Imagine if you, as parents, went away for a few days and left your 8 children, one of them being adopted, with a caregiver. Their ages are 15,12, 10, 8, 6, 5, 4, and the adopted one is 13. The parents left on their trip, and the caregiver went to the grocery store before she came, to pick up a few items. The 15-year-old was in charge until the caregiver got there. Which is fine because the 15-year-old is old enough to watch for a few hours. The caregiver is taking her time to get to the house and the kids are getting a little antsy. But the 15-year-old keeps them calm. And then, the 13-year-old adopted child, who is known to be a troublemaker but all in all is a good kid had an idea. He was getting a bit nervous so he told his siblings that he has an older friend that can come over and take care of them because this other babysitter must not be coming. He calls his friend, and the guy comes over. He is a drug addict, spiked hair, earrings in other places besides his ears and tattoos. He starts handing out drugs to the kids. The 15-year-old does not know what to do but he plays along and spins the joint between his two fingers without taking a puff. The parents look at the cameras they have in their house to check on how their children are doing and are appalled at the sight! They call the caregiver to runover right away. She walks into the house, sees the scene in front of her and drops all the packages in her hands. The police are called, the guy is arrested, and the drugs confiscated. The adopted child, the parents felt, had to be removed from the house and put back into a home. What would you do as parents if this happened to you?
This is a pretty good comparison, mashal, to what took place in this week’s Torah portion of Ki Sisa by the sin of the golden calf, where the Eirev Rav, those that left Egypt with the Jews supposedly pledging allegiance to G-D, but were the ring leaders of the movement to replace Moshe with the golden calf as leader of the people because he wasn’t coming back after 6 hours into the 40th day from when he went up to Mount Sinai to receive the Torah. Aharon tried pushing them off and waste time but they took over the situation and wreaked havoc until Hashem told Moshe there is havoc down there in the camp, hurry go down, and when he went down and saw what was happening he dropped the two tablets of Ten Commandments he was carrying, eventually destroying the idol and killing whoever was directly involved and Hashem was ready to wipe out the entire Jewish people and start anew with Moshe Rabbeinu.
Rabbeinu Yona in a drasha he said to his congregation found in the Sefer Drashos Upeirushei Rabbeinu Yona al HaTorah explains Hashem’s reaction and Moshe’s response and how Moshe advocated on behalf of the Jewish nation before Hashem. “And it says that He does judgement kindness, and righteousness in the land. For we find that He did a great kindness to our forefathers when they left Egypt, and by Mount Sinai, and He spoke to them from Heaven. And He told Moshe Rabbeinu go up this mountain to Me and I will give the tablets of stone etc. (Shemos 24:12). He did all this in order to turn them into a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. This is called kindness, just like it says in Tehillim (89:3) ‘A world of kindness He shall build.’ ‘And He prepared with kindness the Throne’ (Yeshayahu 16:5). After this when Moshe seemed to have been delayed coming back down the mountain, the sin of the golden calf occurred. They wanted something they could gather around and to be their leader to replace Moshe. For they said, ‘get up and make for us an elohim’ (which can mean a judge). That is why Aharon didn’t take his life to ensure he would not be involved in it and only the rest of the nation deserved to be destroyed. So, then Moshe Rabbeinu got up in prayer and said ‘Why Hashem have you become furious?’ Meaning, don’t become furious, as it says similarly, ‘Why should I be dead in your eyes’ (Breishis 47:19). [Moshe went on and said] ‘that You took them out of Egypt.’ This is to teach us that if one does a kindness for another, he has to be able to deal with the iniquities done afterwards in order to uphold the original kindness. [Moshe also] said ‘and with great strength etc.’ He asked of [Hashem] to raise upon them the power of mercy as it says, ‘Please raise the power of Hashem… Slow to anger and much kindness’ (Bamidbar 14:17, 18). [Moshe also] said ‘The Egyptians will say etc.’ Not that there was a concern about what the Egyptians would say just that Moshe and his children would become a great nation. We learn from here that one should be concerned about what others would say and should not do something which would lead to being the laughing stalk of others even if what you do is justified.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
Rabbeinu Yona gives 3 reasons of why Hashem should not act furiously against the Jewish People. 1. Because it wouldn’t be right to get rid of someone who You originally saved. 2. Arouse mercy in Yourself. 3. The Egyptians will make fun of You. But why are those justifications and how does it sound right? The Jewish People betrayed Hashem and Moshe. This was fresh off of Hashem taking them in to be His nation and children. Why do they deserve to have mercy? They didn’t live up to their original expectations and it’s not like Hashem took them in for a long time and after a while they made a mistake, so it looks bad to get rid of them after raising and molding them for a long time. Whereas here, just getting them and they made a major mistake just means it was like a bad sale so it’s understandable that He would just give them back or get rid of them? Furthermore, who cares what other people say? Hashem is the King Of All Kings, He proved His might and force with the plagues. He proved He means business and He has high standards of what’s right and wrong so it’s understandable that Hashem would severely punish us and get rid of us even after He just saved us and what the Egyptians would say if they would say anything is meaningless.
It must be that these were all reasons that Moshe gave to arouse mercy on Hashem’s children, though they might deserve severe punishment and really what the Egyptians would say is meaningless but in the context of how a father should react to the actions of his children, Moshe made these points as an advocate for His children towards their Father in Heaven.
That doesn’t mean that Moshe was asking for a free pass. Rabbeinu Yona goes on to explain a few other claims Moshe made to Hashem on behalf of the Jewish People and in the end Rabbeinu Yona writes, “After He taught Moshe the 13 attributes of mercy, Moshe went back and asked Hashem ‘if it finds favor in His eyes, if He can please walk amongst us?’ But it wouldn’t be the same kind of walking as originally planned. Originally [Hashem] with His Honor would have walked amongst them but now He would only rest His Shechina amongst them, as it says ‘I will walk in the Tent and in the Mishkan’ (Shmuel Beis 7:6) and it says ‘And I will walk amongst you’ (Vayikra perek 26). And it says, ‘For they are a stubborn nation,’ Meaning even though they are a stubborn nation. ‘And You will forgive us…’ Meaning, since the Shechina will be amongst them they will not further sin. And it says, ‘we will be an inheritance’ Meaning, You will place us as an inheritance for You when You will rest amongst us. It also says in the prophets, ‘Hashem chose Yehuda as His part on the Holy ground and chose Yerushalayim again’ (Zechariah 2:16).”
Hashem didn’t just give a free pass, out of His abundance of mercy to the Jewish People. There were consequences for their actions, namely they could have had the Shechina resting amongst them throughout the entire camp. A feeling of bliss and holiness would have been felt consistently by everyone on a level quite incredible. They lost their chance to have a “buddy buddy” so to speak type of relationship with Hashem but rather Hashem just rested His Shechina over the Mishkan as like a knowing eye constantly watching over them to deter them from sinning.
We learn from here a very important lesson on how to deal with loved ones who we are responsible for but might have gotten into trouble, maybe even severe trouble. The first thing one has to do is remember that you have been taking care of them until now so you have a sense of responsibility for them and should not give up on them so quickly. Then you should arouse mercy on them, and one can think about how others will look at you for lashing out and severely punishing a loved one, as a means to calm yourself down. But that doesn’t mean he or she should get a pass for what they did. One can’t just be “buddy buddy” with them you have to show your authority while showing love and keeping an eye on them, making sure they know your presence is felt to ensure they don’t make mistakes at least for quite a while. (This applies to the party involved that just joined in but the ring leaders might deserve and need a more severe punishment as we see what happened to the Eirev Rav in the nimshal or the adopted child in the mashal I gave.)
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder
Ki Sisa – Traumatic Fear
In this week’s Torah portion of Ki Sisa we have the infamous episode of the sin of the golden calf and Aharon’s involvement. What was going through his mind, what exactly did he do, and how much was he really involved?
The medrish Pirkei diRebbe Eliezer (45) paints a picture of what enfolded: “Rebbe Shimon ben Yochai said that when Hashem revealed Himself to Moshe from within the bush and sent him to Egypt, Moshe said before Hashem, ‘Master of the World swear to me that whatever I ask of You to do, You shall do, so that I won’t say something to Pharaoh, You won’t do it, and he will kill me.’ He swore to him that whatever request he makes he will fulfill except for two things: going into The Land, and not dying…
When the Jews accepted the commandments, after 40 days they forgot their G-D. They said to Aharon, the Egyptians use to carry their god, serve it and sing before it and they saw it in front of their eyes. Make us a god like the god of the Egyptians etc. They went to the friends of Moshe, Aharon, and Chur, the son of their sister (Miriam)…
Since Chur (on his father’s side) was from the tribe of Yehuda, and was one of the leaders of the generation, he started rebuking the Jews with harsh words. The lower echelon of Jewish society stood up against him and murdered him. Aharon saw that Chur was murdered and he built an alter as it says, ‘And Aharon saw’. What did he see? That Chur, the son of his sister was murdered, and he built an alter as it says, ‘And he built an alter.’ Aharon judged a judgment by himself and said, ‘If I tell them to give me gold and silver, immediately they will bring it, rather I will tell them to give me the earrings of your wives and children and then the whole plan will be spoiled’, as it says, ‘And Aharon told them to take off etc.’ The women heard this, did not want to, and didn’t accept to give the earrings to their husbands. They said we don’t want to be involved in making such a decrepit and disgusting thing that has no power to save us. (The Be’ur Maspik [in some editions it is called Bayis Chadash] explains ‘that what was going through Aharon’s mind was that women and children are more protective of their jewelry and will refuse to give them up, and in the meantime Moshe will come down and the whole situation will dissipate.’ In fact the women were against the whole plan of their husbands.) Hashem rewarded them with a reward in this world that they observe Rosh Chodesh more than men do (by not doing strenuous work, like laundry, on the new month). They also got reward in the World to Come in that they would be resurrected (the Mishna in perek Chelek of Sanhedrin lists the men of the generation in the desert as those that have no share in the World to Come.) The men saw that their wives were not listening to them to give the earrings to their husbands. What did they do? At that time they wore earrings just like Egyptians or Arabs did, they took theirs off and gave them to Aharon… Aharon found amongst all the jewelry a head band of gold which had Hashem’s Holy name written on it and also a picture of a calf inscribed in it. That was the only thing he threw into the pot of fire. As it says, ‘they have gave to me’ ‘and I threw them into the fire’ it does not say after that but ‘I threw it into the fire.’ (Assumingly, with something so holy, Aharon was assuming or hoping that nothing wrong will come out from it.) The calf came out mooing and the Jews saw this. Rebbe Yehuda says Samel (Satan) entered into it and started moving to seduce the Jews… the Jews saw it and started to kiss it, bow down and sacrifice to it.”
The rest of the Medrish goes on to say that Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu that the Jewish people forgot His limitless power and all the wonders He did for them in Egypt and at the Red Sea, and therefore they are not My people anymore but they are yours to deal with. Moshe took the tablets of the Ten Commandments which were carved out by Hashem and the Holy letters were carrying the tablets on their own. When Moshe came Towards the bottom of the mountain the letters flew off the tablets and the tablets became too heavy for Moshe to carry so he dropped them to the bottom of the mountain. He then went over to Aharon, seeing what was going on, and asked him, ‘What did you do to this nation? You uncovered them like an adulterous woman that was caught!’ Aharon said back to Moshe, ‘I saw what they did to Chur and I was very much afraid!’ Moshe found that the princes of each tribe and the entire tribe of Levi had no involvement in the golden calf. He took the golden calf, and crushed and burned it to smithereens. He took the ashes, mixed them in water, and forced the Jews to drink it. Whoever had gold lips after they drank showed that they kissed the idol with all their heart, so Moshe ordered the Leviim to kill them. Around 3000 people give or take were executed. Then Hashem sent down destructive angels to wipe out the entire nation and Moshe Rabbeinu had to pray, using the 13 attributes of mercy, in order to save the nation from destruction. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
If not for Aharon “playing along” with the heathens, none of this would have happened. Aharon was a rodef shalom, someone who ran after peace, always dealing with people and their plights and skirmishes. He knew how to talk in a convincing way to make sure everything worked out and was peaceful at the end of the day. Why couldn’t he do the same in this circumstance? Nicely tell them this is inappropriate and the wrong thing to do. Granted, his nephew, Chur, was just slaughtered by these people, but he spoke quite harshly to them. Aharon, the great tzadik, beloved by all, and leader that he was, should have been able to talk them out of it instead of using subterfuge, which didn’t work. How could it be that he didn’t think that even if the women and children refused, the men would act fast and donate their own jewelry to the cause?
Yet the Beur Hamaspik says that Aharon actually saw Chur murdered in cold blood in front of his eyes, as we see at the end of the pasuk. This appears to mean that what Aharon was doing was purely for the sake of Heaven, as he said, “a holiday for Hashem there shall be etc.” That is why the medrish was wondering what he actually saw. And therefore the medrish taught that the pasuk was bringing a defense for Aharon. What did he see to listen to them to make the golden calf? He saw Chur slaughtered before his very eyes and he was afraid lest they do to him what they did to Chur.
We can infer from this medrish and the comments the Be’ur Maspik makes on this medrish that if Aharon would not have seen his nephew, Chur, viciously slaughtered in front of him, then Aharon would have stealthily convinced them to not make the golden calf, rather than going along with their idea with a trick which he hoped would delay the making.
We see from here the impact seeing a traumatizing experience can do to even the greatest of people and the ramifications it has on the masses. Aharon wasn’t held responsible for anything that he did or resulted because he wasn’t trying to do anything wrong and his intent was purely for the sake of Hashem to try to divert the evil plans from coming into fruition but if not for the impact of what he saw he could have made better choices which would have resulted in the sin of the golden calf never happening and its ramifications would never have reverberated until this very day.
Ki Sisa – In the Courtroom of Hashem
In this week’s Torah portion of Ki Sisa we witness the sin of the Golden Calf and the tragic ramifications it had on the Jewish people and the world throughout history. After Moshe came down from Mount Sinai and broke the tablets it says: “Then he took the calf they had made, burned it in fire…on that day some three thousand men fell from among the people…And now, if You forgive their sin But if not…Behold My angel will go before you. But on the day I make an accounting [of sins upon them], I will bring their sin to account against them…” Then the Lord struck the people with a plague… The Lord spoke to Moshe: “Go, ascend from here… And Moshe took the tent and pitched it for himself outside the camp, distancing [it] from the camp, and he called it the tent of meeting, and it would be that anyone seeking the Lord would go out to the tent of meeting, which was outside the camp” (Shemos excerpts from perakim 32, 33).
The Ralbag learns a lesson from these pesukim in relation to middos
. This is that it is not befitting for a person to ask
forgiveness for a sin on behalf of others, as long as the sinner still is
holding on to the sin. For this reason Moshe only requested from Hashem to
forgive the Jew’s sins after the golden calf was destroyed, and the
rebels killed. However, since not all the rebels were completely wiped out at
that time, and although Hashem accepted his words, he said that those who had
sinned against Him should be erased from His Book, and the rest of the rebels
who followed the calf should be plagued. But Hashem promised Moshe that He
would not take away their inheritance of The Land because of their sin. In this
manner He forgave their sins. However Hashem still had not attached to them His
Personal Divine Providence, hashgacha pratis, lest they would sin to
him. For Hashem brings bad to those He loves as rebuke, and they escaped from
that bad as Moshe requested, but the bad that automatically came as part of the
system of consequences eventually caught up with them; as it says: “But on the
day I make an accounting [of sins upon them], I will bring their sin to account
against them” (Shemos 32:34). This destiny Moshe did not try to save them
from, since it is inappropriate for a person to ask forgiveness for a sinner
while the sinner is still holding on to the sin. Therefore Moshe did not
request that Hashem’s Personal Divine Providence, hashgacha pratis,
would cling to the Jews as long as their hearts were far from Him. Rather, he
conducted himself with reprimand by distancing his tent from them until they
subjugated their hearts and returned to Hashem. After that he requested that
Hashem’s Personal Divine Providence would cling to them.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
If you analyze the Ralbag carefully you’ll see that there are two stages of
dealing with the sin which are being addressed here. We are going to gain a
slight glimpse into how we can approach Hashem with our sins. First and
foremost, in order to even ask Hashem to forgive us, we must remove
ourselves from the sin we have committed, for Hashem doesn’t simply overlook
sin for no reason. The perpetrators must take steps to fix the problem before
Hashem begins to forgive, and possibly forget. For this reason Moshe destroyed
the idol and sent the Levite family to murder all the primary accomplices. Only
then was Moshe able to begin to daven to Hashem to not annihilate the Jewish
people and to promise that they would still inherit The Promise Land, The Land of
Israel.
However that wasn’t enough, because there are underlying reasons and intents
for any sin, which are harder to get rid of. But in this case, in order for
Hashem to apply his Divine Providence on every individual as a person, and not
just as a collective, they had to be cleansed of the underlying emotion that
caused them to sin to begin with.
This itself is a telling lesson, for it seems, according to the Ralbag, that
because of the consequence of our actions, Hashem out of his love and mercy for
His precious children, will not shine His Personal Divine Providence on a
sinner who has not psychologically changed his mind, since it would just do
more harm than good. This is because of His close relationship with his
righteous children; it would behoove Him to rebuke us in order for us to mend
our ways.if He was so close to us, therefore Hashem does not give special
individual attention to His children when they are sinning, in order to not
give dangerous rebuke that is deserved.
For this reason Moshe removed himself from the camp, as if to show his own
disgust in their actions, so that they will humble themselves and remove the
haughtiness which caused them to sin.
Why did Moshe get involved in this manner by separating his tent from the rest
of theirs? Wouldn’t it have been sufficient just to lecture them and verbally
take them through the process of how to properly conclude their teshuva, the
repentance process of clearing their minds and hearts of any lingering evil
intent, no matter how minute it was? Especially since it is really unimaginable
at this point that they weren’t humiliated enough for the sin they had
committed, especially after they reached such heights at the receiving of the
Torah just days before, and then realizing how they quickly came crashing down
with the sin of the golden calf, they must have already felt utter
embarrassment and disgrace before Hashem as is. Why did Moshe have to dig it in
more by separating his tent from the rest of them?
We can learn a very important lesson in how to treat our children, students, or
anyone, when they have done something wrong and you want to help them correct
their ways. That is, that the most effective way to help a person change is not
just to tell them what they did wrong and how to fix it, or even to lead
by example, but to put them into the position that they will be forced
to figure out, on their own, how to fix the problem. It will make a greater
impression on them in the long run, even if they are feeling betrayed in the
short term. For this reason, even though the Jewish People must have already
begun to feel a tremendous amount of remorse over what they were involved in
but Moshe separated himself from them so that they will come to the realization
that they had to be even more humiliated in order to wipe out any negative
feeling inside them and to completely humble themselves.