Author: Rabbi Milder

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Netzavim – The Yetzer Hara for Perfection


In this week’s Torah portion of Netzavim Moshe memorably tells the Jewish people in perek 30:

11For this commandment which I command you this day, is not concealed from you, nor is it far away. יאכִּ֚י הַמִּצְוָ֣ה הַזֹּ֔את אֲשֶׁ֛ר אָֽנֹכִ֥י מְצַוְּךָ֖ הַיּ֑וֹם לֹֽא־נִפְלֵ֥את הִוא֙ מִמְּךָ֔ וְלֹֽא־רְחֹקָ֖ה הִֽוא:
12It is not in heaven, that you should say, “Who will go up to heaven for us and fetch it for us, to tell [it] to us, so that we can fulfill it?” יבלֹ֥א בַשָּׁמַ֖יִם הִ֑וא לֵאמֹ֗ר מִ֣י יַֽעֲלֶה־לָּ֤נוּ הַשָּׁמַ֨יְמָה֙ וְיִקָּחֶ֣הָ לָּ֔נוּ וְיַשְׁמִעֵ֥נוּ אֹתָ֖הּ וְנַֽעֲשֶֽׂנָּה:

The Medrish Rabba extrapolates on these pesukim that Moshe told the Jewish people that they shouldn’t say another Moshe will come and bring us another Torah from heaven; I therefore am informing you “It is not in heaven” there is nothing left of the Torah that was not given, in heaven. Another interpretation, in the name of Rebbe Chanina, “It” and all its tools were given, which are: humility, righteousness, and uprightness, as well as it’s reward.

The Maharz”u clearly explains the Torah’s concern related in the medrish. “If you think it is possible to receive another Torah since Hashem can do anything, and your evil inclination will convince you to be lenient in fulfilling this Torah, to this I am informing you that all that is called by the name Torah and mitzvah is included in this Torah. And all that the prophets added and prophesied about and all that was prophesied about the future is all an explanation of this Torah which is higher than heaven and more expansive than earth, and deeper than purgatory, for it is the wisdom of The Creator who created everything and with it he keeps everything existing and there is no other way in the world except to cling to this Torah which is our life in this world and the Next World forever and ever. When the medrish writes about ‘another Moshe would get up’ it’s not literally Moshe, rather what it means is a prophet like Moshe, and just as there will be no other Torah, so to no prophet got up or will get up like Moshe. For even Moshiach will not give us another Torah, rather he will only uphold and explain this Torah. When in the Navi it says, ‘That the land will be filled with the knowledge of Hashem’ it is referring to an explanation of this Torah in our hands.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
Who would imagine that another prophet like Moshe could bring another Torah, possibly bigger and better than this one? But even if it would be true, why wouldn’t everyone still observe what is in this one until then? This Torah is the blueprints of creation and handbook for mankind right now, and Hashem promises so much reward in this world and the next for observing it, and punishment for transgressing it?! Even more so, the Maharz”u says on Rebbe Chanina’s statement, “that all instruments which are used to acquire the Torah and the Torah refines those attributes as it says in the 6th perek of Pirkei Avos, ‘It makes him fit to be righteous, devout, fair and faithful.’ ‘And the Torah clothes him in humility and fear of Hashem etc.’ And one who is crowned with these traits is literally in this world but walking in heaven…!”

If a person is able to attain such pristine character traits from learning and practicing this Torah, and Hashem says this is what will give you a well-meaning life right now, then why wouldn’t you follow it, even if there could be something better in the future?

 It must be that this is the trick of the yetzer hara, the evil inclination, that convinces a person that the next time or the next thing will be better so forget about what you have now, therefore Moshe Rabbeinu is saying don’t think Hashem created a situation like this  for the evil inclination to creep in and convince you to stop following this Torah, (which actually sounds like if He would have made another Torah for the future we would not have been able to overcome this test and Hashem does not create tests that are impossible to overcome,) therefore Moshe is informing us that this is the only Torah, which will bring you a well-meaning life in this world and take you into the next world, for eternity.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim chapter 10 halacha 1

The topic of this chapter is whether or how one can speak lashon hara about someone who transgressed a mitzva between man and fellow man like stealing, denying a loan, causing injury, embarrassing, or causing pain to others and onaas devarim. If one knows someone else hurt or stole from the other then you should first rebuke the perpetrator and if he doesn’t listen and you know without a doubt that he did not do Teshuva which includes returning the stolen object, paying back damages, or apologizing for embarrassment etc. then you are allowed to tell others about what happened if it will help the victim get his money and to resolve the truth but there are 7 rules you must meet when you tell it to others.

There is an argument between Rabbeinu Yona and the Rambam (accept according to the Lechem Mishna) whether you can repeat what you saw a person do against his friend in all situations, as per the Rabbeinu Yona, or only in situations where money is involved i.e. stealing, physical injuries etc. but if it’s just a matter of psychological embarrassment and pain which just needs an apology then even if he doesn’t repent and ask for forgiveness the Rambam holds you can’t share what you saw with anyone else whereas Rabbienu Yona says you can for the sake of revealing the truth and making sure he doesn’t do this to anyone else. Keep people away from the perpetrator.

The fact that you have to know for a fact that he didn’t return money owed before speaking lashon hara is true by a normal Jew and especially a sage, you have to be sure to not talk up so quick because chaza”l say you can be assured if a sage sinned one day he has repented by the next day but if you know the money wasn’t paid back, even if the sage might feel remorse it’s not a complete Teshuva until payback so it’s lashon hara to spread what happened if it will get the perpetrator even a sage to pay back what is owed and keep people away from him until he fully repents

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Ki Savo – Making an Impression Through Kindness


 At the end of this week’s Torah portion of Ki Savo, following the blessings and curses, Moshe makes an astonishing statement at the beginning of his final address to the Jewish people: “Moshe summoned all of Israel and said to them, ‘You have seen everything that Hashem did before your eyes in the land of Egypt, to Pharaoh and to all his servants and to all his land. The great trials that your eyes beheld, those great signs and wonders. But Hashem did not give you a heart to know, or eyes to see, or ears to hear until this day. I lead you for forty years in the Wilderness, your garments did not wear out from on you, and your shoe did not wear out from on your foot. Bread you did not eat and wine or intoxicants you did not drink, so that you will know that I am Hashem your G-D. Then you arrived at this place, and Sihon, king of Cheshbon, and Og, king of Bashan, went out toward us to battle, and we smite them” (Devarim 29:1-6).

What does it mean that “Hashem did not give you a heart to know… until this day?” Didn’t Hashem directly give them the Torah on Har Sinai 40 years before? He also gave them the greatest prophet, leader, and teacher in history, Moshe Rabbeinu, to help them through all the details and intricacies of the Torah. He had taught them how to observe the Torah for the past 40 years, as well as to transmit the Torah to the next generation. So why only now, on the last day of his life, is Moshe saying “Hashem did not give you a heart to know etc. until this day?” 
 The Sforno has a fascinating take on this issue. On pesukim 3 and 4 he explains, “‘But Hashem has not given you a heart to know.’ Even though He, the Exalted One, attempted through His teachings and wonders to give you a heart to know, as it says ‘That you may tell… that you may know that I am Hashem’ (Shemos 10:2), nonetheless this intended goal was not realized because of your bitterness. ‘And I led you.’ However, after you have seen the many kindnesses done on your behalf in the wilderness that you might know, and now that He brought you to the land of Sihon and Og where you have an inheritance in the land so that you can now establish in them the intended purpose of your settlement, it is proper that from now on you should apply your heart to know.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
 It would seem according to the Sforno that Hashem did His part to give them the ability and tools to know in their heart how to observe His will; but because of their bitterness they could not accept it until now. But how could that be true? They saw tremendous miracles like the ten plagues in Egypt and the splitting of the Red Sea, which Chazal attest that even the maidservants were on such high level of prophesy equal to Yechezkel ben Buzzi. Indeed, then they experienced the revelation at Sinai when the entire Jewish people in unison accepted the Torah directly from Hashem. How is it possible to say they didn’t have a heart to know until today; especially since they were learning and observing the Torah for the past 40 years in the desert?

We must say that the level of commitment that Hashem was expecting was not achieved until that day when they were placed in a situation that they would start inheriting the land destined for them to acquire, and have the ability to observe all the mitzvos, including those dependent on the land.

But the Sforno says this was only actualized after 40 years of kindness that Hashem showered on them. Without that kindness, the bitterness which impeded on their complete commitment would have stopped them from having the level of a knowing heart Hashem was expecting of them. And it wasn’t just one kindness that
resolved the bitterness in their heart, it took 40 years of kindness to dissolve that bitterness, a show of love and commitment on the part of Hashem. Only then were they fully ready to commit themselves to following the ways of Hashem and passing it on to the next generation.

There are times when a person wants to send a message or get through to someone else, wants to help them do the right thing and convince them of the right path, but with all their proofs and logic, and even displays of power and reliance, it might not be enough if the other individual has some psychological blockage that impedes him from changing his ways and following your direction, even if you are correct. However, we see from Hashem that by showing you care and are committed to the individual by being kind to him or her, not just once but on a consistent basis, then that can remove the blockage and they will start listening to you and commit to changing their ways and lifestyle, because now they see you really care about their wellbeing.

Showing commitment through kindness is a mean to get through to someone on an emotional level even if you have all the proof and logic that you are correct on an intellectual level.

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Sefer Chofetz Chaim chapter 9 halchos 5, 6

Halacha 5: According to the laws of chinuch, educating your children, one has to even make sure from a young age to train them not to speak lashon hara or any other bad talk like cursing or lying. This is extra important for parents to teach their children because the Vilna Gaon says that it is very hard break habits so, especially for speech and character traits fathers should train there children to have positive character traits and refined speech from a young age so that it will be habitual when they grow up and not the opposite, if parents don’t rebuke then children say whatever they want and train them selves to speak lashon hara, lies, and cursing, which is why they continue when they grow up, since it is so hard to break the habit, though not impossible.

 Halacha 6: If someone tells you something you shouldn’t repeat it unless he tells you, it indicates to you that you are allowed to repeat what he said, except for lashon hara, even if he said you can repeat it, of course you can’t. This is based on a gemara in Yoma 4b: “How do you know if someone tells you something you can’t repeat it unless he gives you permission? The pasuk says ‘Hashem spojefrom the Tent of Meeting saying.'” “Saying” means you can repeat it.

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Torah Riddles Test #209

 2.      Question: Why does the prohibition of mechamer only apply to animals but not to slaves?

Background:

A. The melacha of Mechamer is the prohibition to command or lead your animal to do a melacha for you, for example instructing your donkey to walk while it has packages on it’s back or while a hoe is attached to it and inevitably the ground will be plowed.

B. There is a positive mitzvah on the owner to rest one’s animal and slave on Shabbos. The question is why doesn’t the negative mitzvah also apply for the slave?

C. A slave has free choice but an animal doesn’t, however when a slave does listen to the master it should be no different than the animal?

 D. The Ra”n and Rashba, arguing on the Minchas Chinuch hold that the prohibition of mechamer also applies to an animal which does not belong to you since it is doing a melacha on your command, you caused it to moved and it’s as if you did the melacha. But the Minchas Chinuch holds this only applies to your own animal because the verse says “and your animal”.

 Answer: Since a slave has free choice, even though he will do work on the owner’s command but it’s not like the owner itself is doing it, because the slave decides to listen to the command. But by an animal doing work on command of it’s owner or anyone’s command then it’s as if the person himself did the action because he caused the animal to do it without any other outside factors like a decision by the listener, so he transgressed the prohibition.

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Torah Riddles Test #208

1.      Question: Why would the Har Tzvi say that writing one letter on copy paper/carbon paper which will copy itself on the next page is not considered writing two letters on Shabbos but erasing the bridge on the letter ches, turning it into two zayins is considered writing two letters on shabbos?

Background:

A. The Tilale Sadeh hold these two cases are comparable to each other so on the contrary by the ches which the bridge was erased it should not be as bad because you didn’t even write one letter and nevertheless you are liable because we go by the result which was creating two zayins, so all the more so if you wrote one letter and the letter was copied on the next page you should be liable for writing two letter, so why is the Har Tzvi unsure of the comparison?

B. One is only liable for writing on Shabbos if two letters were written.

Answer: Granted by erasing the bridge on the ches which creates two zayins one is liable on shabbos because you don’t have to literally write two letters, if one creates two letters which ever way one is liable because he actually created two zayins which were not there until now, it was just made all at once when the bridge of the ches was erased. But when writing one letter on this copy paper only one letter is really being written it’s just an impression of it is made on the next page, meaning two letters weren’t really written, rather only one was written and imposed on the next page so really only one letter was written so not liable for writing on shabbos. [/exapnd]

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Ki Seitzei – Kindness Consistently

For Food for Thought in Spanish: Haga clic aquí para leer en español. Please share this with your Jewish Spanish speaking family, friends, and associates.

“’You shall love your fellow Jew as yourself’ (Vayikra 19:18). Said Rabbi Akiva: This is a great principle in the Torah” (Rashi based on a Sifra in Kedoshim 3:12).

The Sifsei Chachamim on this Rashi explains that within this mitzvah is the entire Torah, as Hillel said: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole entire Torah and the rest is it’s explanation.” What do Rebbe Akiva and Hillel mean by their statements? Why is this pasuk so important that it is considered the central pasuk of the Torah and everything else is just a detailed explanation of this pasuk? (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Torah in this week’s portion of Ki Seitzei states in the first 3 pesukim of perek 22, “You may not observe your brother’s ox or his sheep lost and conceal yourself from them; you must surely return them to your brother. But if your brother is not near you or you do not know him, gather it into your house and let it stay with you until your brother seeks it, when you must return it to him. And so are you to do for his donkey, and so are you to do for his garment, and so are you to do for any lost object of your brother’s that is lost from him which you find, you may not conceal yourself.”
Rabbeinu Bachye explains that the Torah commands us to be vigilant with returning lost objects to their rightful owners. The Torah used a double language of השב תשיבם, that he should surely return the object, which Chazal say means even if it gets lost 100 times one must return it. These are the ways of kindness and mercy, to train our minds that we are one nation deserving of us having one father, each one desiring the good for another, and having pity on each other’s property. So, whether the lost object is an animal or an inanimate object, one is obligated to return it to its owner. That is what the pasuk mean when it says, “and so you shall do to his donkey” which is an animal but a non-kosher animal. Then it says, “And so you shall do with his garment,” even though it’s not as important as an animal. “And so, you shall do to any lost object of your friend” which is any other vessel even though it’s not as important as clothes (since it’s not used to cover yourself); still you can’t ignore it and must return it to him. And when it says, “You may not conceal yourself,” don’t understand it to just be referring to returning lost objects, but rather to other specific needs and all assistance one can give to his fellow. Such as to remove and push away any damage that can befall him, one is obligated in all this as the pasuk says, “And you should love your neighbor as yourself”. Chazal also learns from the words “And if you hide yourself from them” as well as the fact that it also writes “You shall not hide yourself from them.” How [does one resolve the contradiction]? An elderly person, where it is not respectful for him to be obligated in returning the object, the Torah says he may conceal himself, but other people may not conceal themselves. (Click here for Hebrew text.)
Don’t most people like to and want to help one another? Isn’t it a natural feeling for people to want to help others and be nice to them? It is simply the right thing to do! What lesson is the Torah trying to send to us by saying we should return lost objects, and the progression of what kind of objects should be returned, which is anyways anything returnable? Why also does Rabbeinu Bachye connect this pasuk with any other help you can offer someone and emphasize that we should feel like one big happy family, responsible for each other? Indeed, why did he bring in the pasuk of “Love your neighbor as yourself?”

It is true that everyone would agree we should help each other; kindness is a basic tenant in life. However, Rabbeinu Bachye is teaching us that the Torah expects us to do it on a consistent basis. One shouldn’t feel like ‘I’ll do it when I am in the mood’ or make up other excuses for not helping others or returning what others have lost if they found it.

Rabbeinu Bachye is showing us the means of how to instill into our minds the feeling that we should always feel the need to help others and assist them in their needs, no matter what the circumstance. This is, by instilling in our minds the attitude that we are all children of one Father, Hashem. Just as siblings feel a personal obligation to take care of each other, we should also feel the same way about every Jew. There should be no excuse of what kind of object should be returned. One shouldn’t say to himself, ‘he won’t be missing this,’ or ‘it’s not as important as other things are,’ or ‘they are always replaceable.’ Rather, one should pick it up and find the owner anyways. You would want the same thing done for you if you were in the owner’s shoes.

 Of course, this applies to any issue a person has, any dilemma your fellow Jew gets into, one should always feel the need to help, and to help you feel that need, you should put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel? However, everything is within reason, and an elderly person isn’t expected to do as much as a younger person; therefore the Torah exempts the elderly from the mitzvah of returning lost objects.

Now we can understand why “Love your neighbor as yourself” is so important, and everything else is just detailed explanation. The reason is because this pasuk is what will propel a person to serve Hashem properly,  For example, what will help a person do a mitzvah between a man and his fellow like returning a lost object, lending money, hosting guests, visiting the sick, or any other kindness, is to think about themselves being in need of help; wouldn’t you want someone to help you, and to do it properly? But also regarding mitzvos between man and G-D, wouldn’t you want your child to listen to what you say, or any one for that matter, if you asked them to do something for you? If so, then you should do the same for Hashem, your Father and King, to do His will by fulfilling His Torah and mitzvos.

Creating motivations, like the pasuk “Love your neighbor as yourself,” to properly serve Hashem and do his will is very important for success in having a fulfilling life and everything else is just details of what exactly to do.

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Shoftim -Sensitivity to Another’s Change of Feelings


One of the prohibitions in this week’s Torah portion of Shoftim is, “And you shall not set up for yourself a monument, which Hashem, your God hates” (Devarim 16:22). The Rosh points out, “Even though He loved the monuments in the days of The Forefathers, as we find regarding Yaakov, ‘and he set it up as a monument’ (Breishis 28:18), but since the Amorites were accustomed to make them for the sake of their idols ‘I hate them’. Similarly, we can find the equivalent in the first chapter of Avoda Zara 8a.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

[The gemara in  Avoda Zara that the Daas Zekeinim must be referring to, it writes: “With regard to the dates of these festivals, the Sages taught: When Adam the first man saw that the day was progressively diminishing, as the days become shorter from the autumnal equinox until the winter solstice, he did not yet know that this is a normal phenomenon, and therefore he said: Woe is me; perhaps because I sinned the world is becoming dark around me and will ultimately return to the primordial state of chaos and disorder. And this is the death that was sentenced upon me from Heaven, as it is written: ‘And to dust shall you return’ (Genesis 3:19). He arose and spent eight days in fasting and in prayer. Once he saw that the season of Tevet, i.e., the winter solstice, had arrived, and saw that the day was progressively lengthening after the solstice, he said: Clearly, the days become shorter and then longer, and this is the order of the world. He went and observed a festival for eight days. Upon the next year, he observed both these eight days on which he had fasted on the previous year, and these eight days of his celebration, as days of festivities. He, Adam, established these festivals for the sake of Heaven, but they, the gentiles of later generations, established them for the sake of idol worship.”]

The case the Rosh mentions of Yaakov Avinu is when he fled from Esav on the way to Lavan and he stopped by the future place of the Har HaBayis,(Temple Mount.) Here he had the dream of the angels going up and down the ladder and the 12 stones coalesced into one, which he used as a pillow, and dedicated as a monument in the morning. The Ramban there explains the difference between a matzeiva, a monument and a mizbeach, an altar: “Our rabbis have already taught us in Avoda Zara 53b the difference between a matzeva and a mizbeach. The matzeiva is one big stone and the mizbeach is many stones put together. Furthermore, it would seem the matzeiva is only used for pouring wine libations and anointing oil on it, not for a burnt offering or any other sacrifice. The mizbeach is used to offer up burnt offerings and peace offerings. When they came into The Land the matzeiva became forbidden to them (Devarim 16:22) because the Canaanites used it more centrally to worship idols then alters, even though it writes by them, ‘But you shall demolish their altars’ (Shemos 34:13). Or He didn’t want to prohibit everything, and He left the mizbeach which can be used for libations and sacrifices.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

Imagine if a monument was set up in the Beis Hamikdash to bring wine libations to Hashem. The Kohen Gadol, purely for the Sake of Heaven, gave a wine libation on the monument; what would be wrong with that? He is doing something purely out of love and fear of Hashem, without any ulterior motives and in such a holy place; why should that be forbidden? Yet Hashem forbade it and loathes a matzeiva, even though it was once permitted and beloved by Hashem when Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov did it, because the Canaanites now used it for their idols. It became their central process of worship. so it is now detestable, even when used in worshiping Hashem.

If Hashem, the Almighty, King Of All King, in truth one and only G-D, can on an intellectual level express that something which was beloved by Him as an expression of commitment and dedication by the forefathers, can now be hated because this form of worship became centrally used by heathens towards their false gods, then all the more so, on an emotional level, we have to be sensitive to the fragile feelings of human beings. Indeed, it is possible that what a person once liked and enjoyed he or she might not love anymore, and might in fact hate with a passion. If you are notified or realize someone has a change of heart, then you should be cognizant of this fact, and it is a poor excuse to say that you meant well and were only trying to give them a gift which you knew they used to like. It can hurt a person. Even if they did like it but now for whatever reason they change their minds, even if you have all the proper intent if this is not what they desire, it’s not appropriate to give it to them as a gift.

Bottomline, outside factors can change a situation and one with even the purest of intent can possibly hurt someone else and be doing something wrong.

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Re’eh- Proper Etiquette for Eating Meat

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In this week’s Torah portion of Re’eh we learn that after Bnei Yisrael arrives in their land, animals may be slaughtered for their meat, even without bringing them as an offering. The Torah states, “When Hashem, your G-D, will broaden your boundary as He spoke to you, and you say, ‘I would eat meat’ for you desire to eat meat, to your heart’s entire desire may you eat meat” (Devarim 12:20). Rabbeinu Bachye explains that non-consecrated meat had to be permitted to them when they entered into the land, for in the desert all the meat eaten was sanctified peace offerings.

The Rabbeinu Bachye also says the Torah is teaching proper manners, derech eretz, that a person should only eat meat through wealth and expanse, and this is what the pasuk meant by “will broaden.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
The Torah is teaching us a lesson in derech eretz, proper manners; that one should not eat meat unless he is rich and has plenty. But what is wrong with the average person having a hamburger or hot dog, or even splurging on a fancy steak occasionally? And why is it a lack of manners for someone not wealthy to eat meat?

America is known as the land of plenty and pretty much everyone is wealthy. Even lower income families have a place to live with electricity, plumbing and even a cell phone and internet even if it may be subsidized. This country is not known as the country of kindness for nothing, and people should recognize and give gratitude for that.

However, the lesson we learn from this pasuk and the Rabbeinu Bachye is that derech eretz, proper etiquette, isn’t just please and thank, or holding the door for somebody, or eating our food with a fork, knife and a napkin in hand. It is also knowing our status in life. There is a time and a place for everything. Even for each individual there are things which are befitting for that individual and not for others. This even applies to foods.

A person with proper derech eretz knows his place in life and lives accordingly in a respectable manner and does not overstep his boundaries.

Good Shabbos,
 Rabbi Dovid Shmuel Milder

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Eikev – Educating Our Jewish Children

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The second paragraph of the Shema is found towards the end of this week’s Torah portion of Eikev. The Ramban points out a very subtle but fascinating difference between the first two paragraphs of the Shema. Around the conclusion of the second paragraph the Torah states, “Teach them to your children, to discuss them, while you sit in your home, while you walk on the way, when you retire and when you arise” (Devarim 11: 19). In the first paragraph of shema it writes, “Inform through teaching your children and speak of them while you sit in your home, while you walk on the way, when you retire and when you arise” (Devarim 6:7).
The Ramban observes, “It makes sense according to the simple explanation of the pesukim that the Torah is coming to add something here (in the second paragraph of the Shema) when it says ‘to discuss them,’ for there (in the first paragraph of the Shema) it commands ‘and you speak them when you sit in your house’. Here it is saying we should teach our children to the point that the children will be constantly speaking about it at all times. It also adds here, ‘teach them’ but there it says ‘inform through teaching’ which means to tell them about the mitzvos. Here, they should teach to them so that they will know it, and make them understand them and the reason [behind the mitzvos] to speak them with you at all time.” (Click here for Hebrew text.)

In the first paragraph of the Shema, the Ramban remarks that “these mitzvos are already hinted to, because after there was a command to observe the mitzvos, as a statute in the world for all your generations, ‘Between Me and the Jews, it shall be an eternal sign’ (Shemos 31:17). ‘This is my covenant that you shall observe between you and Me and between your children after you’ (Breishis 17:10). Behold we are commanded to inform our children about the mitzvos, and how can you inform them if you don’t teach it to them?!” (Click here for Hebrew text.)
At first glance there seems to be a progression; Hashem first commanded the generation in the Desert to know and observe the mitzvos. This is an obligation for all generations, but perhaps one might think the subsequent generations would have to figure out on their own how to observe them. Therefore the first paragraph of the Shema commands the parents to tell their children about the mitzvos, possibly assuming that once we know what to do, we can figure out on our own how to do it. Then in the second paragraph of the Shema Hashem instructs the parents to teach the children so well that this is all they talk about all day.

However, if this is true, then why did the Torah have to tell us this in this sequence? Why not just get to the point and command the parents to be sure the children know how to properly observe the Torah and Mitzvos? Also, the Ramban, in the first paragraph of the Shema, seems to refer to telling over the mitzvos as teaching them, for how else would they know them? But, in the second paragraph, he seems to refer to this level as just stating the mitzvos, and the third level as teaching them in their entirety. But is this a contradiction in the Ramban; and if not, what is the difference between the two levels of progression?

Upon further analysis it would seem that the Ramban is showing us the process of educating our children. Ideally, Hashem first commanded us to have the resolve to be Torah observant and only then we can give it over to the next generation. Then, once the parents are following the Torah and mitzvos, the Torah instructs the parents to lecture the children on how to fulfill the Torah and mitzvos in its entirety. But lecturing isn’t enough; to ensure the next generation will be properly observant there has to be an attitude of dialogue. Children have to feel comfortable in asking their parents if they are observing the Torah and keeping the mitzvos in the proper manner, to the point that this is the focal point of their lives. Torah is all they speak about and enjoy speaking about. Everything they do and talk about is connected to the Torah in some shape or form. Only then has the parents ideally reached their obligation of ensuring the continuity of the Torah and its mitzvos to the next generation.