Category: Food for Thought

זכרון ציפה תרצה – The Food for Thought Archives in blessed memory of Celia Rosenberg a”h

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Vayigash –  Segregation


The Shulchan Aruch in the beginning of the laws about Pas Yisrael (Yoreh Deah 112:1) says that the rabbis forbade Jews from eating home-baked bread made by a non-Jew, even if all of the ingredients are kosher and made in clean pans, because of intermarriage. Even if a priest dedicates himself to celibacy, and therefore does not have children, a Jew may not eat his bread because the Rabbis are concerned that if we get too friendly with them (i.e. sharing food or even buying and selling home bake goods) then we might come to marry their daughters or their acquaintances’ daughters. There is even an argument in the Shulchan Aruch on this topic as to whether we can eat from commercial bakeries owned by non-Jews, assuming everything is kosher. Most people are lenient and do in fact eat from non-Jewish-owned commercial entities because there is a disconnect between the seller and buyer, so there are no concerns about intermarriage. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

 The source of this rabbinic decree might have come from this week’s Torah portion of Vayigash according to the Sforno. After Yoseph reveals himself to the brothers and sends for his father and the rest of the family to move to Egypt, “G-D spoke to Israel in night visions and He said, ‘Yaakov, Yaakov.’ And he said, ‘Here I am.’ And He said, ‘I am the G-D, G-D of your father. Have no fear of descending to Egypt, for I shall establish you as a great nation there…’” (Breishis 46:2, 3). The Sforno on pasuk 3 explains Hashem message to Yaakov, “I, Who told your father to not go down to Egypt (Breishis 26:2), tell you… If you remain here your children will intermarry and become absorbed by the Canaanites, but in Egypt they will not be able to do so, because the Egyptians may not eat bread with the Hebrews (Breishis 43:32); therefore they will be a separate, distinct people, as our sages state, The pasuk ‘And he became there a nation’ (Devarim 26:5), teaches us that they were distinguished there.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Sforno gives a very fascinating explanation of why Hashem told Yaakov not to be afraid about going down to Egypt. His family would be better off there, because there would be no need to worry about the issue of intermarriage and assimilation since the Egyptians would not want to mingle with them as it says in last week’s Torah portion of Miketz, “They served him separately and them separately and the Egyptians who ate with him separately, for the Egyptians could not bear to eat food with the Hebrews, it being loathsome to the Egyptians.” The Sforno explains there that Yosef “sat in his own room so that his brothers should not sense that he was also a Hebrew and because the Egyptians may not eat bread with the Hebrews therefore, he did not eat with his brothers, nor did he or his brothers eat with the Egyptians.” As a result, when Yaakov and his family came down to Egypt there was no concern of intermarriage because the Egyptians stayed away from them, and the Jews became a distinguished nation, to that effect as the Sforno concluded, quoting what we read in the Pesach Haggada. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

However, in the Pesach Haggada there is a different interpretation by various commentaries as to what it means that ‘they were distinctive there.’ The Kol Bo says all the Jews lived in one place, Goshen (which Pharaoh had in fact given to their great great grandmother, Sarah Immeinu many years back). They also wore their own style of clothing so that they wouldn’t mingle with the Egyptians. The Ritva in fact says that they wore tzitzis, and the Abarbanel adds that they kept their Hebraic names, spoke Hebrew, and dressed in their usual garb. If that is what kept them apart from the Egyptians and stopped assimilation, why couldn’t they do the same just living in Canaan? Why did they have to move to Egypt (barring the decree of exile, which the Sforno ignores anyways)? They could have lived in a ghetto in Canaan, spoken only Hebrew, have only Jewish names, distinctive clothing and even wear tzitzis to remind them of Hashem’s mitzvos. Their parents, grandparents, and great grandparents instilled this in them the emphasis of no intermarriage, which Avraham and Yitzchak went out of their way to emphasize is a big no-no; so why did they have to go to Egypt to escape the threat of intermarriage? (Click here for Hebrew text.)

We see from here how grave of a threat and temptation intermarriage is, even for the grandchildren of our forefathers. So much so that Hashem had to reassure Yaakov that the best thing for him and his family would be to move to Egypt. What then is the solution?

We see from this Sforno that the best solution is not to just dress, speak, act, and live differently from the non-Jews, because they still might be attractive to us and find a way into our society. The best thing is segregation. When they feel they can’t be close to us, that keeps them away, and makes us distinguished and distinctive. From the fact that Hashem assured Yaakov that segregation was the best thing for him and his family, it must mean that that was not a reason for anything bad to happen to them in Egypt, i.e. that was not the cause for the Egyptian bondage. On the contrary, we saw with Yoseph that the Egyptians and Hebrews were able to get along quite fine, even if they could not eat together. The slavery was a Heavenly punishment that was discussed already previously in parashios; therefore we see that segregation, the attitude that Jews and non-Jews can’t mingle with each other, not that it is negative but the acknowledgement that we are different, might very well be the best way to stop the threat of intermarriage.

Good Shabbos and easy fast of Asara b’Teves,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

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Miketz – Hats and Jackets

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.

 In the beginning of this week’s Torah portion of Miketz, Pharaoh had two dreams which he insisted needed interpretation. Eventually the Chamberlain of Butlers remembered that Yosef was in jail, and how he had rightfully interpreted his dream and the dream of the Chamberlain of the Butchers. The Torah then details, “So Pharaoh sent and summoned Yosef, and they rushed him from the dungeon. He shaved and changed his clothes, and he came to Pharaoh” (Breishis 41:14).
The Moshav Zekeinim, rightfully assuming that Yosef, like his forefathers, kept the entire Torah, asks a penetrating question. The gemara in Rosh Hashanah 11b says that Yosef got out of jail on Rosh Hashanah; if so, how could he have shaven on Yom Tov? The Moshav Zekeinim has two answers; either he shaved the next day or because of the life-threatening danger of the kingship, the circumstances were different, and he was allowed to shave that day [in order not to risk his life by coming in front of the king in a disrespectful manner]. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The Ralbag learns from this episode “that it is proper for when one comes before a great person, that he should adorn himself with nice clothing and doing other things, as much as possible, to glorify the great people. In this fashion as well, one’s words will be more listened to. For this reason, Yosef shaved and changed his clothing when he came before the king. And for this reason, the great chasidim (righteous people) would adorn themselves [in their best clothing] when they davened before Hashem, in His honor. Just as Chaza”l interpret the pasuk, “This is my G-D and I will beautify him” (Shemos 15:2 in “az yashir”). (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The great righteous people of yesteryear, who lived a thousand plus years ago, must have worn what is the equivalent today of a tuxedo when praying before Hashem. Because of their level and relationship with Hashem, the King Of All Kings, they realized that if Yosef was allowed to break Yom Tov to not risk his life in order to show respect to a worldly king, Pharaoh, then all the more so they should dress their very best whenever davening before The King Of All Kings, Master Of The Universe. Now a days people wear jackets and hats when davening for that very reason, but at the very least one should be put together, shirt tucked in, etc.

It would seem, according to the Ralbag, that Hashem would not listen to our prayers as closely if we weren’t put together and well dressed in front of Him. Why not? If a person prays very slowly, thinking of each word and has deep kavana,[proper intent], then why isn’t that enough? Hashem knows what’s in everyone’s heart and why should outward appearance be a deciding factor as to whether to acknowledge and listen to a person, like  human kings do? However, it would seem that not dressing appropriately in front of Hashem while praying shows a lack of dedication, respect, and honor towards Hashem. Wanting to dress in a way that feels comfortable to yourself, instead of in a formal respectful manner, is caring more for yourself than the honor and reverence of a leader and certainly of the ultimate leader, G-D, and Hashem of course calculates that in one’s intent.

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Vayeishev – The Negative Drive for the Easy Life


Many people get a thrill out of taking risks, finding in it enjoyment or pleasure of some sort, even if it means risking one’s life. It can be as seemingly innocent as riding a roller coaster or hiking up a mountain, water skiing, snowboarding, or even more thrilling activities like bungy jumping, sky diving or even worse drinking or taking drugs. Where does this urge to take a risk come from, and why do people feel it is worth it?

In this week’s Torah portion of Vayeishev we find the scene that leads up to the selling of Yosef to Egypt: “And his brothers went to pasture their father’s flocks in Shechem. And Yisrael said to Yosef, ‘Are your brothers not pasturing in Shechem? Come, and I will send you to them.’ And he said to him, ‘Here I am.’ So he said to him, ‘Go now and see to your brothers’ welfare and the welfare of the flocks, and bring me back word.’ So he sent him from the valley of Hebron, and he came to Shechem. Then a man found him, and behold, he was straying in the field, and the man asked him, saying, ‘What are you looking for?’ And he said, ‘I am looking for my brothers. Tell me now, where are they pasturing?’ And the man said, ‘They have traveled away from here, for I overheard them say, Let us go to Dosan.’  So Yosef went after his brothers, and he found them in Dosan” (Breishis 37:12-17).

The lesson the Ralbag learns from these pesukim is that, “It is not befitting of a person to seek out pleasure (enjoyment) because that will lead to placing oneself in danger. For we see that the children of Yaakov, when searching for a place of pasture for their father’s flock, and it appeared to them at first glance that in Shechem they will find good pasture, as well as having an easy time to find food for themselves, so they were inspired to go there and overlooked that that was a place of grave danger, for what they had done to the people of that city. They were there for a bit and then decided to leave from there. Because of this Yosef was sent after them and this was a reason for why our forefathers went down to Egypt and the Egyptians enslaved them with harsh labor for an extremely long time.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The brothers, Yaakov’s sons, grew up in a household of simplicity and mesiras nefesh [self-sacrifice], to do what was right, as we saw by the way Yaakov lived in Lavan’s house. They themselves were righteous, and there is zero indication anywhere that they were bad people. If you examine their intent, it was for the sake of taking care of their father’s flock, not even their own, and just to be able to eat. The Ralbag says nothing about indulging in delicacies or stuffing themselves, just of being able find an easy bite to eat. They also had to have known the dangers of the area. (I have a dvar Torah many years ago which depicts the battles from surrounding neighbors from the aftermath of the episode in Shechem, based on a Yalkut Shimone. Click here for the dvar Torah and here for the text of the Yalkut Shimone in Hebrew). If this is the case, how could they have gone wrong, and why was what they did so bad that it was treated as one of the catalysts for the Egyptian exile and servitude?

We must say that they erred on a very miniscule level, and due to their stature Hashem punished them the way that He did. The issue obviously was not that they had a problem with overindulgence and a drive to just enjoy themselves at any cost. But rather, on some minute level, they had this attitude of having a drive to “seek out pleasure,” which clouded their decision making and made them decide to first go to Shechem because it was more enjoyable and easier to find food there for themselves and their flock. When Yaakov heard where they were he got concerned and sent Yosef out to see if they were okay, and that is what spiraled into the Egyptian exile. If they would not have been clouded by this drive to seek out pleasure on this tiny level then they would have been able to think clearly and not worry their father and history would have somehow been different.

Good Shabbos and Happy Chanukah,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

  • (Interesting tidbit: This is one of the rare Shabbosim that Chanukah falls out on the Torah portion of Vayeishev. Usually it is on Miket. If both Cheshvan and Kislev have 29 days, then Hanukkah will begin on Friday. Only the Sabbath of Vayeshev will fall during Hanukkah, and the Sabbath of Miketz will not be during Hanukkah; this is the only case in which this will occur and where Miketz‘s proper haftarah will thus be read).
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Vayishlach – Torah Scales

The Orchos Tzadikim at the end of the Gate of Miserliness brings two episodes from this week’s Torah portion of Vayishlach to demonstrate how a person must live by the traits of magnanimity and miserliness throughout their lives, switching from one trait to the other when appropriate. “The good in this quality is that the miser does not throw away his money on foolishness and at times is restrained from committing grave sins. Then, too, because he deprives himself of good things, he does not affect the arrogance often found in the generous person who, because of the good that he does and the pleasure that he gets from it, sometimes rebels against his Creator. Therefore, a man should be careful with his wealth; he should be generous where generosity is called for, but where it is not proper for him to give, let him be miserly and withholding. Let him weigh all this in the scales of the Torah. Let him learn from Yaakov, our father, who was miserly without parallel as it is said, ‘And Yaakov was left alone’ (Breishis 32:25), and our Rabbis, of blessed memory, said that he had forgotten some small jugs and returned to get them. This teaches us that the righteous value their money more than their bodies because they do not get their money easily through plunder (Chullin 91a). Behold this great miserliness — that a man as rich as Yaakov felt compelled to return for some little jugs. Yet we find in another place that he was generous without parallel, as our Rabbis taught, ‘In my grave which I have dug for me’ (Breishis 50:5). This teaches us that Yaakov took all the silver and gold that he had brought from Lavan’s house, and he made a pile and said to Esav, ‘Take this for your share in the cave of Machpelah’ (Shemos Rabbah 31:17). Was there ever anyone else as liberal as this? From this a man can learn that he should not squander his money on useless things and to no purpose. However, when it comes to fulfilling a mitzva, for example, dispensing charity and other mitzvos which involve expense, such as acquiring a teacher, a companion or books, he should be very liberal in order to attain lofty qualities. He thereby restores the soul to its place of purity so that it will be bound up in the bond of life, as it is written, ‘Yet the soul of my master shall be bound up in the bond of life’ (Shmuel Alef 25:29).”

Towards the beginning of this week’s Torah portion Yaakov goes back for some small jugs he had left behind, endangering himself and ultimately getting into a fight with Eisav’s ministering angel. Yaakov felt it was worth going back because “the righteous value their money more than their bodies,” as the Orchos Tzadikim quoted from Chullin 91a. The Aley Orach, commentary on the Orchos Tzadikim explains, “that because he earned everything through toil and hard work, as Yaakov mentioned to Lavan in last week’s Torah portion, ‘This is how I was: By day scorching heat consumed me, and frost by night; my sleep drifted from my eyes’ (Breishis 31:40). All this in order so that there would not be any concern that their (the righteous’) money was acquired through stealing. Their money is mehadrin min hamihadrin kosher, and therefore it is so beloved to them.” Yaakov’s money was more precious to him than his body, because he recognized the effort and hard work he put in to acquiring it honestly. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

Towards the end of the Torah portion the Torah briefly discusses the passing of Yitzchak: “And Yitzchak expired and died, and he was gathered to his people, old and fulfilled of days; his sons Eisav and Yaakov buried, him” (Breishis 35:29). The Medrish Rabba (Mishpatim 31:18) elaborates on an episode that happened right after the burial, between Yaakov and Eisav. “When Yitzchak died Yaakov and Eisav came together to split all his property. Yaakov said (to himself), ‘This wicked person will, in the future enter Maaras HaMachpela with his children, and will have a share in the burial plot with the rest of the righteous buried there.’ [Yaakov] immediately got up and took all his money on hand, made a pile, and said to Eisav, ‘My brother, do you want the share in this cave that you have, or do you want this gold and silver?’ At that moment Eisav said, ‘A burial place can be found anywhere, and for one burial plot I have in this cave I should lose all this money?’ [Eisav] immediately got up and took all the money and gave [Yaakov] his portion.” The Anaf Yosef points out that Yaakov did this so that Eisav wouldn’t have a portion and living space for his body amongst the righteous, for its not comfortable for a righteous person to have a wicked person buried next to him. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
Yaakov was known as an “ish tam yoshev b’ohalim,” “A wholesome (innocent) man, abiding in tents” (Breishis 25:27). Rashi there says he learned in the tent of Shem and in the tent of Ever. In fact, after Yaakov received the blessing before he went to Lavan’s house, Yitzchak had instructed him to learn in Yeshiva of Shem and Ever for 14 years. We see that Yaakov was very learned and must have known how to weigh every situation in his life very carefully.  We also see that Yaakov in one instance was very scrupulous with his money, to the extent that one might say he was acting frugally by going back for such insignificant items; but as we saw in the Orchos Tzadikim, there was a valid reason for what he did. On the other hand, we also see that he was magnanimous with his money, willing to give away piles of it just to ensure the right thing was done in the burial spot of the forefathers, and not for the intent of getting that spot for himself, even though he deserved it.

What Yaakov did, the Orchos Tzadikim says, is an example of how we should live our lives. But why does the Orchos Tzadikim emphasize here, more than any other place in his book, that a person should, “weigh all this in the scales of the Torah.” Shouldn’t that always be true for any decision made in life?

However, the Orchos Tzadikim at the end of the Gate of Haughtiness says that while one might have to go to the opposite extreme in order to get rid of a bad character trait, one should end up at a healthy median for pretty much all character traits. Granted, finding that healthy median isn’t so simple, and the Orchos Tzadikim in his introduction emphasized that one always has to use his seichel, mind, and constantly learning and figuring out how to ensure one is doing the right thing. However, when it comes to one’s money, and when to be frugal or when to be giving, which are constant decisions that could very well result in opposite extremes, depending on the circumstances, the Orchos Tzadikim emphasizes that one should weigh all this in the scales of the Torah. Since there is no proper median to these traits, and fluctuating circumstances constantly come up, a reminder and emphasis must therefore be made, to always weigh the options as exact as possible based on proper Daas Torah.

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Vayeitzei – Kindness is Life


  The Chofetz Chaim in the forward to his Sefer Ahavas Chesed enumerates the places in the Torah that describe acts of kindness. There is one listed in this week’s Torah portion of Vayeitzei: “And also in the portion of Vayeitzei, ‘And Yaakov swore an oath saying etc. And all that you give to me I will surely tithe to you’ presumably that is referring tithing for tzedaka (charity) and chesed (kindness).”
 The Torah states the complete vow Yaakov expressed to Hashem, “Then Yaakov took a vow, saying, ‘If G-D will be with me, will guard me on this way that I am going; will give me bread to eat and clothes to wear; and I return in peace to my father’s house, and Hashem will be a G-D to me, then this stone which I have set up as a pillar shall become a house of G-D, and whatever You will give, I shall doubly tithe to You'” (Breishis 28:20-22). The Radak explains every step of this oath. First off, he points out that Yaakov made a vow on condition but that the condition wasn’t added because he chas vishalom doubted in any way that Hashem might not follow through with His end of the deal. Rather, it was a scare tactic that Yaakov performed on himself to ensure he didn’t sin and would be undeserving of the fulfillment of the oath, which would mean he would not wind up returning home and fulfilling his end of the vow. Yaakov asked specifically just for “‘bread to eat and clothes to wear;’ he did not ask for anything extra, just what he needed to live. He didn’t need to ask for water because a person can always find water for free everywhere.”

The Radak goes on to explain that Yaakov asked to return home in peace, which means with a wife and children, for without them there would not be peace in the family since it was known that he was not able to marry someone from Canaan. So if he had come home still a bachelor his parents would not have been too happy. Yaakov also asked that Hashem would be His G-D, meaning he wanted the opportunity to be able to have time alone to serve Hashem, without the burdens of dealing with worldly matters his entire life. He also swore that the stone pillar he erected would one day be the House of G-D, meaning this spot would be the place where his descendants would build the Beis Hamikdash and set up the alter for all the services to Hashem, and for praying to Him and no other.

Yaakov finally, in conclusion, swore “‘and all that you give to me I shall doubly tithe,’ meaning I will give a tenth of all my belonging and flock that was given to me, and I will give them to people who needs them so that they will become G-D fearing and serving Him. They said (in Breishis Rabba 70:7) that also on his children he would take a tithe, and so Levi was that tithe for he was involved with the service of Hashem more than the other brothers and Yaakov learned with him in private and gave him the secrets of wisdom and the Torah… the Rabbis (in Kesubos 50a) learn from the double connotation of עשר אעשרנו, the double tithe that one should not give to tzedaka from his property more than a fifth, based on this pasuk, for 2 tenths is a fifth. This limit is in order so that one will not have to need others to support him.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 Yaakov Avinu was a very pure and learned person who always wanted to do the right thing and understood that he was taking an oath to ensure he would be deserving of its fulfillment. Vows aren’t taken lightly in Jewish Law, it is a very serious business. Yet what Yaakov Avinu said seems to be a contradiction which doesn’t make sense. He first asks for the bare minimum to live, then he says if You, Hashem, fulfill my wishes then I will give a fifth of all my property to people in need. But if he takes a fifth or even a tenth of his bare necessities and gives it away then he would be needing help from others to support him. And the gemara in Kesubos says one should not put himself in that position, based on this very episode; so how do we resolve this contradiction?

However if you look closely at the Radak he says, “he only asked for his needs, in order to live.” It must be that part of living is the ability to give. Yaakov Avinu included in his oath that he should be able to have enough to take care of himself, his family, and still have the ability to give a fifth of his property to the needy. That’s the bare minimum, because being able to give is part of life which one cannot live without.

In the same vein the Ralbag learned from Yaakov’s request, “that it’s not appropriate for people to be overwhelmed with a lot of things but rather be satisfied with just one’s needs. For you see that Yaakov Avinu only asked for his needs, which were bread to eat and clothes to wear.” We must say that the Ralbag would also conclude that being able to give to the needy is a fundamental need which is part of what Yaakov was asking for. What is interesting to note, in conclusion, is that Yaakov didn’t just ask Hashem for a lot of stuff and the patience, ability, and where with all to take care of all the stuff, but rather just enough to take care of himself and to still be able to give a fifth of his property to others. Just as he asked for the minimum because he had faith in Hashem why couldn’t he ask for a lot more, with the faith that Hashem will help him take care of all of it? We learn from here that the test of dealing with one’s abundance of money is much more overwhelming than dealing with taking care of yourself and the family while just making ends meet. One shouldn’t test himself and ask for a lot, if Hashem wants to provide a lot that is because one has the potential to handle it and serve Hashem properly, then Hashem will provide, but to ask from Hashem it is best to ask for simplicity, and part of the simple life is giving. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

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Toldos – Genuine Peace Treaty


There was another famine in the land of Canaan like in the times of Avraham Avinu in this week’s Torah portion of Toldos. Yitzchak then went down with Rivka to Gerar in the land of the Philistines, by what is today Gaza. The Philistines have disappeared from the face of the Earth and should not be mixed up with modern Palestinians, who are a totally different people.

Hashem specifically told Yitzchak not to go to Egypt and rather to the place where Hashem would indicate Yitzchak should sojourn. This wound up being Gerar, where Avimelech, the King of the Philistines ruled. Eventually the Torah records, “And Yitzchak sowed in that land, and he found in that year a hundred-fold, and Hashem blessed him. And the man became great, and he grew constantly greater until he had grown very great. And he had possessions of sheep and possessions of cattle and much production, and the Philistines envied him. And all the wells that his father’s servants had dug in the days of Avraham his father the Philistines stopped them up and filled them with earth. And Avimelech said to Yitzchak, ‘Go away from us, for you have become much stronger than we.’ And Yitzchak went away from there, and he encamped in the valley of Gerar and dwelt there” (Breishis 26:12-17).

Yitzchak continued to dig wells in the Valley of Gerar, and the herdsman of Gerar quarreled with him. Eventually Yitzchak settled back in Be’er Sheva, and King Avimelech goes after him and wants to make a peace treaty. At first the Torah mentions “And Yitzchak said to them, ‘Why have you come to me, since you hate me, and you sent me away from you?’” (Breishis 26:27). Ultimately Avimelech made a successful peace treaty, which is a model for any authentic peace treaty.
The Ralbag teaches us how this is a model lesson in the proper and real way of signing a peace treaty. First the Ralbag points out a lesson that “it is befitting for a person to have patience for the honor of Hashem in order to fulfill His command. As we see Yitzchak, because Hashem commanded him to sojourn in Gerar, had to be patient with the fact that the Philistines were trying to anger him as much as possible, and still he did not leave the area until the king forced him to leave.” What’s an even more incredible lesson is that when King Avimelech did confront Yitzchak to make peace, for he saw that Yitzchak was blessed and successful due to his close connection to Hashem, Yitzchak’s initial reaction was anger and rebuke. The Ralbag learns from Yitzchak’s response an important lesson in honesty, “that a person should not be thinking one thing and say something different. For we see that Yitzchak didn’t flatter Avimelech when he came over to [Yitzchak], but rather he rebuked him for confronting him after [Avimelech] showed hatred toward him and sent him away.”

But Avimelech was a good negotiator, and we should learn a lesson from what he did. First off, the Ralbag learns, “it is inappropriate for one who is seeking peace to approach with a massive army and a strong arm because this type of peace won’t ever happen, rather it is fearmongering. It is not heartfelt, coming from the depth of one’s soul, and it is the opposite intent of peace. This is why you’ll find that Avimelech, though he was king, only brought with him two people to beseech peace from Yitzchak, and they were Achuzas [his friend] and Phichol, the general of his army. Besides this, it was just proper manners to not over burden Yitzchak when they came to eat and drink with him. The Ralbag also points out that it’s not appropriate to ask a favor for a loved one unless it’s in the same measure than what you would do for him. For this reason, Avimelech only requested from Yitzchak to not do bad to him just as [Avimelech] wouldn’t do to [Yitzchak].” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
We find nowadays peace negotiations with threats and various unreasonable requests, which seem to be getting nowhere. The threats and unreasonable requests are what cause peace negotiations to fall apart. We see from the way Avimelech handled things, that he came with only two others, not intimidating, not overbearing, and though he was a powerful king, he only requested as much as he would do himself. We see that the key to a successful peace treaty is to not be a burden on the other party.

If Avimelech had come, trying to instill fear into Yitzchak and not out of genuine love, then he would have been a burden. Bringing too many people with him, that Yitzchak would have to host, would have been a burden. Asking for more than what he himself would be willing to do would have been a burden. Therefore Avimelech in the end made peace, though at first Yitzchak, doing the proper thing, did not flatter Avimelech and gave him what was on his mind. The Torah concludes this confrontation, “So he made a feast for them, and they ate and drank. And they arose early in the morning, and they swore one to the other, and Yitzchak escorted them, and they went away from him in peace” (Breishis 26:30, 31).

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Chayei Sarah – The Impact of a Kind Deed


Yishmael was prophesied and known to be a pere adam, a wild man, as the Torah says, “And he will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be upon all, and everyone’s hand upon him, and before all his brothers he will dwell” (Breishis 16:12). He was the predecessor of the Arab world.
The medrish PirkeiDiRebbe Eliezer (perek 32) mentions that “there were six people whose names were given to them before they were born, Yitzchak, Yishmael, Moshe Rabbeinu, Shlomo, Yoshiyahu, and the name of moshiach, whom G-D will bring speedily in our days… How do we know Yishmael? For it says, ‘And you will name him Yishmael’ (Breishis 16:11). Why was he called Yishmael? For in the future Hashem will listen to the groaning of the nation from what the children of Yishmael will do to them in The Land at the end of days, that is why he is called Yishmael [which literally means G-D will listen], as it says, ‘G-D will listen and He will answer’ (Tehillim 55:20).” The commentary, Bayis HaGadol points out that the pasuk says why he was called Yishmael, for an angel said to his mother, Hagar, when she was originally sent away from Avraham and Sarah’s house, “Behold, you will conceive and bear a son, and you shall name him Ishmael, for Hashem has heard your affliction” (Breishis 16:11). However, Avraham, on his own called him Yishmael as well because of the prophesy he saw at the end of days of Yishmael’s descendants causing Avraham’s descendants [through Yitzchak] to moan and be heard by G-D. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The Bayis HaGadol then references to an early chapter, perek 30 in Pirkei DiRebbe Eliezer. There it says, “And furthermore Rebbe Yishmael said, there will be 3 wars of riots that the children of Yishmael will do in The Land at the end of days. As it says (Yeshayahu 21:15), ‘For, because of the swords they wandered;’ and swords refer to war. One will be in the forest as it says there, ‘because of the raging [battle] sword.’ One will be in the sea, ‘because of the bent bow’ (the Bayis HaGadol explains that battles at sea must be fought with arrows not swords). And one will be in the great metropolis within Rome (some editions have in their text “Aram” which was around the Syrian/Iranian area), which will be more intense than the other two [battles] as it says there, ‘and because of the pressure of war.’ And from there the son of David will sprout out and will watch the destruction of the wicked, and from there he will go to Eretz Yisrael as it says, ‘Who is this coming from Edom, with soiled garments, from Bozrah, this one [who was] stately in his apparel, girded with the greatness of his strength? I speak with righteousness, great to save’ (Yeshayahu 63:1).” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
Although this medrish is very esoteric and we won’t fully understand what it meant until after the fact, we see clearly that Yishmael and his descendants were and are like “a thorn in the flesh.” Yet the last Medrish Rabba in this week’s Torah portion of Chayei Sarah depicts one lasting kindness that Yishmael did. The Maharz”u points out that this medrish is of the opinion Yishmael was wicked his entire life and never repented. Therefore, the medrish asks why he was deserving of having his age of death and lineage of descendants spelled out at the end of this week’s Torah portion?

The Maharz”u aptly further points out that the Torah wanted to spell out his age of when he died in order to be able to calculate Yaakov Avinu’s age, which could have been mentioned in a later portion but it was mentioned here because of a kindness that Yishmael did to Avraham Avinu, his father. The Medrish says, “What did the Torah see to write the age of this wicked person here? For he came from a distant part of the desert to be kind to his father [by paying his last respects and helping to bury him after he passed on].” The Rada”l explains further that Yishmael lived in the desert of Paran, which is a vast desert in the south of Israel and Yishmael might have lived in a place called Gadgod which is near Etzion Gaver, in the southeast by the Land of Edom. He traveled all the way to Beer Sheva, where Avraham Avinu passed away, to pay his last respects and do a kindness to his father. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
This is quite astonishing! It would seem that Yishmael was really not deserving of having his age or lineage of his descendants listed at all in the Torah, except for the fact that it would have helped in calculating Yaakov’s age. Which means it should have been mentioned much later, like by the Torah portion of Vayigash or Vayechi; yet because of this kindness that he performed, the Torah, when formulated within earthly time by Hashem and given to Moshe at Har Sinai, wrote Yishmael’s age and lineage because of the kindness he did. And it was written next to Avraham Avinu’s death just to hint to the kindness this wicked person, whose descendants have not been any better throughout the generations, had done. How powerful is even a simple act of kindness in the eyes of Hashem!

Think about it! Yishmael didn’t even do a majorly helpful act of kindness. He just said goodbye to his father on his deathbed and attended his funeral, probably even to help bury him, even though Yitzchak himself with many of his servants and followers could have done it themselves without Yishmael’s help. Yet it was worth “changing” the entire Torah just to point out this act of kindness!
If this is how an act of kindness of a wicked person is treated all the more so can one imagine the value and importance of every single kindness a fellow Jew does, a prince of the King Of All Kings, what an impact it must have in the “eyes” of Hashem.

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Vayera – Defining the Truth

 Hashem by definition is completely truthful. This is proven in the Orchos Tzadikim at the beginning of The Gate of Truth: “Truth: The soul is created from the place of the Holy Spirit, as it is written (Breishis 2:7): ‘And He breathed into his nostrils the soul of life.’ It is hewn from a place of purity and created from the Celestial Radiance, from the Throne of Glory. And there is no falsehood above, in the place of the Holy of Holies, but all is truth, as it is written (Yirmiyahu 10:10): ‘And Hashem G-D is truth.’ I have found it written (Shemos 3:14): ‘I will be what I will be’ [אהיה אשר אהיה], and (Yirmiyahu 10:10) ‘Hashem G-D is truth; He is the Living G-D and the Eternal King.’ Derive from this that G-D, the Holy One Blessed Be He is truth; for the word [אהיה], whose gematria [numerical value] is 21, is found 21 times [21×21=441 which is the gematria of emes, truth.] And the gematria of the word אהיה itself is 21 [ so that אהיה אשר אהיה, being understood as a compounding of אהיה, would, in itself, give the same result.] G-D made man to be just [see Koheles 7:29], and Shabbos 55a: ‘The seal of the Holy One Blessed Be He is truth.'” (Click here for Hebrew text.) However, in this week’s Torah portion of Vayera we find a very puzzling episode. Sarah just overheard one of the 3 angels who were visiting, saying that she would have a child one year hence, and the pesukim say (Breishis18:11-13): “Now Avraham and Sarah were old, well on in years; the manner of women had ceased to be with Sarah. And Sarah laughed at herself saying, ‘After I have withered, I shall again have delicate skin. And my husband is old!’ Then Hashem said to Avraham, ‘Why is it that Sarah laughed, saying: Shall I in truth bear a child, though I have aged?'” The Medrish Rabba (Vayera 48:18) points out, “Bar Kafra said, peace is so great that even the verses speak in falsehood in order to ensure peace between Avraham and Sarah. And Sarah laughed at herself saying, ‘After I have withered, I shall have delicate skin. And my husband is old!’ To Avraham this was not said, rather ‘why did Sarah laugh saying how will I give birth for I am old.’ The verse did not speak the same as what Sarah said, ‘for my master is old’ but rather ‘for I am old’. “ (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The Yefeh Toar  observes that the medrish did not interpret Sarah’s statement as a question, which means she called herself old and withered and Avraham just old. Hashem said in place of her statement that she said ‘I am old’ because that is what her whole statement about herself really meant, and Hashem didn’t bother mentioning that she said ‘my master is old’ because He was just summarizing what she said, which in that case means that Hashem really did not lie at all. However, the Yefeh Toar points out that the medrish goes out of its way to clearly explain that Hashem actually changed Sarah’s words for the sake of peace. If that is the case, then how do we explain that Hashem lied or spoke falsehood? The Yefeh Toar specifically writes that Hashem changed His words, and in fact the medrish says the Torah writes it as if He spoke falsehood, in order to teach us a lesson in the importance of peace. How is this possible? 
Nevertheless, I heard from a talmid chacham, Rabbi Yitzchok Kolsky shlit”a, that if by changing words it will result in doing Hashem’s will, then those words are the truth, it is not a lie. Hashem’s will is to ensure peace amongst people especially between husband and wife; therefore changing what she said which appears to be falsehood is warranted and is therefore considered truthful. However, that does not mean a person can always lie for the sake of peace, because people pick up on it and it backfires a lot, which can make things worse and is obviously not the will of Hashem.

There is a story I heard of a couple who came home after a trip Thursday night and her mother, who was recovering at home from a procedure, offered to make Shabbos meals for them. The daughter said no, she had everything she needed, even though she actually had nothing prepared for Shabbos, as she didn’t want to trouble her mother who had a procedure. Yet she also felt wrong for just lying to her mother. Her husband decided to ask his rabbi if she did the right thing. The rabbi thought it was a good question and asked Rabbi Fuerst shlit”a what he thought. Rabbi Fuerst shlit”a said that one is allowed to lie if it will improve his or her middos [character traits]. He quoted a gemara in Bava Metzia 23b which states there are 3 circumstances (besides for the sake of peace) that one is allowed to lie. One reason is out of proper character, for example, in terms of a tractate of gemara, if one is asked if he is fluent in a certain subject matter, he can lie and deny it out of humility. For this reason, Rabbi Fuerst said that because this wife was respecting her mother, and was concerned for her health, she was allowed to lie.

 However, the Orchos Tzadikim in the conclusion of The Gate of Falsehood, after quoting this gemara concludes, “And in all these cases where the sages permitted deviation from the truth, if one can manage without lying it is better that he do so. For example, if he is asked, ‘Do you know this tractate?’ He can answer, ‘Do you really think I know it?’ If he can push off the questioner in this way without lying, it is better that he does so rather than lie outright. He should follow this practice in all his affairs. If he does so, happy is he and happy his begetter.” It seems clear from all this that one has to be extremely careful when deviating from the truth, and the litmus test is whether one is confident that he is doing the Will of Hashem. If he is doing the will of Hashem, then that is considered the truth; but that is very hard to figure out. Therefore one must be extremely careful in this matter, and not use it as an excuse to lie, except in very rare and well-calculated circumstances.

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Lech Lecha – Unity: Acknowledging Your Piece of the Puzzle

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.
 The Rosh on this week’s Torah portion of Lech Lecha explains a gemara in Nedarim 32a that discusses an argument about why Avraham was punished by his descendants being enslaved for 210 years in Egypt. Shmuel says it is because he questioned Hashem’s decree when he said “How am I to know that I will inherit it” (Breishis 15:8). The Rosh explains that the way he expressed himself, the words that came out of his mouth, was inappropriate (not that he actually felt in his heart what he said). (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The other answer given by Rebbe Abahu in the name of Rebbe Elazar is because he recruited Torah scholars to aid him in the war against the four kings, as the Torah states “and he mobilized his trained men, those who were born in his house” (Breishis 14:14). The Rosh explains that Avraham Avinu was punished for sending his students, who he taught mitzvos to, as his vanguard in war. (Click here for Hebrew text of gemara Nedarim.)
Avraham joined the war of the four kings verse the five kings in order to save his nephew Lot who was captured. It was a personal matter of life and death and the Ra”n in Nedarim says the problem was that he took his students who he taught Torah into war, and Rashi there describes that he taught them Torah like a person who poured liquid from one vessel into another, that is how he taught them Torah. These people were obviously close confidantes of Avraham who he trusted as the best soldiers to weaponize for war to save his nephew, Lot. Why should he be punished for the decision that he made? Anyone else that he could have recruited, let’s say his normal servants (besides Eliezer who was his most trusted servant, which one opinion in that gemara holds was the only other person who joined Avraham in battle.) or outside friends or mercenaries, who says they could be trusted? His students were the closest ones to him who could be most trusted; so why was Avraham punished?

It would seem that those that were learning Torah were meant to be staying and learning. Each person has a purpose in life and has their own role in contributing to the fight. The Torah student’s role is to accrue merits for the fighters through their learning and prayers that brings spiritual protection to the fighters on the front line.  Taking them away from their main role, on some slight, minuscule level, was a lack of faith in Hashem’s choice for giving individualized purpose to every person. In fact, the Rosh in Nedarim says the real sin was clearly stated as being questioning Hashem, as Shmuel said but Rebbe Abahu in the name of Rebbe Elazer held that this sin of sending the Torah learners out to war was the precursor punishment that allowed Avraham to fall into the trap of questioning Hashem of saying the expression “bameh aidah“.

We see how important it is for everyone to acknowledge that each individual has a certain purpose in the world, to recognize that purpose and to excel at it as much as he possibly can because that is Hashem’s destiny for that individual.

Sending the Torah student to war would be like requiring someone to always walk on their hands. Granted it’s possible and the more one works at it the better he’ll become but a person is not supposed to walk on their hand. Hands are made to work with, and feet are made to walk with, each one has their own purpose, and one will be a much better walker or runner by foot than by hand no matter how much practice he has.

It is possible that some people’s purpose is to learn Torah and to go out into the battlefield to fight. Everyone’s purpose is not black or white, it could be gray, but the point is that one has to figure out and then excel at their own purpose in life and others cannot criticize if someone is doing something different than them if that is supposed to be their purpose in life since everyone is different and has their own unique role in the world.

We are all like a piece of a puzzle, each piece is different and belongs in a specific place some pieces are similar to each so you know they belong in that area but they each have their own unique role, and when unified the complete picture can be seen and understood.

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Noach – The Balance Between Bitachon & Hishtadlus

What made Noach such a big tzadik, a righteous person, that only he and his family deserved to survive the flood?

The pesukim in this week’s Torah portion of Noach twice mention that Noach was a tzadik before he entered the ark. The portion begins, “These are the offspring of Noach, Noach was a righteous man, perfect in his generation; Noach walked with G-D” (Breishis 6:9). Then in the beginning of the next perek the Torah states, “Then Hashem said to Noach, ‘Come to the ark, you and all your household, for it is you that I have seen to be righteous before Me in this generation'” (Breishis 7:1).

The Ralbag tells us that the Torah “is informing us about the secrets of Hashem’s Divine Providence over man in specific terms and in general terms. For belief in them directs a person towards much perfection, besides the fact that the Torah in general is built upon it. This is what the Torah is teaching us when it said, “And Hashem said, ‘My spirit shall not contend evermore concerning Man since he is but flesh’ (Breishis 6:3), for the flood which was most incredibly bad, was still [Divine] providence on mankind, for He did not prevent them from reaching perfection, which is the purpose of creation just as originally. And the Torah is teaching us by saying, “because with him I saw a tzadik before Me in this generation,” for the tzadik is protected by The Blessed Hashem with incredible protection to save him from bad things that should rightfully come upon him, just as was explained by the saving of Noach and the protection Hashem gave him in this wonderful story. And if there would have been another tzadik besides him, he would have been saved with him, from the fact that the Torah goes out of its way to explain the reason why he was saved, which was that Hashem saw a tzadik before Him. What follows is that if there would have been another tzadik besides him, he would have been saved with him, to the point that if the entire generation would return to Hashem and leave their bad ways, they would have all been saved.”

 It would seem from this Ralbag that what defined Noach as righteous was his incredibly high level of belief and trust in Hashem and His Divine Providence, both in general and specifically in his individual life. Because the faith of a tzadik is so incredibly intense and focused, so too the Divine Providence Hashem has over this person is more direct and personalized. Yet Hashem did not just create a force field around him and his family to save him from the elements with food from heaven. Rather, Hashem instructed Noach, “Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; make the ark with compartments and cover it inside with pitch… and as for you, take yourself of every food that is eaten and gather it in to yourself etc.” (6:14, 21). The Ralbag points out that “The Torah is already teaching us an incredible lesson by telling us of the command Noach was commanded, of making the ark in this exact fashion with specific parameters so that he will be protected, as well as collecting food which will be enough for while he is in the ark. There is an incredible lesson that can be learned [from these instructions] which is that even the righteous man who is guaranteed protection by Hashem should not be lax in preparing provisions for his household and to take action in the proper fashion just because he trusts in Hashem that he thinks it will be found for him food and health. All the more so all the other people should not be lax [in one’s hishtadlus, effort]. Chaza”l say, when it says, ‘in order so that Hashem, your G-D shall bless you,’ one might have thought this is true even if he sits around doing nothing, therefore it teaches you [one is blessed] ‘in all that you will do.'”

One would think that if a person is on such a high level of faith and trust in Hashem, that he is considered a tzadik under Hashem’s Divine protection, then he should not have to put in too much effort into life. In a sense, any hishtadlus [effort] is the antithesis of the highest levels of belief in Hashem’s Divine Providence, for one must believe that everything comes from Hashem and Hashem can do absolutely anything. So, if the more one trusts in Hashem the less he should have to do, and on the contrary the more personal effort one puts in the less of a connection one might think he has with Hashem! Case in point, Moshe went 40 days and 40 nights without eating, for he was on the highest level of belief in Hashem, “face to face”. Wouldn’t one think that that would be the level a tzadik like Noach might be on, if the Torah attests that he was righteous? Or at least on the level of the Jews of the desert who received manna from heaven, drank water from a rock and had Divine Protection by the Clouds of Glory!? Yet Hashem expected Noach to go to great efforts to build himself, his family, and all the animals an ark with exact dimensions, and to collect enough food for everyone.

How much exactly is the requirement for the effort one puts into his life and how does that balance with the concept of emuna and bitachon? Rabbeinu Avraham, the son of the Rambam gives general parameters to answer this question in his Sefer Hamaspik Li’ovdei Hashem. In the chapter on “prishus” he says, “the way to achieve true abstinence, meaning that with your heart, that is the effort to stand up against natural urges. For the love of this world is implanted in every person’s heart, and Shlomo already said, ‘He also but an enigma in their minds’ (Koheles 3:11). We set aside for the concept of hishtadlus the next chapter, and here we are just saying that the main effort one should have is to decide in a person’s mind a pure decision from any craze or delusions because the delights in this world are not the ultimate purpose of mankind…” Elsewhere in the next perek “Hashkeida” he says, “The main hishtadlus, efforts, should be that a person has a feeling to perfect himself spiritually, and to rise oneself, aspire oneself, and find oneself yearning for it. But afterwards focus in on the combo of soul with body and the closeness of one with the other, as well as the benefits from delectable treats, as well as one’s involvement in benefiting and settling his world, and then one will know that this is the reason of why one’s soul would be cut off from the perfection which it was destined for. Just as Shlomo said, ‘made me a keeper of the vineyards of idols, but the vineyard of my own true G-D I did not keep’ (Shir Hashirim 1:6). Because these two connections, the connection between it (the soul) and the world which it was hewn from and the connection it (the body) has from the world it finds itself involved in-are diametrically opposite. When one is strengthened the other is weakened and the amount that one is made greater, so to the other is weakened.”

We see from here that the soul and body are interconnected; therefore physical effort must always be factored in with all the trust and faith one has in Hashem. But the balance of how much effort one needs to put into this world depends on how much emuna and bitachon one has. The more belief and trust one has, the less effort one has to put into his life; not that it is zero, but it is less, (which is why Hashem expected Noach to provide for the animals, his family and himself the bare minimum of food and shelter), maybe even a lot less, than others who have less faith in Hashem. Those that have less trust in Hashem cannot rely on Him more and are expected to put in more effort, hishtadlus. The correlation between body and soul, as well as hishtadlus versus emuna and bitachon are dependent on each other and ones focus but they always coexist together in this world.