos, delving into the profundities of Torah and observing its mitzvos, is not easy. It takes a lot of dedication, consistency, and hard work. One motivation to keep going, and never give up, is the last mishna in Pirkei Avos: “לפום צערא אגרא”, according to ones efforts will be their reward.

We find another motivation in the final parsha of the entire Torah, Vezos Habracha, that we read on Simchas Torah. In Moshe’s final address to the Jewish People, “He said: Hashem came from Sinai, having shown forth to them from Seir, having appeared from Mount Paran, and then approached with some of the holy myriad, from His right hand He presented the fiery Torah to them” (33:2). The end of this pasuk in Hebrew is ” אש דת למו.” The Sifri comments on these words, “אלמלא דת נתנה עמה אין אדם יכול לעמוד (לעמול) בה.”
The Raavad brings down two versions of what this statement means and, depending on the version, is whether the word in the parenthesis is used in place of the word before it. The Raavad’s first understanding is that “דת” means “דעת,” a mind; that Hashem puts into the minds of people who are involved in learning, intelligence, and knowledge in order that they can understand contradictions. Meaning “אלמלא”, if not for the fact… that Hashem gave people a mind [they would not be able to comprehend His Torah and mitzvos.]
The other version suggests that דת is the same as the pasuk in Esther 1:13 “דת ודין,” meaning law and judgment. What it means by “אלמלא…”, is that  Hashem did a kindness for us, that He didn’t give [the mitzvos] as a law [i.e. commandments], for if He would have given the mitzvos to us as a law, then a person would immediately be punished and he would not be able to get involved and toil [in learning]. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Raavad is showing us two more motivations, to not give up on being shomer Torah and Mitzvos. First is that Hashem gifted us with a mind to understand the laws and depths of Torah; not only that but He helps those who want to learn Torah and understand it by putting intelligence and knowledge into our brains to help us think. So don’t give up! Secondly, Hashem, out of His infinite kindness, did not create the Torah as a lawbook for if transgressed deserves immediate execution for rebelling against the king.  Hashem, all knowing, immediately sees if it’s transgressed by an individual. He doesn’t need a court case to deliberate whether the law was broken or not, or how severe it was; and therefore if the Torah would be law then a transgressor would deserve immediate punishment. However, the Torah, which is the blueprints of creation, is in fact the handbook or guide for mankind, and what’s perceived to be and called reward and punishment is in fact consequence, measure for measure, of our action, speech, and thought. Therefore it’s worth being shomer Torah and mitzvos, because why wouldn’t you want to follow the Infinitely Benevolent Hashem’s will, who just wants the best for you, and is not out to just enforce the law!

What doesn’t make sense is that it sounds like from the Raavad that if the Torah was strictly a lawbook, and transgressing it would be immediately punished, then they wouldn’t learn it. Shouldn’t it logically be the opposite? If a person knows that breaking the law is immediately punishable, then wouldn’t they be very meticulous and diligent in their learning to ensure properly application of the law in order to not get punished?
It would seem to be human nature that one might get overwhelmed and give up in a situation like this. They might give into the pressure instead of being extra vigilant to do the right thing and live. Therefore, out of Hashem’s love and ultimate kindness, He didn’t create laws that would mean that if transgressed they would deserve immediate punishment for rebelling against the King Of All Kings. Rather, He created a guidebook with consequences, both good and bad, so that people would be interested and driven to learn about how to do the right thing and live a qualitatively well-to-do life.

Posted on

Haazinu -False Sense of Independence

One would think that a state of peace and tranquility, everyone living in harmony and satisfaction, without any risk of starvation or thirst in the world, would be an ideal state of existence. However, we see from this week’s Torah portion of Haazinu that this is not necessarily true.
The Torah states: “Jeshurun became fat and kicked. You became fat, you became thick, you became corpulent and it deserted G-D it’s Maker” (Devarim 32:15).
The Malbim explains that the simple understanding of this pasuk is “when people become fat due to aforementioned delights they begin to be lacks in serving Hashem just like an animal, because of being overstuffed with food given to him he will kick when he is given more food, as if showing he doesn’t want it and your goodness. When these people are in the greatest shape and health then they will completely leave serving Hashem and will live the rest of their lives with delight of mankind [and fun]. Once they are lenient in serving Hashem and cling to the delights then they will start doing disgusting things and everything Hashem has commanded not to do, to the point that they will do chillul Hashem, profaning Hashem’s Name because Hashem is the Rock of their salvation, and to do disgusting things will be profaning His Great Name…”

The Sifri points out that throughout history when  people have become satiated they have rebelled. “They rebelled out of food, drink and tranquility.” The Sifri lists and proves how this happened time and time again. By the generation of the flood, by the people of Sedom, by the Tower of Babel, by the generation of the Jews in the desert, by the children if Iyov, by the ten tribes, and by the Jews who were warned before entering the land of Canaan, that they should be careful lest they become satiated and rebel. By the Tower of Babel the Sifri says “Hashem warned them that because of the good I have bestowed upon you, you have become haughty.” The Raavad there comments that the pasuk about the people of Babel that ‘and it was that the land was all one language’ means that they were satiated and tranquil, as the meaning of the verse ‘and they were grazing in the marshlands’ (Breishis 41:18). When there is satiation in the world there is brotherhood and peace in the world. By Sodom the Sifri says “they had food, silver, and gold and they decided because of that not to be nice to other people who visit them. Hashem said because of the good I have bestowed upon you, you decided to forget basic decency with dealing with others, therefore I will cause you to be forgotten from the world.”

The Sifri later says “And so it will also be found that in the days of Moshiach they will only rebel because of food, drink, and tranquility, what is said about them? ‘And Jeshurun became fat and kicked’. It can be compared (משל) to a person who had a calf. He would rub it, scratch it, and feed it so that it would plow for him. As it got older the owner put a yoke on the calf; it leaped and broke the yoke, and snapped the ropes attached to the yoke.  About this the pasuk says, ‘You have broken wooden bars’ (Yirmiyahu 28:13). The Raavad has a blaring question on this Sifri. How is it possible that in the days of Moshiach Jews would be rebelling? He answers that it must be the Sifri is referring to the rest of the nations of the world and not the Jews (even though Jeshurun is normally referring to the Jews). He concludes that this fits well with a few lines later in the Sifri which discusses the three generations before Moshiach comes. The Sifri says there, “‘You became fat, thick and corpulent’ refers to the three generations before the days of Moshiach as it says ‘Its land became full of silver and gold, with no end to its treasures; its land became full of horses with no end to its chariots. Then its land became full of false gods’ (Yeshayahu 2:7,8).” The Raavad comments at this point that this is referring to the three generations of gentiles right before the advent of Moshiach. That because of their wealth they will go overboard in rebelling and will be haughty, with their false gods and statues. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
One would think, using logic, that the opposite should be true. When people are neglected, abused, and depreciated, then rebellions unfold and uprisings take place. Which is true to one extreme. But the other extreme, when people are living the life of luxury and they have ample food and drink to live in harmony and peace with each other, having fun and enjoying the good life, even though this is all a blessing from Hashem, time and again we see that people forget Hashem and act in the most despicable ways. Why is this? Wouldn’t one think that if Hashem gives so much good to us we should have such a recognition of that good that we should thank Him and feel a sense of gratitude, indebted, and ready to do anything for The Giver of all that good? Imagine everyone unified, like in the generation of the Tower of Babel, and instead of waging war against G-D they said thank you to Him. Yet the medrish says they were ingrates, haughty because they had everything. Why does this happen?

It would seem that when we get a taste or a feeling of independence then it’s a part of human nature, and seemingly as well animal instinct, to want to rebel and deny or forget where all the tranquility, all the food, drink, and satiation came from. This is not to say that when people are “pampered” and are given wealth and riches, ample food and drink, peace and happiness, Hashem sets people up to be bad and do the wrong thing. Rather, it is simply a big test for people to overcome that taste of independence. To remember, rather, the importance  of having  a feeling of dependency on Hashem,  because He in fact provides everyone with all their needs and without Him the world would just cease to exist.

Working on one’s emunaand bitachon, belief and trust in Hashem is a means or a reminder where everything comes from, and building our proper intent, kavana in davening will keep that faith in Hashem constant.

May you be sealed in the Book of Life this Yom Kippur, & Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder