Category: Food for Thought

זכרון ציפה תרצה – The Food for Thought Archives in blessed memory of Celia Rosenberg a”h

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Vaera -Hashem Looks Out for Even the Farthest Gone

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As we grow older, especially in old age, it becomes harder to change, and it becomes especially difficult to enact significant changes in our lives. An example of such a monumental change would be one who didn’t grow up Torah-observant but has ‘found the light’ and made great strides to change to the best of his or her ability. Hashem never gives up on a person and always hopes a person will change and repent until the very end. He ‘drops crumbs’” of support to try to guide us to choose a more righteous way of living.

We see this from how Hashem dealt with Pharaoh, based on a Medrish Tanchuma (11) in this week’s Torah portion of Vaera. Expounding upon a pasuk in Yeshayahu (47:10), he writes: “From the beginning I foretell the outcome; and from earlier times, what has not been; but I say My plan will stand, and I will carry out My every desire”, the medrish relates, “Rebbe Pinchas the kohen, the son of Chama says, whoever reads this pasuk, might think there are two G-Ds on high. That one says, ‘but I say My plan will stand’ and [one says], ‘and I will carry out all that I desire.’ [Meaning it seem repetitive, but in truth, the Etz Yosef (It’s the Anaf Yosef in the Hebrew edition below that you can click on.) explains, that it says ‘And I will carry out all that I desire’ to expound upon what He desires…] for He wants to make His creations righteous, as it says, ‘Hashem desires for the sake of his righteousness’ (Yeshayahu 42:21), [meaning] to make others righteous. He does not wish to hold people liable [for their sins] as it says, ‘for I do not desire the death of the one who should die’ (Yechezkel 18:32). Therefore, it says, ‘And I will carry out all that I desire’.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Etz Yosef explains this medrish by saying that Hashem always desires to cause His creatures to be righteous and He helps them in doing so by giving them the tools in their hand to do what He desires, in the manner of ‘one who comes to purify himself, He will help him.’ Included in this is the fact that Hashem doesn’t want to have to find people liable for their wrongdoings; that even after a person engages wicked deeds, Hashem doesn’t want to punish, but rather what He desires is to try to make them righteous and guide them towards repentance. Just like Hashem did with Pharaoh; that even though Pharaoh said “who is Hashem etc.,” still in all Hashem warned him before every plague and showed him a path towards repentance, as the medrish in this parsha goes on to spell out at a later point.
This is an incredible thing if you really think about it! Pharaoh not only denied the existence of Hashem, as the Etz Yosef points out, but he went so far as to proclaim himself a god, enslaved around 15 million people, brutally torturing and killing hundreds of thousands of them, perhaps millions; men, women and children, even babies! Not only did he do this, he even hardened his heart a number of times throughout the plagues, when Hashem was trying to get him to repent. And when he finally broke and gave in, letting the Jews go, he soon ran after them to the Red Sea with his army. We see that  even the signs sent to help him to repent and change his evil ways he ignored or didn’t fully commit to; so why does Hashem have the patience to try to change evil people, and not just do away with evil doers before they do too much harm?

The answer is that in Hashem’s infinite compassion and mercy He doesn’t want to see one of his creatures, even the most abominable, fail. So He tries His best, working within the realm of free will, to guide those that shouldn’t even deserve it, towards repentance and righteousness.

At the end of the day, there are opinions that state that Pharaoh survived the splitting of the sea. He sent his army but himself stayed out of it and in fact finally repented. The Yalkut Shimone in Yonah (chapter 3) quoting a Pirkei DiRebbe Eliezer states: “Rebbe Nechunya ben Hakana said you should know about teshuva (repentance) from Pharaoh. For he rebelled very much against Hashem. He said ‘who is Hashem that I should listen to His voice.’ In the same language that he sinned did he repent, for he said ‘Who is like you among the heavenly powers oh G-D’ (Shemos 15:11). Hashem saved him from certain death in order to speak up about the power of His might, as it says “However for this reason did I leave you standing.” [Pharaoh] went on to become king of Nineveh. The people of Nineveh started… to steal… (and do other abominable sins) and Hashem sent Yonah to give prophesy about them that they will be destroyed. Pharaoh heard this, stood up from his throne and tore his clothes and put on sack cloth. He also announced to the entire nation to fast for 3 days… he influenced over a 100,000 people and Hashem overturned the decree of destruction [on Nineveh]…” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

It is never too late, and it is never a helpless cause! No one is ever too old!! If Pharaoh could repent and inspire an entire other nation to repent hundreds of years later (even if it was temporarily, Hashem granted an abnormally long life in order to make such a kiddush Hashem as he did in Nineveh), it is still a big kiddush Hashem worth noting. If Pharaoh could make such a turnaround, anyone, from whatever background, no matter what age, or how far gone and off the path of serving Hashem, can do the same if they so choose!

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Shemos – Kindness Within the Boundaries of Modesty

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In this week’s Torah portion of Shemos we find Moshe fleeing for his life from Egypt and, according to the basic interpretation of the pesukim, he went straight to Midian. The Torah states: “Pharaoh heard about this matter and sought to kill Moshe; so Moshe fled from before Pharaoh and settled in the land of Midian. He sat by the well. The minister of Midian had seven daughters; they came and drew water and filled the troughs to water their father’s sheep. The shepherds came and drove them away. Moshe got up and saved them and watered their sheep. They came to Reuel their father. He said ‘How could you come so quickly today?’ They replied, ‘An Egyptian man saved us from the shepherds and he even drew water for us and watered the sheep.’ He said to his daughters ‘Then where is he? Why did you leave (עזבתן) the man? Summon him and let him eat bread’ (Shemos 2:15-20)!”

Rabbeinu Ephraim ben Shimshon (a Rishon that lived in the times of the Rokeach) was bothered by Reuel’s (aka  Yisro) response to the words “למה עזבתם את האיש;” “Why did you abandon the man.” Rabbeinu Ephraim asks: “Is it the way of maidens to bring young men home? It appears to me that when Moshe ran away, he left without any provisions for the journey, just like a person running away for his life. That is why he said to them ‘Why didn’t you give him bread.’ A person without bread is called a “נעזב” forsaken as it says in Tehillim (37:25) ‘I have not seen a righteous man forsaken etc.'”
This pasuk in Tehillim is what we say at the end of bentching [The Grace After the Meal], “נער הייתי גם זקנתי ולא ראיתי צדיק נעזב וזרעו מבקש לחם.” “I was a youth and also have aged, and I have not seen a righteous man forsaken, with his children begging for bread.”

The question of Rabbeinu Ephraim seems to be based on the fact that Yisro’s (Reuel) daughters were acting modestly, and the issue was that what then was wrong with the way they conducted themselves by not bringing Moshe back home with them? Modesty is an inborn trait for every single woman, Jewish or not Jewish. The Maalos Hamiddos in the chapter of modesty brings a medrish (Breishis Rabba 18:3) which says that Hashem specifically created Chava out of Adam’s rib, which is hidden, to instill in her and her gender the genetic make-up of modesty. If that is the case, then what did the daughters of Yisro do wrong? They returned home without Moshe just as any modest woman would do. Even if he was forsaken and destitute, why should it have been expected that the girls would bring him home to feed this stranger of a man? Imagine if your daughter brought home any random man, especially a homeless, smelly, haggard man off the street! Moshe was a runaway from Egypt; he probably looked disheveled, smelly and unkempt. Granted, he proved himself not to be dangerous (which is why, for the most part, nowadays one should never bring a stranger home), because he saved them from harassment of the other shepherds. But the Rabbeinu Ephraim didn’t say that Yisro expected them to help Moshe out of gratitude; rather, because he clearly looked destitute and forsaken. So why did Yisro expect them to have brought Moshe home?

It must be that as important and ingrained as modesty is in a woman, kindness still has to be balanced and ultimately weighed as a higher priority. There might be a hint to this from the opening statements of the Maalos Hamiddos in the chapter of Modesty: “My children, come and I will teach you the quality of modesty. You should know my children, that the quality of modesty is one of the most important and distinguished character traits because it is one of three traits Hashem expects of the Jews, as it says ‘And what does Hashem ask of you but only to do justice, love kindness, and walk in modesty with your G-D’ (Micha 6:8).” From the fact that loving kindness comes before walking in modesty, it can be implied that although both are very important attributes, which should be adhered to at all times as best as possible, but kindness should be prioritized before modesty, when balanced and weighed together, while adhering to both of them simultaneously.

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Vayechi – Appreciating the Value of Happiness

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The Orchos Tzadikim begins The Gate of Happiness with describing the ultimate state of happiness: “The trait of happiness comes to man through the enjoyment of great tranquility in his heart unmarred by mishap. A person who attains his desires and never experience anything that saddens him, will always be happy, his face will shine, his countenance will be radiant, his body will be healthy, and old age will not come quickly upon him, as is written, ‘A happy heart is as healing as medicine’ (Mishley 17:22).” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
There is a picture-perfect depiction of the ideal state of happiness in this week’s parsha. This week’s Torah portion, Vayechi, is the last of Sefer Breishis. Normally a Torah portion is delineated by starting off on a new line or at least having a space of nine letters from the last verse of the previous portion. But there is no space at all between the end of the Torah portion of Vayigash and the beginning of Vayechi. The new Torah portion abruptly begins with “Yaakov lived in the land of Egypt…” (Breishis 47:28).
The Medrish Rabbah, in the opening of this parsha asks, “Why of all the portions of the Torah is this portion ‘closed’? It is because once our forefather Yaakov passed away, the Egyptian subjugation of Israel began. Another interpretation: why is this portion ‘closed’? Because Yaakov our forefather sought to reveal [to his sons] the End [the date of the Final Redemption], but it was closed off (concealed) from him. Another interpretation: Why is this portion ‘closed’? Because Hashem closed off from him all the troubles in the world [during his sojourn in Egypt]” (Breishis Rabba 96:1).

The Maharz”u wonders why the first two reason of why the parsha starts off ‘closed’ is even here, because according to the first answer it should have the ‘closure’ in perek 49, pasuk 33 where it discusses Yaakov’s death and the second one could have been by perek 49, pasuk 1 where the pasuk says straight out that Yaakov was planning on revealing the date of the End of Days to his children? He answers that we find spaces and closures all throughout the Torah, but every other beginning of a parsha definitely has a space or starts on a new line; this one doesn’t, so it must be to highlight something. The medrish gives 3 reasons for the highlighting. Either because of the impending servitude; when the beginning of the portion writes “Yaakov lived” it means when Yaakov lived 17 years in Egypt and reached the age of 147 and was close to death. Then fear fell upon his children, from the exile in Egypt, even though the servitude didn’t actually start until all 70 people who came down to Egypt had died. The second reason was that he wanted to reveal the End of Days when he was about to die, and this was hinted to by the closure. The third interpretation was the closure of his suffering. In Eretz Canaan he was open to suffering and in Egypt he was closed. True, it would have been better to have the “closure” in their respected places as mentioned above, but the third reason was why the closure was by this pasuk. (Click here for Hebrew text)

Similarly, the Matnos Kehuna explains this 3rd opinion, of why the parsha begins without any space between it and the previous parsha; that Yaakov Avinu forgot all his suffering when he was in Egypt. Those 17 years were the main part of his life, without suffering.
It makes a bit of sense why the Torah would go out of its way at the beginning of this portion to do something which is different than any other beginning of a parsha. This is in order to hint at a message that is so important that it can affect an entire generation or so, such as hinting to the advent of the enslavement or something that would have an impact for generations to come, such as revealing when Moshiach would finally come at the End of Days. But what is so special about hinting to us that Yaakov’s suffering was done and over with, and his last 17 years were lived in bliss and tranquility; who cares? Why does it make for a difference and why is it worth changing the rules of Torah portions, how they start; especially since it was really only because of this 3rd reason why the hint was put specifically here at this place, as the Maharz”u point out in the end of his piece?

However, we must appreciate what the Orchos Tzadikim says at the beginning of the Gate of Happiness; what the ultimate state of happiness is. A state of peace and tranquility without any issues and problems in one’s life. This is something transformative that could literally “add years,” radiance, and youth to one’s life. This is exactly what happened to Yaakov, in fact; Yaakov’s shine did come back, and in the last 17 years of his life Divine Inspiration and prophesy was imbued inside him on a constant basis, which had left him when he was suffering in sorrow when Yosef had disappeared.

The Torah is teaching us a lesson, that we have to really focus in and really, really appreciate the chance of living a life of true happiness without any suffering. It is worth changing the rules of how to set up the portions in the Torah, just to bring this message across! Therefore, it must be a very important lesson that one must contemplate and imbibe in oneself emotionally and intellectually.

It doesn’t even mean that one has to go his whole entire life without any problems. But even a segment of one’s life as Yaakov had, it is worth appreciating the gift that Hashem gives you of a life of peace, tranquility, and bliss, even if it is for a short amount of time. Yaakov forgot all the woes and sorrows he had in the past, because of the wonderful state he was in during the last 17 years of his life, and it was deeply appreciated. So too, we have to recognize, appreciate, and especially be joyous for the good that Hashem gives us, especially a chunk of time without any worries, problems, and tribulations.

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Vayigash – The Solace of Crying

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A little after Yosef revealed himself to his brothers and spoke to them about telling their father that he was alive, the Torah states: “Then he fell upon his brother Binyamin’s neck and wept; and Binyamin wept upon his neck” (Breishis 45:14). The Medrish Rabba (Vayigash 93:12 [13 in some editions]) learns from this pasuk “That just as Yosef only appeased his brothers through crying, so to Hashem will only redeem the Jews through crying, as it says ‘With weeping they will come and through supplications I will bring them’” (Yirmiyahu 31:8)”

There is a concept called מעשה אבות סימן לבנים, the actions of the fathers is a sign about the children. The Maharz”u points out that this is even more true regarding Yosef,  for all Jews are referred to in Yosef’s name as mentioned at the end of Breishis Rabba 71:2. This is the connection between Yosef crying on Binyamin’s shoulder and the Jews crying by the Redemption. But what does one crying have to do with the other? (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The Etz Yosef in the name of the Radak as well as the Eshed Hanachalim answer that Yosef was crying tears of joy over becoming reacquainted with his brothers, and his brothers were relieved to recognize that he was overjoyed to see them. So too will be the Jewish crying by their redemption. The Eshed Hanachalim adds that this is an incredible depiction of how sometimes, through so much happiness, one comes to cry; because of the overwhelming feeling of emotion that comes from knowing the sorrow of one’s past and the joy of his future, which is why Yosef cried. So too when Jews contemplate the torture and suffering of their past and the redemption that they will be living through, they will come to cry out of joy.

However, the Yefeh Toar seems not to be saying that Yosef was crying tears of joy. He connects back to the medrish before, which points out that the pasuk mentions twice that Yosef cried on Benyamin’s shoulder. The medrish says that once was for the destruction of the First Beis HaMikdash and one was for the destruction of the Second Beis HaMikdash, which he saw through Ruach Hakodesh, Divine inspiration. He did this when crying on Benyamin’s shoulder, since both would be partially built on Binyamin’s portion of the Land of Israel. The Yefeh Toar goes on to say that for this reason the next medrish (which is our medrish) “now says another reason why crying is mentioned here, for it was a crying of appeasement since he saw they were still very disturbed in his presence, as Rashi on the chumash mentions.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

It sounds like Yosef was not crying out of joy, because the Yefeh Toar juxtaposed this crying to the previous crying over the downfall of both Holy Temples. And the Yefeh Toar says Yosef saw that his brothers were still distraught, even after he revealed himself to them and told them to bring his father and the rest of the family down to Egypt to be with him. One might think then that the crying was just a way to relate to his brothers, and relating to them was their solace or appeasement. But if that’s the case, then it doesn’t correlate with the next part of the medrish, because it’s not that Hashem will be crying with the Jews by the Redemption but that the Jews themselves will be crying. It must be therefore that crying by itself gives a sense of comfort and solace to a person. Crying has a way of calming people and appeasing their feelings of sadness, anxiety and suffering. Even seeing other people cry over your plight has that effect, not only your own crying.

We see the power of crying whether tears of joy or tears of comfort it’s an appeasement and a solace which can change people’s lives and prepare them for their next stage in life.

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Miketz – The Role of a Leader


Yosef was appointed to the position of second in command of Egypt by Pharaoh, specifically to oversee food storage and distribution during the years of famine. As it states in this week’s Torah portion of Miketz, “Now Yosef, he was the viceroy over the land, he was the provider to all the people of the land” (Breishis 42:6).

The Pirkei DiRebbe Eliezer (perek 39 with the Be’ur Maspik) says that the angel Gavriel taught Yosef all the seventy languages of the world so when people of many languages came with their taxes and gifts to buy provisions, Yosef would speak to ever single person in their own language. For this reason, he was called The Translator. Some people came to buy provisions to stave off the starvation of their household, others came to buy food for themselves, and they would each ask the other how much they were sold the food for. So, when they came to Yosef, he would say that whatever amount you heard, that is the price, to ensure that he would not sell it for less. The Pirkei DiRebbe Eliezer concludes that from here we see that whoever sells merchandise for less than its market value will never find blessing. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

The Toaliyos HaRalbag learns from the above pasuk that one should not be lackadaisical in upholding what he was appointed to do, and to not leave what he was instructed and expected to observe up to someone else, simply  because of the high position and power he was given by the ruler. For if he does, then he will be delivering acts of evil in place of good. Rather, one should put in extra effort to fulfill what he was appointed to do, as much as possible. This means taking into consideration the right thing to do and acting in a manner in which you are not withholding any good that could be given. For this reason we see that Yosef, though he was the ruler over the entire country, decided to himself provide the provisions to each individual.  This was to ensured that what he was appointed to do would be fulfilled to the best of his ability in the best manner possible, and to guarantee that he didn’t let his control and power prevent him from observing his duties. (Click here for Hebrew text.)

Yosef was a highly talented individual, proficient in all languages, a dream interpreter, and a skilled and shrewd businessman. He understood economics quite well and knew exactly how to take care of both Egypt and the world during these years of great depression and famine. He had to have delegated jobs and responsibilities to people throughout the kingdom to build the storehouses and organize the collection of food in the years of plenty to ensure an ample amount of food for everyone during the famine. There would have been no choice but to delegate, because it is not a one-man job. But why did he put himself in the position of being the seller and cashier of all the goods, to deal with every single person, from  all walks of life, to provide them directly with their needs? Couldn’t he have hired a layman, maybe even a few interpreters, to do such a menial job? He could have just stayed in the palace and delegated authority to others, sitting around advising Pharaoh or discussing economic issues, within the comforts of royalty instead of standing behind the counter and shmuzing with the common folk. So why didn’t he?!

The answer the Ralbag gives is simple in that, that is not what he was hired to do, exactly. He was expected to take care of the country in the best way possible, and delegating responsibilities and sitting back in the palace would not have been putting his full efforts and potential into the position he was given. The Ralbag adds that it would be an act of evil not good to simply delegate. This sounds even worse than being an ingrate, (כפוי טוב), the opposite of being grateful (הכרת הטוב), because not being grateful is just not showing a feeling of gratitude. But in this case, completely delegating and not being actively involved would be proactively not acceptable and an act of not doing what is good for those who hired him. (Note: It’s debatable whether the ultimate authority, like a king or president, should be put on a much higher pedestal and stay on the side lines because of his high-level status. But that can be questioned to an extent as well, because we find all over Tanach where the king or leader of the people went out to war with the army, and personally led them in battle.)

What we see from here is that when a person is hired to be a leader he is expected to do everything he can to get the job done in the best possible way, and only delegate when needed. But if not needed, then he has to be ready and willing to do even the menial work with all his heart and energy.

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Vayeishev – Deeply Intelligent Belief System

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At the end of this week’s Torah portion of Vayeishev, Yosef finds himself in jail with the chamberlain of butchers and the chamberlain of drinks, and they each had dreams which Yosef interpreted.
The medrish, Breishis Rabba (88:4) says, “‘And He placed them in the ward… the chamberlain of butchers appointed etc. [Yosef to be with them] the two of them dreamt a dream etc. [Each one according to the interpretation of his dream’ (Breishis 40:3-5). Rebbe Chiya bar Abba said each one dreamed a dream of his own as well as the interpretation of his companion’s dream. ‘Yosef came to them etc. They said to him, we dreamt a dream etc. [So, Yosef said to them,] Don’t interpretations belong to G-D’ (Breishis 40:6-8)? Yosef attributed the greatness to its rightful holder.” The Yefeh Toar explains what it means that Yosef attributed the greatness to its rightful holder, “You shouldn’t interpret this to mean [that Yosef was saying] G-D will interpret the dream, because if that was the case then what would have been the point in him listening to their dreams rather what he meant is that Hashem gave him the wisdom to interpret them, and that’s how he attributed greatness to its rightful holder.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The medrish is saying that Yosef was giving a lesson to the chamberlains of belief in Hashem. That ultimately He’s the one that provides the dreams, and the solution and interpretation of the dreams is also from Hashem. However, the Yefeh Toar points out that Yosef wasn’t telling them that Hashem would directly tell them their interpretations; rather, Hashem would give Yosef the wisdom to interpret their dreams.

What exactly is going on? The medrish in fact said that each one of them dreamt the other’s interpretation and they either misunderstood or wanted to double check. Either way, Hashem had in fact already given the interpretations; and if Yosef meant that they would remember and recognize the interpretations as things played out with them, who says that was in fact true? They might have totally missed Hashem’s message! It is also a highly unlikely possibility that Hashem would actually speak to these Egyptians directly. So one would think that it is obvious that Yosef was Hashem’s messenger to interpret the dreams, and that is in fact all Yosef might have meant, that Hashem will tell you the interpretations. So what does the Yefeh Toar mean when he says that Yosef wasn’t telling them that G-D would give them the solutions, for by telling them through Yosef Hashem actually did do so? That’s how Hashem works most of the time; He runs every aspect of the world by Himself but through the use of messengers. Be it nature, be it human beings, angels, wildlife etc., in order to get things done in a more discreet and modest fashion. This is in order to ensure free choice for human beings, and it’s also basic honor and respect for a king, especially The King Of All Kings, for existence to run in this fashion. If so, then isn’t it obvious and really the same thing if Yosef would have told them that Hashem would provide the interpretations to their dreams instead of attributing Hashem with giving him the knowledge to interpret their dreams?

The Yefeh Toar must therefore be teaching us how to strengthen our emuna  and bitachon, belief and trust in Hashem. We shouldn’t just attribute everything to Hashem in a generalized manner, but we should pinpoint our recognition of Hashem’s “hands” in our lives. As the Yefeh Toar points out, that Yosef told them that it wass because Hashem granted him wisdom to interpret the dreams, and that is why He should be credited; not just because all interpretations come from Hashem. By pinpointing and specifying in as much detail as possible, we can then fully acknowledge and strengthen our relationship with Hashem, His existence and our trust in Him.

Good Shabbos and Happy Chanukah starting Sunday night,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

P.S. An interesting tidbit: In the Haftorah this week we read “אם יתקע שופר בעיר” and
we only read this in years when we blow shofar on both days of Rosh Hashana. When Rosh Hashana falls on Shabbos, then parshas Vayeishev is on Chanukah.

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Vayishlach -The Proper Perspective of Why to do the Right Thing

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The Sefer HaChinuch is known for giving reasons for the 613 mitvos, which is called טעמי המצוות. Seemingly, the reason to give reasons behind the mitzvos is as a הכרח, a motivation to ensure performance of the mitzvos.

There is one mitzva in this week’s Torah portion of Vayishlach, the third mitzva of the Torah, which is to not eat the גיד הנשה, the tendon of an animal’s thigh. As the Torah states, “Therefore Children of Israel are not to eat the displaced sinew on the hip-socket to this day, because he struck Yaakov’s hip-socket on the displaced sinew” (Breishis 32:33). The Sefer HaChinuch states, “When the Torah says “they shouldn’t eat it” this wasn’t said as a story, meaning parenthetically because this happened to the father then the children shouldn’t eat from that sinew, rather it is a warning from The Blessed Hashem that they shouldn’t eat it. The roots of this mitzvah are in order for there to be a hint to the Jews, that even though they have to deal with great sufferings at the hands of the gentiles in all the exiles, and specifically by the hands of the descendants of Eisav, but still they should have trust that they will never be wiped out. Rather their children and name will always rise up, and there will be their redemption from the hands of the enemy. And through constantly remembering this matter through this mitzvah being used as a reminder, then their faith and righteousness will be everlasting. This hint is based on the fact that this angel that fought with Yaakov Avinu, which tradition says was the ministering angel of Eisav, wanted to uproot Yaakov and his children from this world but he wasn’t able to. However, he hurt him with a blow to the thigh. So, to the descendants of Eisav have pained the descendants of Yaakov, and in the end you will have salvation from them. Just as we find by the father [Yaakov] when the sun rose he was healed and saved from the suffering, so to the sun of Moshiach shall rise for us and heal us from our suffering and our exile, amen, speedily in our days.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Sefer HaChinuch first tells us to fulfill this mitzvah of not eating the gid hanasheh because Hashem commanded us not to, and not because we have a mesora, tradition, from our forefather, Yaakov to not eat it. But then the Sefer HaChinuch gives a reason why we should observe this mitzva, as a hint to strengthen our belief and trust in Hashem, that He will eventually end our suffering and redeem us from exile, as He promised never to wipe us out.

Why isn’t just the fact that Yaakov, one of our forefathers, refrained from eating the gid hanashe because of a specific incident that happened to him, enough of a reason for his descendants to  follow suit and keep this mitzvah? A tradition is a tradition. Chaza”l speak very highly of the concept of mesora, keeping and abiding by the link chain of our tradition from generation to generation. It is what binds the Torah together and ensures it’s continuity. If such a righteous and holy man as one of our forefathers, a progenitor of the Jewish People, had a tradition to not eat something, wouldn’t that be a noble enough reason to fulfill that mitzvah? Yet the Sefer HaChinuch says we should fulfill the mitzvah because Hashem said to, and not because of what our forefather did. What then is the point of giving a reason for observing this mitzva in the next paragraph that talks about the roots of the mitzva?

It must be that even the Sefer HaChinuch holds that ultimately the main intent when observing mitzvos must be because Hashem commanded and warned us to do so. Yet the Sefer HaChinuch felt he had to provide reasons behind the mitzvah, as a means to strengthen our emunah and bitachon in adhering to that mitzvah, for the sake of doing Hashem’s will. Therefore, any reasons given for why to fulfill the mitzva must be only to reenforce the belief that Hashem commanded us to keep this mitzva; and for no other reason should any mitzva be observed.

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Vayeitzei – Pesach Seder Dvar Torah in Parshas Vayeitzei

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We read in the Haggada of Pesach each year at the seder about an allusion to the covenant made by Hashem with Avraham at the Bris Bein Habesarim: “It is this that has stood by our fathers and us. For not only one has risen against us to annihilate us, but in every generation they rise up against us to annihilate us. But the Holy One, Blessed is He, rescues us from their hands.” The next paragraph in the Haggadah is an example of how in each generation someone tries to annihilate us but haven’t   succeeded: “Go and learn what Lavan the Aramean attempted to do to our father Yaakov! For Pharaoh decreed only against the males, but Lavan attempted to uproot everything as it says (Devarim 26:5) ‘An Aramean attempted to destroy my father. Then he descended to Egypt and sojourned there, with few people; and there he became a nation, great, mighty and numerous.'” This episode originates from the end of this week’s Torah portion of Vayeitzei, where Lavan ran after Yaakov and his family after they escaped Lavan’s house.
The Abarbanel on the Hagadda remarks on these two paragraphs, about the promise that was made to Avraham by Hashem at the bris bein habesarim that he would be exiled and persecuted, but ultimately go out as a mighty and wealthy nation. This occurred not only in Egypt but can happen again,  in each generation; and the proof is that it happened by Lavan. Yaakov worked very hard for his father-in-law Lavan and after twenty years he ran away with his family back to Eretz Canaan, with great wealth and a large amount of flock.
Lavan didn’t proactively do anything wrong to him but go out and learn from his words what Lavan’s intent was against Yaakov. Lavan admitted and said, “It is in my power to do you all harm” (Breishis 31:29). Lavan wanted to wipe them out, to smite each mother with her children and he said to Yaakov, “The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children and the flock is my flock, and all that you see is mine” (Breishis 31:43). Meaning, everything I deserve to have and to do whatever I want with them; but Hashem stopped me as the end of pasuk 29, quoted earlier states, “But the G-D of your father addressed me last night (in a dream) saying, ‘Beware of speaking with Yaakov either good or bad.'” Abarbanel goes on to say that the author of the Haggada is saying that the promise made to Avraham at the bris bein habesarim was fulfilled through Yaakov with Lavan, for Hashem judged Lavan, as it says, “But G-D had come to Lavan in a dream by night and said to him, ‘Beware lest…'” (Breishis 31:24). Yaakov left with great wealth as it had said earlier, “The man (referring to Yaakov) became exceedingly prosperous and he attained flocks, maidservants and servants, camels and donkeys” (Breishis 30:43). Abarbanel concludes: “And just as the promise of the bris bein habesarim was fulfilled for them so shall it be fulfilled for all our troubles in each generation!”

The Avudraham on the paragraph about Lavan in the Haggada says we know that Lavan wanted to wipe out Yaakov and his family because the Aramaic translation of the pasuk ארמי אבד אבי (Devarim 26:5), written by Onkelus, stated, “An Aramean wanted to decimate your father.” This is based on the fact that when Lavan the Aramean ran after Yaakov and reached him, he said to him, “It is in my power to do you all harm.” And because he thought about doing bad, Hashem considered it as if it was done. This is because Hashem considers the bad thoughts of gentiles as if they happened; and the only reason why they aren’t fulfilled is because Hashem annuls their evil ideas and doesn’t allow them to happen. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Avudraham is teaching us a very interesting psychological concept. Every human has free choice, including gentiles; yet the Avudraham claims that the sinister ideas of gentiles they will undoubtedly fulfill, and never change their mind out of remorse,  Hashem will at times stop them from bringing them to fruition. Why is it assumed that all gentiles won’t have remorse for their evil ideas and decide on their own not to do them? Even though Lavan said he could harm them, he didn’t because Hashem told him not to. But wasn’t that still his choice to listen to Hashem!? We see that Bilaam did not listen to Hashem and continued cursing the Jews; so Hashem put into his mouth blessings. But Lavan seemed to have chosen of his own free will to listen to Hashem; so why does the Avudraham and the haggada not give him the credit for making the right decision?

However it must be that in fact Lavan really wanted to kill Yaakov and his family, and that desire never changed; and only because Hashem restrained him and convinced him in his mind to not do it was it not fulfilled. That is why Hashem considered Lavan’s idea as if it came to fruition, ashet would have done if not for Hashem’s intervention. So too, all evil and sinister ideas of the gentiles we can assume are plots that they never plan to change and the only reason why they aren’t successful is because Hashem stops them.

That’s the psychology of wicked gentiles; once they come up with an evil plan they stick to it and don’t want to change. But ultimately Hashem runs the world and their sinister plots are thwarted.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder
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Toldos – The Embarrassment of Being Yelled At

This Dvar Torah is dedicated in memory of Binah Kasirer a”h, Binah bas Shlomo, may her neshama have an aliyah and may her family be comforted amongst the mourners of Zion.

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The Ramban in this week’s Torah portion of Toldos (27:4) relates that Rivka knew through prophecy (See Breishis 25:23) when Hashem told her, “The elder shall serve the younger” that part of it meant that the younger, Yaakov, would be receiving the blessings over the older, Eisav. She didn’t tell this prophesy to Yitzchak, her husband, for three possible reasons, enumerated in the Ramban there. (Click here and here for Hebrew texts.)

When Rivka called Yaakov over to tell him the plan of how he would be disguised as Eisav to receive the blessings, the Torah records, “Now Rivka was listening as Yitzchak spoke to Eisav his son; and Eisav went to the field to hunt game to bring. But Rivka had said to Yaakov her son, saying, ‘Behold I heard your father speaking to you brother Eisav saying, bring me some game and make delicacies to eat and I will bless you in the presence of Hashem before my death'” (Breishis 27:5-7). The Ramban points out there that Yitzchak in fact did not tell Eisav that when he would give the blessings it would be ‘in the presence of Hashem.’ But the Ramban says that Rivka told Yaakov that she knew the blessings would be given by Yitzchak with Divine Inspiration, Ruach Hakodesh. Yaakov followed all the instructions his mother gave him and he successfully received the blessings as was Divinely intended.

 Yet at the end of the parsha it states, “When Rivka was told of the words of her older son, Esav, she sent and summoned Yaakov her younger son and said to him, ‘Behold, your brother Esav is consoling himself regarding you to kill you.'” (Breishis 27:42). The Ramban explains the reason why Rivka had to, “‘send word and summon Yaakov’ is that Yaakov was in a different place, not in the tent of his father and mother because he was hiding from Eisav his brother who was screaming at him. And Yaakov was either embarrassed from him or afraid.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

It makes sense that Yaakov might have been afraid and gone into hiding because, although undoubtedly he was a tremendous baal bitachon, whole heartedly trusted in Hashem; but one can’t rely on miracles and make oneself a target in the open. However, why would he go into hiding out of embarrassment? He did the right thing and the pasuk in Mishley (1:8) says, “Hear my child the discipline of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother.” The Ibn Ezra there says that the wise mother teaches her son how to go on the straight path. The Metzudas Dovid says you should listen to the teachings of your mother. And the Peirush HaRid says that your mother or father would only teach you good, to learn and strengthen yourself in fear of Hashem and fulfilling his mitzvos. If this is the case, then Yaakov, one of the patriarchs, surely was fulfilling a mitzvah of kibud eim, respecting his mother, Rivka, one of the matriarchs, by listening to her instructions so he should not have been embarrassed for the deeds he partook in! So why would he hide out of embarrassment?

However, the Ramban says that Yaakov hid because he was screamed at by Eisav, who was complaining bitterly about him. We see from here that it is totally natural for a person, even Yaakov Avinu, at whatever level of embarrassment it was, to feel embarrassed after being yelled at. It’s only human nature, and being screamed at affected him to such a degree that he felt he had to go into hiding out of embarrassment.

We have to be very careful and sensitive to this fact, that when we get angry or frustrated and want to scream at the person who has angered or frustrated us, realize it will most likely embarrass that person. Is that worth it, or do we want to have on our head the fact that we made this person feel so bad? This might even be a trick to calming one’s anger and frustrations.

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Chayei Sarah – Making a Scene

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When a person feels successful and accomplished,  their reactions vary from person to person. On one end of the spectrum we see people who ‘pump fists and beat chests with a jig,’ priding themselves on how good they are. On the other end we find people humbly thanking Hashem inwardly for the success He granted them. In this week’s Torah portion of Chaye Sarah we find the proper response in these types of situations.

Avraham sent Eliezer, his trusted servant, off to Aram Naharaim, Avraham’s homeland, to find a wife for Yitzchak. When Eliezer found Rivka at the well and sensed that she was the one, the Torah records his reaction: “So the man bowed low and prostrated himself to Hashem. He said, Blessed is Hashem, G-D of my master Avraham, Who has not withheld His kindness and truth from my master. As for me, Hashem has guided me on the way to the house of my master’s brothers” (Breishis 24:26, 27).

The lesson the Ralbag learns from here is, “It’s proper for a person whose thoughts are properly intended and has success in his matters to acknowledge and give thanks to Hashem, for everything is from Him. For this can be utilized to align one’s love for Hashem and to come close to Him as much as possible. Meaning, when it’s publicized that Hashem takes care of mankind, in this way people will put in effort to serve Hashem and come close to Him as much as possible so that they can receive good from Him through His personal care and involvement with them. This is why Eliezer gave praise and gratitude to Hashem for the good that was granted to Avraham in this matter.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
When one lands a good business deal or even aces a test or scores the winning point in a ballgame, it’s basic emuna and bitachon, belief and trust in Hashem that one shouldn’t take the credit themselves for the success they had. Yet, one might think, why make a scene? Just thank Hashem quietly, privately, even in one’s heart. There is no need to flaunt Hashem’s Divine intervention in their life. The humble thing to do would be to keep it to oneself and not have a public reaction that might draw attention. But we see from this Ralbag that Eliezer acted appropriately. He did a kida, which is full-fledged prostration with his whole body, spread on the floor, and bowed again towards Hashem, all in public, for the help he acknowledged Hashem provided in finding Yitzchak’s bashert, his proper soul mate. He made a scene, and the Ralbag says this was proper to do, because it can create an incredible kiddush Hashem.

The times when things are going your way and you feel successful, those are the easiest times to get close to Hashem. It’s easier to love and draw near to Hashem when you can feel He is personally helping, than in the hard times or even the mundane hidden times. Therefore take advantage and show it off to others (of course there are limits, you shouldn’t overdo it).  The litmus test is when you can honestly say that your response is lishem Shamayim, reacting so excitedly purely for the sake of Heaven; then you know you aren’t going overboard.

The Ralbag is teaching us that by showing your excitement and not keeping it inside, one can make a very positive impact on others and will drive them to seek out their own relationship with Hashem and see how He’s positively involved in their lives. This is a tremendous kiddush Hashem, because it’s drawing others closer to Hashem and causing them to love Him more and more. It also creates an opportunity to enhance ones own love and closeness towards Hashem because when you bring people closer to Hashem, Hashem will come even closer to you. The enhancement of love is mutual.